Addendum Critique

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Fadedjoebreezy
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:30 pm

Addendum Critique

Postby Fadedjoebreezy » Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:46 pm

Here is my addendum. I feel that it is fine, except for the last paragraph. the part that comes after "I feel that I have learned from my mistakes....." Any suggestions. I'll admit I acted foolishly at stages in my life, but I think all these experiences helped me learn a much larger lesson of responisibility over stupidity.

"During the fall semester of my freshman year at Mount St. Mary’s University, my roommate and I were written up by a Resident Assistant for possessing alcohol in our room. As part of our punishment issued by the University, I performed community service for my actions.

Additionally, while visiting friends at College Misericordia during the summer of 2007, I was involved in an incident where toilet paper dispensers were damaged in one of the Residence Hall bathrooms. I took responsibility for my actions and agreed to pay approximately fifty-dollars ($50.00) for repairs and also agreed to refrain from visiting the campus in the future.

While both of these actions displayed poor judgment and immaturity, I feel that I have learned from my mistakes and have since become a more responsible person."

Thanks in advance for your bashes, comments, etc...

Fadedjoebreezy
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:30 pm

Re: Addendum Critique

Postby Fadedjoebreezy » Fri Oct 01, 2010 12:38 pm

bump....


anyone, anyone...

thanks!

sarahh
Posts: 610
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2010 2:36 pm

Re: Addendum Critique

Postby sarahh » Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:14 pm

For the first incident, I would put the year.




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