My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

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blackhawk1
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My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby blackhawk1 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 4:59 pm

...
Last edited by blackhawk1 on Tue Jul 27, 2010 6:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

beeasy
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby beeasy » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:01 pm

Do I smell a flame?

Doubt she would leave you after knowing you for 8 years. I could understand if it were a short-lived relationship

handlebutton
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby handlebutton » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:05 pm

flame

sumus romani
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby sumus romani » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:05 pm

You are going to get absolutely no sympathy here. First, because you are a flame. Second, even if you are not, this is a website dedicated to getting into and succeeding in top law schools.

sibley
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby sibley » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:06 pm

I'm leaving for a school 6 hours away and am depressed about being away from my boyfriend for over a month at a time. Going from living with someone to living 2 or 3 states away sucks.

I feel a little better. Thanks for the piggyback.

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sundevil77
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby sundevil77 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:07 pm

...

If this is for real, I don't know that the internet, much less TLS, is the place to search for an answer. You probably need some professional counseling and/or familial help.

FWIW: As a married student, I can't imagine moving away from my spouse for 3 years. I think that can only weaken a marriage. You go into marriage as an equal partner. When I applied to law school, I had to taken into consideration the wants and needs of my spouse. Those same considerations should have been and still need to be taken into account.

On another side note, if your wife truly wants to come back and work where you're at, why is she spending $$$$ and leveraging your future on an expensive legal education??? Financially it makes a zillion times more sense to get a full-ride to a local school. By going to a top 5 school, she is practically guaranteed to need to work in a big city after graduation.
Last edited by sundevil77 on Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

thorntll
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby thorntll » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:08 pm

My parents lived 1300 miles away from each other for the first 10 years of my life, and they've been together 30+ years now. Just sayin'. It can be done.

seasurf
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby seasurf » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:09 pm

sumus romani wrote:You are going to get absolutely no sympathy here. First, because you are a flame. Second, even if you are not, this is a website dedicated to getting into and succeeding in top law schools.


+1

If your not a flame, tough break.... but it seems like you already her if she decided to go. accept it, move on and be happy

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sundevil77
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby sundevil77 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:09 pm

sumus romani wrote:You are going to get absolutely no sympathy here. First, because you are a flame. Second, even if you are not, this is a website dedicated to getting into and succeeding in top law schools.


To be fair, I'm not sure this site is entirely dedicated to that purpose. There is a lot of bull thrown around on this site. This is not the first nor the last time that a personal question has come up on here.

But as I already said, if this is actually real, this is not the place to go looking for advice. The internet is filled with too many douches for personal stuff. That Dear Abby junk is more suited for this.

czelede
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby czelede » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:10 pm

sundevil77 wrote:On another side note, if your wife truly wants to come back and work where you're at, why is she spending $$$$ and leveraging your future on an expensive legal education??? Financially it makes a zillion times more sense to get a full-ride to a local school. By going to a top 5 school, she is practically guaranteed to need to work in a big city after graduation.


This is a good point.

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DelDad
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby DelDad » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:12 pm

Assuming a real post, it seems like following her would be important to preserving the marriage. I basically followed my wife for her medical training; it was hard enough to go through residency while living in the same house; marriage really would have suffered if we'd been on different coasts for that time.

Is there a compromise available? Could you move and use some of your savings to travel back to see your family relatively regularly, rather than put it all towards her first year tuition?
Last edited by DelDad on Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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SwollenMonkey
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby SwollenMonkey » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:12 pm

blackhawk1 wrote:I need words of wisdom or advice. My wife just got off the waitlist of a top 5 law school. I don't want her know I am writing this, so I am not going to say which exact school or where we are exactly from. We also live about 2000 miles away from this law school. She took her LSATs, did real well and applied. I thought she was going to apply for a local school and attend for free.

Now she is leaving in two weeks for law school. We have only been married three years and been together for 8 years. I wish I could move, but bc of a medical problem with my family, I can't. I am not as smart as her. I have a good paying job, but nothing that great. I am not smart enouph to go to law school, medical school or business school. I think I am going to lose her. She says she is going to come back after law school. She says she wants to live where we live now and have a family. After she goes to x law school, I think she is not going to want to come back to bumblefck america. I want her to be happy, but I feel like I restrict her from achieving her dreams. We are now going to use the money we saved for having a family and buying a home for her first year tuition. She says she will take out a loan for the following two years.

I want to have a family soon, but I know that is not going to happen. I have a feeling she is going to meet another law student and not want to come back to me. I will visit her, but realistically, its going to be once every 6-10 weeks. She is already talking about firms to intern with in the summer in big cities. I can feel her slipping away from me.

Has anybody else been in this situation? How can I make sure I keep her? I really dont want to lose her. I am very depressed and do not know what to do.


Fucking homo.

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Barbie
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby Barbie » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:13 pm

My long-term boyfriend and I are compromising when choosing a law school (he is coming with me). So going really far away isn't an option, and we are deciding on cities that would benefit us both. Obviously her goal isn't to live in that town and raise a family, but rather to become a successful lawyer. Since you have very different near-future goals, things will probably be very rough. If you genuinely feel she is the one for you, then you have to stick it out. The person you should be discussing your concerns with is her, not TLS, though. She is the only one that can put you at ease. Remember, though, that a marriage is a compromise. She has to be willing to sacrifice a little bit for you, as you are willing to do so for her.

sibley
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby sibley » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:14 pm

Barbie wrote:My long-term boyfriend and I are compromising when choosing a law school (he is coming with me). So going really far away isn't an option, and we are deciding on cities that would benefit us both. Obviously her goal isn't to live in that town and raise a family, but rather to become a successful lawyer. Since you have very different near-future goals, things will probably be very rough. If you genuinely feel she is the one for you, then you have to stick it out. The person you should be discussing your concerns with is her, not TLS, though. She is the only one that can put you at ease. Remember, though, that a marriage is a compromise. She has to be willing to sacrifice a little bit for you, as you are willing to do so for her.


I picked a school that was ranked 1 less than my other top choice simply because of the ease of getting to my SO. Compromise is the name of the game, flamebutt.

blackhawk1
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby blackhawk1 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:20 pm

czelede wrote:
sundevil77 wrote:On another side note, if your wife truly wants to come back and work where you're at, why is she spending $$$$ and leveraging your future on an expensive legal education??? Financially it makes a zillion times more sense to get a full-ride to a local school. By going to a top 5 school, she is practically guaranteed to need to work in a big city after graduation.


This is a good point.


We live 2+ hours away from a medium sized city. She says she will work there so we can be close to our parents. I want to convince her otherwise, but she got off the wait list two weeks ago and her heart is set on it. She is so happy and excited about going. She says she we can start a family 6-8 years down the road, it just seems so long.

maybe other people are right that this forum is not the best way to vent my marriage problems. how can I delete this post? I cant figure it out

awesomepossum
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby awesomepossum » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:25 pm

best flame ever.

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Patriot1208
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby Patriot1208 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:26 pm

Well if this is serious...

She's going to leave you

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sundevil77
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby sundevil77 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:26 pm

blackhawk1 wrote:
czelede wrote:
sundevil77 wrote:On another side note, if your wife truly wants to come back and work where you're at, why is she spending $$$$ and leveraging your future on an expensive legal education??? Financially it makes a zillion times more sense to get a full-ride to a local school. By going to a top 5 school, she is practically guaranteed to need to work in a big city after graduation.


This is a good point.


We live 2+ hours away from a medium sized city. She says she will work there so we can be close to our parents. I want to convince her otherwise, but she got off the wait list two weeks ago and her heart is set on it. She is so happy and excited about going. She says she we can start a family 6-8 years down the road, it just seems so long.

maybe other people are right that this forum is not the best way to vent my marriage problems. how can I delete this post? I cant figure it out


Click on "edit." Then delete whatever you've written. You can also ask other people to delete anything they have quoted that you've written. Just let 'em know.

GermX
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby GermX » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:28 pm

What is this medical problem. You should be able to go with her.

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Patriot1208
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby Patriot1208 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:30 pm

GermX wrote:What is this medical problem. You should be able to go with her.


I hate to say this as well, but if it's you taking care of your parents, nut up and get off the tit. Your spouse comes first.

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hopefulapp
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby hopefulapp » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:32 pm

My long-term boyfriend and I are compromising when choosing a law school (he is coming with me)

:roll: Your phrasing made me smile

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vanwinkle
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby vanwinkle » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:33 pm

SwollenMonkey wrote:Fucking homo.

Image

awesomepossum
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby awesomepossum » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:36 pm

awesomepossum wrote:best flame ever.

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sundevil77
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby sundevil77 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:41 pm

awesomepossum wrote:
awesomepossum wrote:best flame ever.


Just wondering...why would this be a flame if OP deleted his original comments?

Shouldn't a "flamer" be proud of his/her flame?

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let/them/eat/cake
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Re: My wife is going to a top 5 law school and I am depressed

Postby let/them/eat/cake » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:42 pm

Patriot1208 wrote:Well if this is serious...

She's going to leave you


and if she does, get half that tuition money from 1L back. FUCK that noise.

if she doesn't, dude, let her be you're sugar mama. All you gotta do is take care of dem' kids, man (I know you heard Obama).




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