Why X

(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )
HopefullyLaw
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:24 pm

Why X

Postby HopefullyLaw » Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:08 pm

So, I really want to go to a certain law school. Below is my "Why X" law school draft. It is very rough. I just don't know what to say that doesn't come across as desperate. I love the location of the campus, the know alumni from the school, am very interested in specifically two of their academic programs, et cetera. Any help will be much appreciated. Thank you!

Why X University Law School Letter

Dear X University Law School Admissions:
X University Law School consistently ranks as a top school for scholarly innovation. Only those men and women who possess the determination to become intellectuals in legal knowledge gain admission to X. Because of X’s Social Justice Program and Program in Law and Government, no other institution matches my desire to become a student at X Law School. Few law schools offer programs of such a high caliber that prepares students to both practice law and understand law as a distinct body of academic study. Without any trepidation, I firmly believe my admittance to X University Law School will add to the academic prosperity of my peers through my unwavering scholastic curiosities. With my guarantee of a commitment to intellectual advancement, I ask for the honor and privilege to gain admission to X University Law School.

Sincerely,

Me

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Helmholtz
Posts: 4394
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:48 pm

Re: Why X

Postby Helmholtz » Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:11 pm

HopefullyLaw wrote:So, I really want to go to a certain law school. Below is my "Why X" law school draft. It is very rough. I just don't know what to say that doesn't come across as desperate. I love the location of the campus, the know alumni from the school, am very interested in specifically two of their academic programs, et cetera. Any help will be much appreciated. Thank you!

Why X University Law School Letter

Dear X University Law School Admissions:
X University Law School consistently ranks as a top school for scholarly innovation. Only those men and women who possess the determination to become intellectuals in legal knowledge gain admission to X. Because of X’s Social Justice Program and Program in Law and Government, no other institution matches my desire to become a student at X Law School. Few law schools offer programs of such a high caliber that prepares students to both practice law and understand law as a distinct body of academic study. Without any trepidation, I firmly believe my admittance to X University Law School will add to the academic prosperity of my peers through my unwavering scholastic curiosities. With my guarantee of a commitment to intellectual advancement, I ask for the honor and privilege to gain admission to X University Law School.

Sincerely,

Me


Wait, which school only admits people possessing the determination of becoming intellectuals in legal knowledge?

Overall, it just sounds bad and impersonal. The fact that I can't really tell which school you're talking about is not a good thing. They really should be personalized and not a boilerplate essay full of generalities.

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IAFG
Posts: 6665
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:26 pm

Re: Why X

Postby IAFG » Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:15 pm

you name two programs that are very different in focus and scope in the same sentence without any supporting points. this is not a sign of being well informed about the school. or law school in general, really.

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achilles
Posts: 160
Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:08 am

Re: Why X

Postby achilles » Sat Oct 23, 2010 7:17 pm

are you sending this in an email in lieu of a why x essay?

bdubs
Posts: 3729
Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:23 pm

Re: Why X

Postby bdubs » Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:37 pm

HopefullyLaw wrote:So, I really want to go to a certain law school. Below is my "Why X" law school draft. It is very rough. I just don't know what to say that doesn't come across as desperate. I love the location of the campus, the know alumni from the school, am very interested in specifically two of their academic programs, et cetera. Any help will be much appreciated. Thank you!

Why X University Law School Letter

Dear X University Law School Admissions:
X University Law School consistently ranks as a top school for scholarly innovation. Only those men and women who possess the determination to become intellectuals in legal knowledge gain admission to X. Because of X’s Social Justice Program and Program in Law and Government, no other institution matches my desire to become a student at X Law School. Few law schools offer programs of such a high caliber that prepares students to both practice law and understand law as a distinct body of academic study. Without any trepidation, I firmly believe my admittance to X University Law School will add to the academic prosperity of my peers through my unwavering scholastic curiosities. With my guarantee of a commitment to intellectual advancement, I ask for the honor and privilege to gain admission to X University Law School.

Sincerely,

Me


Sending this is worse than sending nothing. These essays need to be very tailored to the school. Van Winkle has a "Why X" thread you should read, I think it's in the PS forum.

Saltqjibo
Posts: 271
Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2010 6:47 pm

Re: Why X

Postby Saltqjibo » Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:58 pm

School X sounds like a sweet place full of academic prosperity and intellectuals in legal knowledge where they understand law as a distinct body of academic study. (sorry):)

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DukeCornell
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu May 21, 2009 3:19 am

Re: Why X

Postby DukeCornell » Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:05 pm

Saltqjibo wrote:School X sounds like a sweet place full of academic prosperity and intellectuals in legal knowledge where they understand law as a distinct body of academic study. (sorry):)

:lol:

glacierfrost
Posts: 115
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:58 pm

Re: Why X

Postby glacierfrost » Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:18 pm

I have never EVER heard of the term "academic prosperity".

Echoing what the others have said, the essay should be completely reworked. The way it is now, it seems like it could be an essay written for any school so when your school receives it they won't really know anything new or compelling about you or your desire for their school. For all they know, you could have sent the same letter to a bunch of other schools. I suggest doing some more research about the school and then trying again.




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