Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

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txadv11
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Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby txadv11 » Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:46 pm

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Last edited by txadv11 on Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:38 pm, edited 7 times in total.

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txadv11
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby txadv11 » Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:23 am

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Last edited by txadv11 on Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

etown989
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby etown989 » Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:48 am

txadv11 wrote:I'm a little apprehensive about publishing my faults to the whole world. Would anyone be willing to review my answers to the criminal and disciplinary questions found on all of my applications?
They aren't too serious and no arrests..mainly underage possession of alcohol and stupid fraternity stuff.

Any good reviewers or seasoned veterans in this area willing to take a look? Any help is much appreciated!

Please private message me and I will send you the addendum.

Thanks!


sounds like you just did reveal them... so just post your addendum and you'll get some feedback quicker

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txadv11
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby txadv11 » Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:55 am

etown989 wrote:
txadv11 wrote:I'm a little apprehensive about publishing my faults to the whole world. Would anyone be willing to review my answers to the criminal and disciplinary questions found on all of my applications?
They aren't too serious and no arrests..mainly underage possession of alcohol and stupid fraternity stuff.

Any good reviewers or seasoned veterans in this area willing to take a look? Any help is much appreciated!

Please private message me and I will send you the addendum.

Thanks!


sounds like you just did reveal them... so just post your addendum and you'll get some feedback quicker


done!

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txadv11
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby txadv11 » Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:23 pm

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Last edited by txadv11 on Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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txadv11
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby txadv11 » Wed Oct 27, 2010 1:06 pm

Shortened and edited.... someone PLEASE critique my revised copy!

SupraVln180
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby SupraVln180 » Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:28 pm

Question 2 is fine. But for question 1, why would you get in trouble for standing there while other people yelled at some kids? it just sounds suspect. First thing that comes to my mind is they were yelling derogatory things at the pledges, or else I don't know why there would be a problem. I would say, go into a little more detail about question 1, because you don't want speculations like that rolling around in the AdComms heads.

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txadv11
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby txadv11 » Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:39 pm

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Last edited by txadv11 on Mon Nov 15, 2010 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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djjf39
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby djjf39 » Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:59 pm

txadv11 wrote:Would anyone be willing to review my answers to the criminal and disciplinary questions found on all of my applications?
Thanks for taking the time to review my addendum. Please feel free to point out anything unclear along with any grammatical errors!


Question 1 Response:
At the beginning of my sophomore year I was asked by my University to complete ten hours of community service following a minor incident with my fraternity. The incident consisted of four fraternity members being verbally disrespectful to some new members. At absolutely no time were there any drugs, alcohol, physical contact, threats, or any type of extreme activity. Several fraternity members yelled at some new members. I did not take part in the yelling, however, I was present and did observe it, without stopping them. The school chose to assign me ten hours of community service, even though I was not directly involved.

One year after this I was elected to vice president of the fraternity. I was also assigned to be in charge of the new members. Two months later I was elected by a majority of the chapter to serve as the President. This includes the votes of every one of the active members that were new members at the time of this incident. Dr. XXXXX, who is the XXXX fraternity faculty advisor is aware of the situation. He fully supports my decision to apply for law school and wrote me a letter of recommendation.

Question 2 Response:
Although I have never been arrested, I have been issued written citations. In the Spring of 2008 I was cited on two separate occasions for minor in possession of alcohol. I was granted deferred adjudication, and promptly completed community service, paid $553.00 in fines, and attended the required education courses. I take full responsibility for my actions, and being only six months away from legal age, I should not have partaken in this activity. Both citations were dismissed in 2008. I was also cleared of any violation stemming from a situation outside of friend's dorm room in October 2007. Campus police noticed a girl in a nearby hallway with a beer. A subsequent search of the room found alcohol, although I was not in possession in any way. I was not arrested or ticketed and was cleared of all wrongdoing.

I understand the importance of having high moral and ethical standards that are required of all licensed attorneys. I take full responsibility for my past mistakes. To demonstrate that my youthful indiscretions are behind me, I have earned several important leadership positions and have many outstanding accomplishments to show in recent years.



I prefer:

Question 1
My sophomore year my University required me to complete ten hours of community service following a minor incident with my fraternity. The incident consisted of four fraternity members being verbally disrespectful to some new members. I did not take part in this abuse, however, I was present and did observe it, without stopping them. One year after this incident my fraternity elected me vice president; I was also assigned to be in charge of the new members. Two months later I was elected by a majority of the chapter to serve as the President. This includes the votes of every one of the active members that were new members at the time of the original incident. Dr. XXXXX, who is the XXXX fraternity faculty advisor is aware of the situation. He fully supports my decision to apply for law school and wrote me a letter of recommendation.

Question 2
Although I have never been arrested, I have been issued written citations. In the Spring of 2008 I was cited on two separate occasions for minor in possession of alcohol. I was granted deferred adjudication, promptly completed community service, paid $553.00 in fines, and attended the required education courses. Both citations were dismissed in 2008. I was also cleared of any violation stemming from a situation outside of friend's dorm room in October 2007. A search of the room found alcohol, although I was not in possession in any way. I was not arrested or ticketed and was cleared of all wrongdoing. I take full responsibility for my past actions and decisions.

Two Quick Points

1. Addenda need to be short, keep them pithy and directed at your resolution not the original incident.

2. Clever turns of phrase like "youthful indiscretions" sound good in one's head, but when an adcomm reads that line after 100s of apps you run into problems. No need to get cute, best case the adcomm treats that sort of line as extraneous commentary, worst case you come off sounding insincere and entitled.

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txadv11
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Re: Willing to review my crim. history/disciplinary Questions ?

Postby txadv11 » Wed Oct 27, 2010 3:41 pm

djjf39- I agree, it is a bit lengthy. I'll cut out several parts of this. I appreciate your thoughts.




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