rough GPA addendum- please help :( Forum

[Barbie]

I don't know what I'm doing with this. It feels too long, but I don't know what to cut. PLEASE help meeee

As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively impacted my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergrad, until I endured a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two full months in the hospital to receive and recover from my surgery, during which I did not withdrawal from my full time schedule at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffit Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My overall LSAC calculated GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my admittance to the University of B. This comes to an LSAC calculated GPA of 3.77. I adamantly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator if my ability to perform as a student.

[Barbie]

someone pleaaaaase?

[vespertiliovir]

Seems solid. But "adamantly" sounds weird in your last sentence IMHO, I would suggest changing to "strongly."

[CanadianWolf]

DELETE: "adamantly" & do not replace it.

CHANGE: "withdrawal" to "withdraw".

Your addendum is fine & presents a compelling case.

[manbearwig]

I don't know what I'm doing with this. It feels too long, but I don't know what to cut. PLEASE help meeee

As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively impacted my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergrad, until I endured a very risky procedure to have had it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two full months in the hospital to receive and recover from my surgery, during which I did not withdrawal from my full time schedule at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffit Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My overall LSAC calculated GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my admittance to the University of B. This comes to an LSAC calculated GPA of 3.77. I adamantly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator if my ability to perform as a student.

I cut out some stuff I thought unnecessary. However, it's obvious that this is a perfect reason for an addendum so I wouldn't sweat over it too much.

[vespertiliovir]

CHANGE: "withdrawal" to "withdraw".

Good catch, I totally missed that!

[Dany]

I don't know what I'm doing with this. It feels too long, but I don't know what to cut. PLEASE help meeee

As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively impacted affected my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergraduate career, until I endured underwent a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two full months in the hospital to receive and recover from my surgery, during which I did not withdrawal from my full time schedule at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffit Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My overall cumulative LSAC calculated GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my admittance to coursework at the University of B. This comes to an LSAC calculated GPA of 3.77. I adamantly strongly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator if of my ability to perform as a student.

Overall it's great and works nicely with your PS. Minor improvements in word choice and usage can be made, as above, but other than that I think you're set!

[Barbie]

THanks everyone

[jtemp320]

This is a great example of when to write an addendum - though of course all cases won't be this extreme, others should read this and consider if their addenda are really warranted. I also like how you have one clear point to express - your illness and treatment impacted your academic performance and therefore your GPA is not a reflection of your true ability - and solid evidence to back it up - your higher GPA after your recovery. Good addendum and congratulations on your recovery.

[jtemp320]

I don't know what I'm doing with this. It feels too long, but I don't know what to cut. PLEASE help meeee

As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively impacted affected my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergraduate career, until I endured underwent a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two full months in the hospital to receive and recover from my surgery, during which I did not withdrawal from my full time schedule at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffit Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My overall cumulative LSAC calculated GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my admittance to coursework at the University of B. This comes to an LSAC calculated GPA of 3.77. I adamantly strongly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator if of my ability to perform as a student.

Overall it's great and works nicely with your PS. Minor improvements in word choice and usage can be made, as above, but other than that I think you're set!

+1 for these changes btw

[Barbie]

Here is the new one (after reading the edits on here and PMed to me..)

GPA Addendum
As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively affected my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergraduate career, until I underwent a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two months in the hospital to recover from my surgery, during which I maintained my full time student status at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffitt Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My cumulative LSAC GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my coursework at the University of B. These 42 hours comes to an LSAC GPA of 3.77. Please take note of this change, as I strongly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator of my academic abilities.

[CanadianWolf]

CHANGE: "...and thus" to "which"
DELETE: "strongly" before "believe".
ADD: "to" before "participate".

[Skyhook]

I think you need to make it clear that you were "a patient in a clinical trial at Moffitt....", otherwise it suggests you worked on cancer research. Or do I have that wrong?

It might be better to state clearly what your GPA was before surgery and then after surgery to contrast the difference.
For the quoted section in italics something like: "My overall GPA is 3.1, but prior to surgery my GPA was x.x and after surgery 3.77. This latter GPA is far more indicative of my true academic ability."

GPA Addendum
As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively affected my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergraduate career, until I underwent a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two months in the hospital to recover from my surgery, during which I maintained my full time student status at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research to be a patient in a clinical trial at the Moffitt Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My cumulative LSAC GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my coursework at the University of B. These 42 hours comes come to an LSAC GPA of 3.77. Please take note of this change, as I strongly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater better indicator of my academic abilities.

[Barbie]

I think you need to make it clear that you were "a patient in a clinical trial at Moffitt....", otherwise it suggests you worked on cancer research. Or do I have that wrong?

It might be better to state clearly what your GPA was before surgery and then after surgery to contrast the difference.
For the quoted section in italics something like: "My overall GPA is 3.1, but prior to surgery my GPA was x.x and after surgery 3.77. This latter GPA is far more indicative of my true academic ability."

GPA Addendum
As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively affected my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergraduate career, until I underwent a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two months in the hospital to recover from my surgery, during which I maintained my full time student status at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research to be a patient in a clinical trial at the Moffitt Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My cumulative LSAC GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my coursework at the University of B. These 42 hours comes come to an LSAC GPA of 3.77. Please take note of this change, as I strongly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater better indicator of my academic abilities.

Thanks! The 2 GPAs I list are the 2 that they can actually see in my academic summary report. My degree GPA (which started the semester immediately after my tumor was removed) and then my overall. If I can avoid bringing attention to how drastically low that first GPA was... I think I hsould. It's pretty bad. The number itself on a paper makes me cringe haha

[lebroniousjames]

I don't know what I'm doing with this. It feels too long, but I don't know what to cut. PLEASE help meeee

As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively impacted my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergrad, until I endured a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two full months in the hospital to receive and recover from my surgery, during which I did not withdrawal from my full time schedule at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffit Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My overall LSAC calculated GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my admittance to the University of B. This comes to an LSAC calculated GPA of 3.77. I adamantly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator if my ability to perform as a student.

As I mentioned in my personal statement, I struggled through a battle against brain cancer during the first (3) years of undergrad. Despite the challenges that surgery and treatment presented over that time period, I decided to remain enrolled as a full-time student throughout the course of my recovery. Being presented with such adversity only strengthened my commitment to academics, and as my cancer went into remission I was able to raise my GPA to a 3.77 as a transfer student at School B.


I'm personally a fan of short addendums, and I think something like this comes off stronger--you don't have to say anything other than "brain cancer" for someone to realize you had some serious shit going on. You don't need to add in details to build some dramatic (not saying you are being dramatic yourself) storyline. You've already smacked the adcom as hard as possible with the "geez" factor, so I think you can move on from that right away without adding anything else. Next, I think you can skip talking about what your GPA was when you were sick--just highlight what it was/is at School B. The number isolated on its own makes a bigger statement. By compacting everything into (3) sentences, you keep the focus tight on the two things that you are trying to emphasize: brain cancer and a 3.77 transfer GPA. IMO anything else is an unnecessary distraction. Perhaps a standard "medical documentation available upon request" at the bottom as a footer, though.

Congratulations, btw.

[Skyhook]

Thanks! The 2 GPAs I list are the 2 that they can actually see in my academic summary report. My degree GPA (which started the semester immediately after my tumor was removed) and then my overall. If I can avoid bringing attention to how drastically low that first GPA was... I think I hsould. It's pretty bad. The number itself on a paper makes me cringe haha

I understand your reluctance there.
Fact is though that you are tying your earlier poor GPA to the effects of the cancer so the jump would make your case stronger. Think strengthen the argument on LSAT !
That said, it's clear that your overall average was hurt by the earlier part of your studies, and the later studies more than demonstrate your ability. I guess you don't to calculate the earlier GPA.

Can I ask if Uni A was of comparable standard to Uni B?
If Uni B has a higher status then you could add in you did much better at a tougher school. Vice versa, leave it.

If you don't already, you may want to volunteer at Moffitt as that would be excellent soft given your circumstances.

[Skyhook]

I don't know what I'm doing with this. It feels too long, but I don't know what to cut. PLEASE help meeee

As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively impacted my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergrad, until I endured a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two full months in the hospital to receive and recover from my surgery, during which I did not withdrawal from my full time schedule at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffit Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My overall LSAC calculated GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my admittance to the University of B. This comes to an LSAC calculated GPA of 3.77. I adamantly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator if my ability to perform as a student.

As I mentioned in my personal statement, I struggled through a battle against brain cancer during the first (3) years of undergrad. Despite the challenges that surgery and treatment presented over that time period, I decided to remain enrolled as a full-time student throughout the course of my recovery. Being presented with such adversity only strengthened my commitment to academics, and as my cancer went into remission I was able to raise my GPA to a 3.77 as a transfer student at School B.


I'm personally a fan of short addendums, and I think something like this comes off stronger--you don't have to say anything other than "brain cancer" for someone to realize you had some serious shit going on. You don't need to add in details to build some dramatic (not saying you are being dramatic yourself) storyline. You've already smacked the adcom as hard as possible with the "geez" factor, so I think you can move on from that right away without adding anything else. Next, I think you can skip talking about what your GPA was when you were sick--just highlight what it was/is at School B. The number isolated on its own makes a bigger statement. By compacting everything into (3) sentences, you keep the focus tight on the two things that you are trying to emphasize: brain cancer and a 3.77 transfer GPA. IMO anything else is an unnecessary distraction. Perhaps a standard "medical documentation available upon request" at the bottom as a footer, though.

Congratulations, btw.

I agree keeping it shorter is better. Mentioning Moffitt is wise though, it is one of only a few National Cancer Centers, and THE cancer center in the region. Uni B is also one of the better uni's in the region. It ties it up nicely in terms of maintaining academic standards.

How about this:

As I mentioned in my personal statement, during the first (3) years of undergrad I struggled through a battle against ependymoma, a cancer that affects the brain and spine. Despite the challenges that surgery and treatment presented over that time period, I decided to remain enrolled as a full-time student throughout the course of my recovery. Being presented with such adversity only strengthened my commitment to academics. I transferred to Uni B to continue my studies whilst participating in a clinical trial at the Moffitt Cancer Center. After my cancer went into remission I was able to raise my overall GPA to a 3.1 by getting 3.77 in my degree courses as a transfer student at School B.

[lebroniousjames]

I don't know what I'm doing with this. It feels too long, but I don't know what to cut. PLEASE help meeee

As mentioned in my personal statement, I experienced an unfortunate condition that greatly hindered my ability to perform as a student, and thus negatively impacted my GPA. I had a very rare, cancerous tumor called an ependymoma: a type of brain tumor that appears throughout the lower brain and spine. This tumor was present throughout the first three years of my undergrad, until I endured a very risky procedure to have it removed in February 2009. I endured many symptoms from my tumor and treatments prior to this surgery. I then spent two full months in the hospital to receive and recover from my surgery, during which I did not withdrawal from my full time schedule at the University of A. After my surgery, I transferred to the University of B to be close to family and participate in research at the Moffit Cancer Center located on campus. I have thankfully been in remission since my surgery. My overall LSAC calculated GPA is a 3.1, which includes all the coursework I completed while battling this disease. My degree GPA reveals my grades for the past 42 credit hours, which marked the start of my remission and my admittance to the University of B. This comes to an LSAC calculated GPA of 3.77. I adamantly believe that my GPA after the removal of my tumor is a greater indicator if my ability to perform as a student.

As I mentioned in my personal statement, I struggled through a battle against brain cancer during the first (3) years of undergrad. Despite the challenges that surgery and treatment presented over that time period, I decided to remain enrolled as a full-time student throughout the course of my recovery. Being presented with such adversity only strengthened my commitment to academics, and as my cancer went into remission I was able to raise my GPA to a 3.77 as a transfer student at School B.


I'm personally a fan of short addendums, and I think something like this comes off stronger--you don't have to say anything other than "brain cancer" for someone to realize you had some serious shit going on. You don't need to add in details to build some dramatic (not saying you are being dramatic yourself) storyline. You've already smacked the adcom as hard as possible with the "geez" factor, so I think you can move on from that right away without adding anything else. Next, I think you can skip talking about what your GPA was when you were sick--just highlight what it was/is at School B. The number isolated on its own makes a bigger statement. By compacting everything into (3) sentences, you keep the focus tight on the two things that you are trying to emphasize: brain cancer and a 3.77 transfer GPA. IMO anything else is an unnecessary distraction. Perhaps a standard "medical documentation available upon request" at the bottom as a footer, though.

Congratulations, btw.

I agree keeping it shorter is better. Mentioning Moffitt is wise though, it is one of only a few National Cancer Centers, and THE cancer center in the region. Uni B is also one of the better uni's in the region. It ties it up nicely in terms of maintaining academic standards.

How about this:

As I mentioned in my personal statement, during the first (3) years of undergrad I struggled through a battle against ependymoma, a cancer that affects the brain and spine. Despite the challenges that surgery and treatment presented over that time period, I decided to remain enrolled as a full-time student throughout the course of my recovery. Being presented with such adversity only strengthened my commitment to academics. I transferred to Uni B to continue my studies whilst participating in a clinical trial at the Moffitt Cancer Center. After my cancer went into remission I was able to raise my overall GPA to a 3.1 by getting 3.77 in my degree courses as a transfer student at School B.

I wasn't aware of Moffitt, so you may be right in using a name drop. I think any edits at this point fall more into the realm of personal preference, but here's another take:

During the first (3) years of undergrad, I struggled through a battle against ependymoma, a cancer that affects the brain and spine. Despite the challenges that surgery and treatment presented over that time period, I decided to remain enrolled as a full-time student throughout the course of my recovery. After taking the opportunity to participate in a clinical research trial at the Moffitt Cancer Center, I decided to continue my studies at Uni B (--IMO makes it seem more like you sought out the opportunity to contribute to research as opposed "running" away from a bad GPA--). Soon after enrolling, my cancer finally went into remission. With the continued support of my family and friends, I earned a 3.77 GPA during my studies at Uni B.

[Dany]

I kind of like it longer because the subject matter is completely different from normal addenda, but whatever you do, make sure it doesn't sound casual. I'd stay away from abbreviating "undergraduate" to "undergrad" for the same reasons you don't use contractions - this is formal writing.

[Barbie]

Someone PM'd me a very interesting idea of including a bar graph (or line graph i guess) of the changes in GPA by semester, or I could do one with 2 : before and after. Do yall think thats a good idea?

[CanadianWolf]

No.

[Marionberry]

Someone PM'd me a very interesting idea of including a bar graph (or line graph i guess) of the changes in GPA by semester, or I could do one with 2 : before and after. Do yall think thats a good idea?

That suggestion was given to me by someone (consultant) who has been on a LS admissions committee, and served as a director of admissions at a T14 school, fwiw.

[Dany]

Someone PM'd me a very interesting idea of including a bar graph (or line graph i guess) of the changes in GPA by semester, or I could do one with 2 : before and after. Do yall think thats a good idea?

No, I think it's actually a pretty bad idea. Adcomms are intelligent enough to recognize the massive difference in your pre- and post-remission GPAs.

I just think it's going to look a bit like: "Just in case you didn't realize how much higher the 3.77 is, let me show you!"

I think adding a graph is just overkill. You have a wonderful PS, your GPA addendum is one of the most compelling I've seen, and I think you will be fine with it as is, without adding fluff like a graph. It's clear that you're a capable student when not dealing with a brain tumor, and adcomms will understand and appreciate that.

[Skyhook]

During the first (3) years of undergrad, I struggled through a battle against ependymoma, a cancer that affects the brain and spine. Despite the challenges that surgery and treatment presented over that time period, I decided to remain enrolled as a full-time student throughout the course of my recovery. After taking the opportunity to participate in a clinical research trial at the Moffitt Cancer Center, I decided to continue my studies at Uni B (--IMO makes it seem more like you sought out the opportunity to contribute to research as opposed "running" away from a bad GPA--). Soon after enrolling, my cancer finally went into remission. With the continued support of my family and friends, I earned a 3.77 GPA during my studies at Uni B.

Tricky one. Participation in clinical studies might involve frequent contact with the host institution.
Depends on how far Uni A is from Moffitt. It may have been impractical to do both Uni A and trial.
(Without knowing the nature of the research we cannot say the reason for joining the trial, and I would not state it anyway, it is superfluous.)

It seems like the bigger issue is that even though Barbie was undergoing treatment and had a legitimate reason to not study, she persevered and triumphed and got grades that show she is more than academically capable.

No to the bar graph.
It can be better stated, if you want to include more data, by [# of credits & average GPA before treatment] vs [# of credits & average GPA after treatment] vs [overall average].
It shows a clear progression that is not gimmicky.
Often graphs are used to hide data or give a false impression.
A clear statement of credits, GPAs pre and post is better IMO.

[Barbie]

Heres a few details that might bring clarity.

Uni A and Uni B are essentially the same ranking: big public schools. I moved to Uni B because Moffitt is pretty much the leading cancer center around here and does a lot of research. Apparently, only 6 people have EVER had my exact tumor, so I'm like a 6 legged horse to them. They want to see how my advanced treatment, etc, all have impact on a tumor that almost 100% of the time has returned in atleast 5 years. Because of that, I also get monthly 3 hour MRI's and spinal taps (FML). I'm not so much in a clinical trial, because I'm the only one of my kind...