How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )
User avatar
paratactical
Posts: 5961
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:06 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby paratactical » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:27 pm

bk1 wrote:Para, you need to so being so reasonable.


I think you just accidentally the noun.

User avatar
existenz
Posts: 927
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:06 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby existenz » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:27 pm

dresden doll wrote:Men tend to be more prone to overconfidence. I find this weird.

It's not weird. We rule the world. What you call "overconfidence", we call "thinking ahead".

Thanks for handling the baby part btw.

Anyway, I'm off to create things while the womenfolk talk more about feeelings...

User avatar
bk1
Posts: 18402
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:06 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby bk1 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:28 pm

paratactical wrote:
bk1 wrote:Para, you need to so being so reasonable.


I think you just accidentally the noun.

Fuck my phone. :(

User avatar
URMdan
Posts: 402
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:03 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby URMdan » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:30 pm

existenz wrote:
dresden doll wrote:Men tend to be more prone to overconfidence. I find this weird.

It's not weird. We rule the world. What you call "overconfidence", we call "thinking ahead".

Thanks for handling the baby part btw.

Anyway, I'm off to create things while the womenfolk talk more about feeelings...



You call it arrogance, I call it confidence :mrgreen:

User avatar
paratactical
Posts: 5961
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:06 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby paratactical » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:45 pm

URMdan wrote:You call it arrogance, I call it confidence :mrgreen:


Image

User avatar
dresden doll
Posts: 6802
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:11 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby dresden doll » Tue Oct 12, 2010 3:54 pm

existenz wrote:
dresden doll wrote:Men tend to be more prone to overconfidence. I find this weird.

It's not weird. We rule the world. What you call "overconfidence", we call "thinking ahead".

Thanks for handling the baby part btw.

Anyway, I'm off to create things while the womenfolk talk more about feeelings...


That made me cry.

Seriously, though, generalizations drawn ITT are lulzy. By all means, let's treat OP's friend as if she were the microcosmic representation of her entire gender.

Anyway. OP is showing overt solicitude regarding her friend. Wanting to set her straight is all nice and well, but if LSN/TLS combined haven't made her see the light, nothing outside of rejection letters will.

User avatar
20121109
Posts: 2149
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:19 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby 20121109 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:15 pm

Talked to my friend last night.

Gaia: Have you filled out your apps yet?
Friend: Working on them now...I'm actually nervous. But I'm hopeful
G: Which apps are you filling out?
F: Columbia, Stanford, Chicago, Harvard, NYU....you know all the ones I care about...
G:*awkward silence* What other schools are you applying to?
F: Bout to fill out my Cornell app!!
G: You want to practice in NY, right? Maybe you should send in an app to Fordham too? You know, you can never be too careful....Definitely send in apps to Cardozo and Brooklyn as safeties
F: I don't know, I think I'll be fine...besides its gonna cost a lot of money to apply to all those schools. I can only afford so much...
G: I think its important you send in some apps to lower-ranked schools...you never know who could give you a full-ride!!
F: Yeah, but I'd rather go to a school that has a name, you know. That has prestige...the only schools in NY that have the kind of prestige I'm after are NYU and Columbia
G: *awkwarder silence* I really, really think you should send in app to schools below the T14. I know you don't like those schools, but you have to protect yourself in case you get unlucky.
F: I'll be fine, Gaia. I promise.
G: You looked at those websites I recommended, right?
F: Oh yeah...but I won't let that get in the way of my ambition
G: You mean your LSAT and GPA?
F: Yeah.
G: Awesome.

User avatar
dresden doll
Posts: 6802
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:11 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby dresden doll » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:17 pm

^Do you seriously think there's more to be done? Seriously? Just let those rejection letters kick in and do the talking. Your work's done here.

User avatar
bk1
Posts: 18402
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:06 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby bk1 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:17 pm

GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:Talked to my friend last night.

[CONVO]


bk1 wrote:Find friends you can be honest with. HTH.

User avatar
20121109
Posts: 2149
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:19 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby 20121109 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:18 pm

dresden doll wrote:^Do you seriously think there's more to be done? Seriously? Just let those rejection letters kick in and do the talking. Your work's done here.


I guess so :|

User avatar
paratactical
Posts: 5961
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:06 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby paratactical » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:19 pm

GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:
dresden doll wrote:^Do you seriously think there's more to be done? Seriously? Just let those rejection letters kick in and do the talking. Your work's done here.


I guess so :|


PM me her email address and I'll send her the Hahhhhhvahd resumes.

User avatar
beachbum
Posts: 2766
Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:35 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby beachbum » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:20 pm

dresden doll wrote:^Do you seriously think there's more to be done? Seriously? Just let those rejection letters kick in and do the talking. Your work's done here.


+1. You tried. Reality's a bitch.

User avatar
dresden doll
Posts: 6802
Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:11 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby dresden doll » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:22 pm

GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:
dresden doll wrote:^Do you seriously think there's more to be done? Seriously? Just let those rejection letters kick in and do the talking. Your work's done here.


I guess so :|


I guess I don't entirely understand the depth of your concern.

Yes, your friend will get rejected. It will hurt. But she will live. There's always the option of retaking and EDing to a T6 next year.

Really, it won't be the end of the world. You're putting more effort and concern into this than it objectively deserves.

User avatar
ahduth
Posts: 2468
Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:55 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby ahduth » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:24 pm

She doesn't want to confront her, it's not terribly complicated. "Honest discussions" about law school apps aren't worth losing friendships over.

User avatar
20121109
Posts: 2149
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 8:19 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby 20121109 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 4:29 pm

dresden doll wrote:
GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:
dresden doll wrote:^Do you seriously think there's more to be done? Seriously? Just let those rejection letters kick in and do the talking. Your work's done here.


I guess so :|


I guess I don't entirely understand the depth of your concern.

Yes, your friend will get rejected. It will hurt. But she will live. There's always the option of retaking and EDing to a T6 next year.

Really, it won't be the end of the world. You're putting more effort and concern into this than it objectively deserves.


I don't know...she's my best friend and I'm very close with her family. I guess I have issues with seeing my best friend run into a wall. And I don't want her to think that I think she's not T6 material. I don't want her to be offended. I know I've tried...oh well.

I'm not upset about it...I just care.

User avatar
URMdan
Posts: 402
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:03 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby URMdan » Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:41 pm

GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:
dresden doll wrote:
GAIAtheCHEERLEADER wrote:
dresden doll wrote:^Do you seriously think there's more to be done? Seriously? Just let those rejection letters kick in and do the talking. Your work's done here.


I guess so :|


I guess I don't entirely understand the depth of your concern.

Yes, your friend will get rejected. It will hurt. But she will live. There's always the option of retaking and EDing to a T6 next year.

Really, it won't be the end of the world. You're putting more effort and concern into this than it objectively deserves.


I don't know...she's my best friend and I'm very close with her family. I guess I have issues with seeing my best friend run into a wall. And I don't want her to think that I think she's not T6 material. I don't want her to be offended. I know I've tried...oh well.

I'm not upset about it...I just care.



I think that you are exaggerating how much you really "care" about her, and you are using this thread to release some steam in the form of talking smack about her behind her back. You would probably prefer to see your friend get dinged at all the schools she applies to instead of getting accepted.

User avatar
capitalacq
Posts: 639
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:42 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby capitalacq » Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:42 pm

does your friend go by the name URMdan?

User avatar
acrossthelake
Posts: 4432
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 5:27 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby acrossthelake » Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:48 pm

Gaia,

In this economy, she is probably worse off at the safeties her numbers will buy her. She's better off over-aiming, getting dinged everywhere, then being motivated to either retake or do something else. It will suck, it will hurt, but it's actually better, IMO that she have overconfidence and try and get rejected @ T6 than overconfidence that she could, say, go to Cooley and get biglaw. You've done all you can. Just get like a care package ready for rejections with like cookie dough and stuff.

User avatar
bk1
Posts: 18402
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:06 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby bk1 » Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:49 pm

URMdan wrote:I think that you are exaggerating how much you really "care" about her, and you are using this thread to release some steam in the form of talking smack about her behind her back. You would probably prefer to see your friend get dinged at all the schools she applies to instead of getting accepted.


fml

User avatar
URMdan
Posts: 402
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 8:03 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby URMdan » Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:52 pm

capitalacq wrote:does your friend go by the name URMdan?



Yes

User avatar
IAFG
Posts: 6665
Joined: Mon Jun 15, 2009 1:26 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby IAFG » Tue Oct 12, 2010 6:53 pm

URMdan wrote:I think that you are exaggerating how much you really "care" about her, and you are using this thread to release some steam in the form of talking smack about her behind her back. You would probably prefer to see your friend get dinged at all the schools she applies to instead of getting accepted.

combined with the comment about not going to as prestigious a UG... lol insightful

User avatar
clintonius
Posts: 1239
Joined: Mon Feb 08, 2010 1:50 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby clintonius » Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:33 pm

paratactical wrote:
bk1 wrote:Para, you need to so being so reasonable.


I think you just accidentally the noun.

Wait. Accidentally the noun? Or accidentally forgot the?

User avatar
romothesavior
Posts: 14772
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:29 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby romothesavior » Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:51 pm

Just let her do her thing. I mean, a 165/3.25 non-URM girl would struggle to get into Fordham, and even if she got in with little to no $, it would be a terrible decision ITE. Telling her to apply to a school like Fordham and drop 200k+ for a law degree or go to a school like Brooklyn or Cardozo is not good advice.

She needs to re-take, get some work experience, or search for a long lost Native American ancestor. Or all three. But telling her to apply to "safeties" where she could get in but attend at sticker is not TCR. Just let her do her own thing and figure out that she is dreaming if she thinks she can get into those schools with her numbers.

I had a friend who went to a T4 despite my advice not to. But like someone above said, unsolicited advice usually fails (and often ruins friendships). You just gotta let her do her thing.

Renzo
Posts: 4265
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 3:23 am

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby Renzo » Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:00 am

clintonius wrote:
paratactical wrote:
bk1 wrote:Para, you need to so being so reasonable.


I think you just accidentally the noun.

Wait. Accidentally the noun? Or accidentally forgot the?

Accidentally the adverb, I think.

User avatar
paratactical
Posts: 5961
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:06 pm

Re: How to let a close friend know she has little/no chance?

Postby paratactical » Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:40 am

clintonius wrote:
paratactical wrote:
bk1 wrote:Para, you need to so being so reasonable.


I think you just accidentally the noun.

Wait. Accidentally the noun? Or accidentally forgot the?


Welcome to the internet.




Return to “Law School Admissions Forum”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Yahoo [Bot] and 1 guest