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(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )
HopefullyLaw
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:24 pm

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Postby HopefullyLaw » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:29 pm

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Last edited by HopefullyLaw on Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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StrictlyLiable
Posts: 214
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:34 pm

Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby StrictlyLiable » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:36 pm

Did you steal the documents? How did they charge you with theft? Overall, it seems good though.

HopefullyLaw
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:24 pm

Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby HopefullyLaw » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:39 pm

I did not steal the documents personally. I received them via the postal service, which I admitted to the police before the arrest.

ARTfulDodger
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:57 am

Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby ARTfulDodger » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:47 pm

I like it. It's short and sweet. Nice job!

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StrictlyLiable
Posts: 214
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Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby StrictlyLiable » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:57 pm

Wow that's crazy they could charge you with theft for that. You weren't convicted right? In that case, it might not be necessary for the addendum if it isn't going to show up on your record.

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jtemp320
Posts: 481
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:27 pm

Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby jtemp320 » Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:58 pm

HopefullyLaw wrote:I did not steal the documents personally. I received them via the postal service, which I admitted to the police before the arrest.


Include this- it removes the question of what actions led directly to your arrest which the addendum raises in the readers mind.

I have to say, this addendum may be the rare one that adds something positive to your application - you took a personal risk to expose corruption and successfully did so - if you made any mistakes out of youthful enthusiasm you are willing to admit that but overall the incident reflects positively on you - at least from what you've written.

Good job

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StrictlyLiable
Posts: 214
Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:34 pm

Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby StrictlyLiable » Sat Aug 07, 2010 10:01 pm

jtemp320 wrote:
HopefullyLaw wrote:I did not steal the documents personally. I received them via the postal service, which I admitted to the police before the arrest.


Include this- it removes the question of what actions led directly to your arrest which the addendum raises in the readers mind.

I have to say, this addendum may be the rare one that adds something positive to your application - you took a personal risk to expose corruption and successfully did so - if you made any mistakes out of youthful enthusiasm you are willing to admit that but overall the incident reflects positively on you - at least from what you've written.

Good job



Agreed. I was left wondering what YOU personally did wrong. You might want to include this to show that the PD's charges were not appropriate and the whole reason it was ill-founded.

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SullaFelix
Posts: 113
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Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby SullaFelix » Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:42 am

HopefullyLaw wrote:Please offer any constructive criticism you have on the below addendum. I have yet to apply to law schools, but will be doing so soon. Thank you for your help.

Addendum
During the summer of 2006, I wrote a news story about corruption in the local police department. With a single-page document provided to me by a confidential source, I completely redacted all confidential information before publishing the material. The police department pressured me to disclose the name of my source, but I felt compelled to withhold the name because the promise I made to keep the individual’s name secret was my burden to bear. I exercised poor judgment when publishing the document even though it was a redacted copy.The police department waited until after I turned eighteen years old and then arrested me with the charge of theft in the fifth degree. Two days after I was arrested and released, the police chief was fired in a public city council meeting. The next month brought the resignation of another police officer that was involved with the corruption. The charge was eventually dropped and the name of my source was kept secret. The county attorney made the application for dismissal of the charge and the county magistrate dismissed the charge.


Good stuff. A couple suggestions:

I would strike that bit in the middle I put a line through. You have a great story, that's best transmitted and will likely have the greatest impact written as succinctly, straightforward and unemotionally as possible. Let the "poor judgment" call be the view of someone else; chances are many readers won't have that take, so why put it in their head?

I would also include the name of the newspaper somewhere. I feel it would provide the writeup with a bit more factual certainty.

HopefullyLaw
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:24 pm

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Postby HopefullyLaw » Sun Aug 08, 2010 1:10 pm

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Last edited by HopefullyLaw on Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bumi
Posts: 947
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2010 4:57 pm

Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby Bumi » Sun Aug 08, 2010 1:32 pm

I like the new one better.

I think you did the right thing, and in fact I wish I could put this addendum on my application.

HopefullyLaw
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:24 pm

Re: Please Offer Constructive Criticism - Addendum

Postby HopefullyLaw » Sun Aug 08, 2010 1:46 pm

I appreciate the help. If schools don't ask about any legal troubles other than convictions, should I include this addendum or not? Thank you!




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