GPA Addendum - Sample

(Applications Advice, Letters of Recommendation . . . )
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Janus
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby Janus » Thu May 20, 2010 5:02 pm

I made a revision in the other forum you posted to. I agree with these posters though. This should be your personal statement if you want the adcomms to know about it. It is too long and too flowery for an addendum. This IS what you use your personal statement for. I really can't imagine what you wrote in your personal statement that could be more important to talk about. You'll probably need several revisions (most people do) but you've got a nice framework.

I don't think people are saying that your situation isn't a valid reason for why your GPA was really low, of course it's a valid reason. I would caution you from saying that other or most people can't overcome similar odds. I would refrain from making judgements about others and only speak to you situation in your statement. (You didn't write this in there and I wouldn't add it.)

Again, hopefully, this is helpful.

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clintonius
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby clintonius » Thu May 20, 2010 5:04 pm

d34dluk3 wrote:I'm calling flame on this.

yup.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:04 pm

Edited for obvious reasons
Last edited by recaldo on Thu May 20, 2010 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:05 pm

Janus wrote:I made a revision in the other forum you posted to. I agree with these posters though. This should be your personal statement if you want the adcomms to know about it. It is too long and too flowery for an addendum. This IS what you use your personal statement for. I really can't imagine what you wrote in your personal statement that could be more important to talk about. You'll probably need several revisions (most people do) but you've got a nice framework.

I don't think people are saying that your situation isn't a valid reason for why your GPA was really low, of course it's a valid reason. I would caution you from saying that other or most people can't overcome similar odds. I would refrain from making judgements about others and only speak to you situation in your statement. (You didn't write this in there and I wouldn't add it.)

Again, hopefully, this is helpful.


Yes. Thank You.

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kalvano
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby kalvano » Thu May 20, 2010 5:06 pm

recaldo wrote:
kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:
kalvano wrote:I'm saying it's poorly written, far too long for what it is, and that it won't help you all that much.


lol. taking advice from you would be dangerous.



Sorry it sucks. Try harder next time.


Have fun at Lewis and Clark.




Have fun in a depressed, fragile-psyche personal hell.


Also, accepted doesn't mean attending. It's an important distinction you should probably become familiar with.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:07 pm

clintonius wrote:
d34dluk3 wrote:I'm calling flame on this.

yup.


Flame on what? Are you saying I am lying in the statement or thats not my statement?

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:12 pm

Edited for obvious reasons
Last edited by recaldo on Thu May 20, 2010 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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KingJames6
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby KingJames6 » Thu May 20, 2010 5:14 pm

Dude, what part don't you get? It's an addendum, not a 60 minutes segment. Cut the drama out and talk about your GPA. This stuff is intense-write about it in your PS, not a GPA addendum.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:15 pm

KingJames6 wrote:Dude, what part don't you get? It's an addendum, not a 60 minutes segment. Cut the drama out and talk about your GPA. This stuff is intense-write about it in your PS, not a GPA addendum.


I do understand that. What makes you think I don't?

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KingJames6
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby KingJames6 » Thu May 20, 2010 5:16 pm

Everything creepy Ronald McDonald man told you is legit. Take away the sarcasm/slight asshole tendency and you have bona fide advice. We all suggest you take it.

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Bert
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby Bert » Thu May 20, 2010 5:19 pm

recaldo wrote:Have fun at Lewis and Clark.




Have fun in a depressed, fragile-psyche personal hell.


Also, accepted doesn't mean attending. It's an important distinction you should probably become familiar with.[/quote]


Have fun learning reading comprehension at Lewis and Clerk Law School. If you read it correctly, you would see that "I am over it." You would also be able to take something away from the story rather than the most basic, physical understanding. But I guess that's one step above L&C Law School.[/quote]

EDIT: ^^^sorry about that quote fail - can't get it right because it was wrong to begin with.

So, now I know you are an orphan and are over it (neither of which I learned from your addendum because I lost interest about twenty words in). Anyway, your "addendum" is really bizarre for an addendum, and I think that is what people are trying to tell you.
Last edited by Bert on Thu May 20, 2010 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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kalvano
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby kalvano » Thu May 20, 2010 5:20 pm

recaldo wrote:Have fun learning reading comprehension at Lewis and Clerk Law School. If you read it correctly, you would see that "I am over it." You would also be able to take something away from the story rather than the most basic, physical understanding. But I guess that's one step above L&C Law School.



Are you really bashing my reading comprehension when you apparently missed the big giant flashing "I'm not going to L&C"?

Credit for being the angriest flame I've seen in a while.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:24 pm

Bert wrote:
recaldo wrote:Have fun at Lewis and Clark.




Have fun in a depressed, fragile-psyche personal hell.


Also, accepted doesn't mean attending. It's an important distinction you should probably become familiar with.



Have fun learning reading comprehension at Lewis and Clerk Law School. If you read it correctly, you would see that "I am over it." You would also be able to take something away from the story rather than the most basic, physical understanding. But I guess that's one step above L&C Law School.[/quote]

So, now I know you are an orphan and are over it (neither of which I learned from your addendum because I lost interest about twenty words in). Anyway, your "addendum" is really bizarre for an addendum, and I think that is what people are trying to tell you.[/quote]

I know what some people are trying to tell me. I am not disputing that it is improper for an addendum. I had no idea the format of an addendum. Now I do.

I am disputing other things people are trying to tell me, things that you have neglected to take notice of because you don't read closely - ppl are disputing quality of writing, inferences, etc. You don't know about these because you didn't read the piece. This makes sense, as you didn't read the forum posts either to determine what exactly was going on here.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:26 pm

Kalvano's criticisms are not legit. Sorry. He is not someone to take advice from anyway.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:27 pm

kalvano wrote:
recaldo wrote:Have fun learning reading comprehension at Lewis and Clerk Law School. If you read it correctly, you would see that "I am over it." You would also be able to take something away from the story rather than the most basic, physical understanding. But I guess that's one step above L&C Law School.



Are you really bashing my reading comprehension when you apparently missed the big giant flashing "I'm not going to L&C"?

Credit for being the angriest flame I've seen in a while.


Credit for being NALP's example case for how people fare out of law school with debt and no job.

Edit: What exactly is the flame here? That is something else you are wrong about. I am not taking advice from someone with a shitty application history , poor education, and incorrect assumptions(the flame) , I'm sorry you just are lacking and your clients will think so too.
Last edited by recaldo on Thu May 20, 2010 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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hotdog123
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby hotdog123 » Thu May 20, 2010 5:28 pm

Kalvano's points are 100% true and on target.

Man up and take his advice, if you still can.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:30 pm

DonnyMost wrote:Kalvano's points are 100% true and on target.

Man up and take his advice, if you still can.


Donny, what is his advice?

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kalvano
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby kalvano » Thu May 20, 2010 5:32 pm

Since you're apparently unable to master the delicate intricacies of the quote button, I'll spare you that torment.

I did read it, and the quality of writing is not good. It sounds like a high school freshman who thinks big words compensate for lack of direction and clarity. For instance, you use the term "orphan", but you don't meet the criteria, nor do you provide any reason for putting it in there. You have no real direction, the point of the writing is hazy at best, and come off as more than slightly delicate, which isn't a good way to present yourself.

The piece needs a total overhaul, whether it's a GPA addendum or a personal statement. It's muddled, doesn't make the case you are trying to make, and sounds like you spent more time with a thesaurus than actually trying to write.

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kalvano
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby kalvano » Thu May 20, 2010 5:33 pm

recaldo wrote:Credit for being NALP's example case for how people fare out of law school with debt and no job.

Edit: What exactly is the flame here? That is something else you are wrong about. I am not taking advice from someone with a shitty application history , poor education, and incorrect assumptions(the flame) , I'm sorry you just are lacking and your clients will think so too.



I'm laughing at you, not with you.

You can't even insult me in a clear and direct manner.

I'm going to stick with flame, possibly an alt.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:35 pm

kalvano wrote:Since you're apparently unable to master the delicate intricacies of the quote button, I'll spare you that torment.

I did read it, and the quality of writing is not good. It sounds like a high school freshman who thinks big words compensate for lack of direction and clarity. For instance, you use the term "orphan", but you don't meet the criteria, nor do you provide any reason for putting it in there. You have no real direction, the point of the writing is hazy at best, and come off as more than slightly delicate, which isn't a good way to present yourself.

The piece needs a total overhaul, whether it's a GPA addendum or a personal statement. It's muddled, doesn't make the case you are trying to make, and sounds like you spent more time with a thesaurus than actually trying to write.



Kalvano, please post here your personal statement or your writing sample to show us what good writing is? Thank you.

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kalvano
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby kalvano » Thu May 20, 2010 5:36 pm

Image

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bk1
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby bk1 » Thu May 20, 2010 5:37 pm

recaldo wrote:Kalvano's criticisms are not legit. Sorry. He is not someone to take advice from anyway.


You do realize that you antagonized him first, don't you? You brought his negativity upon yourself with the way you responded. Anyways, an ad hom attack in no way invalidates his advice.

He is right in saying that the format of your addendum is not going to help you, that if you want it to help your application you need to reformat it or make this the topic in your PS.

recaldo
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby recaldo » Thu May 20, 2010 5:37 pm

Edited for obvious reasons
Last edited by recaldo on Thu May 20, 2010 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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hotdog123
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby hotdog123 » Thu May 20, 2010 5:38 pm

recaldo wrote:
kalvano wrote:Since you're apparently unable to master the delicate intricacies of the quote button, I'll spare you that torment.

I did read it, and the quality of writing is not good. It sounds like a high school freshman who thinks big words compensate for lack of direction and clarity. For instance, you use the term "orphan", but you don't meet the criteria, nor do you provide any reason for putting it in there. You have no real direction, the point of the writing is hazy at best, and come off as more than slightly delicate, which isn't a good way to present yourself.

The piece needs a total overhaul, whether it's a GPA addendum or a personal statement. It's muddled, doesn't make the case you are trying to make, and sounds like you spent more time with a thesaurus than actually trying to write.



Kalvano, please post here your personal statement or your writing sample to show us what good writing is? Thank you.


This is not how you go about soliciting advice on this BBS.

You posted a piece asking people to critique it, they did, so don't get butthurt when somebody rips it.

Take his advice, condense it, remove the hyperbole, stick to facts. Don't try to tell a story.

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Bert
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Re: GPA Addendum - Sample

Postby Bert » Thu May 20, 2010 5:39 pm

recaldo wrote:I know what some people are trying to tell me. I am not disputing that it is improper for an addendum. I had no idea the format of an addendum. Now I do.

I am disputing other things people are trying to tell me, things that you have neglected to take notice of because you don't read closely - ppl are disputing quality of writing, inferences, etc. You don't know about these because you didn't read the piece. This makes sense, as you didn't read the forum posts either to determine what exactly was going on here.


1 - you have this whole forum here, full of buttons and boxes that allow you to search for content. You have no excuse for not knowing what an addendum is or should be.

2 - I am not guilty of not reading closely, and I didn't neglect to take notice of anything. Saying that implies I at least paid some attention to your addendum which is completely untrue because it is a horrible "addendum". Maybe its salvageable for a PS, but not an addendum.

3 - While Kalvano may be coming off a little brash, K is right.
Last edited by Bert on Thu May 20, 2010 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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