Personal Statement Samples

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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OnlyLivingBoyinNY
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:09 am

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby OnlyLivingBoyinNY » Thu Mar 10, 2011 5:06 pm

erikordos wrote: Like the LAN party, college was a learning experience. It was an opportunity for me to meet new insightful individuals whose knowledge far exceeded my own. Like Matt and the rest of the party goers that night, these individuals, my instructors, gave me a foundation in legal studies. Once again I am enamored, except this time it is not a computer I seek to upgrade, it is myself. I want to assume a level of legal sophistication similar to that displaced by my college professors. Attending University of Baltimore School of Law is the means to accomplish my goal.


Sorry, just a small error there. I like the concept behind this essay. You build computers, and that is something extraordinary that, I presume, few law school applicants can do. It feels like an afterthought, though. You spend a lot of time talking about how you got inspired, but I don't think that is as important as your inspiration itself. What I mean to say is that the LAN party isn't extraordinary--its what you learned to do that is. Your essay needs to be focused a little differently so that building computers seems less like an afterthought. Also, it is rather long--2.5 pages single spaced.

JJDancer
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Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:41 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby JJDancer » Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:01 am

Personal Statement Sample:

LSAT: 168 (Sept 09) 167 (Oct 10)
GPA: 3.7x
Non-URM
Attending: USC ($$$)
Accepted: UCLA ($), Illinois UIUC ($$$), WUSTL ($$$$), GW, UGA ($), Cornell (withdrew before $ determined), Minnesota ($$$), UT Austin ($$), Loyola LA ($$$)
Waitlisted: BU

“I’m not letting you back in the United States,” threatened the immigration officer. My heart was pounding and tears began to sneak their way down my cheeks. My mother clutched my hand tightly, attempting to offer reassurance. However, she too was terrified that the new life we had started in America just a few months prior would be snatched away. We had come from New Delhi, India to New York to fulfill our dream of living together. Though it meant I had to sleep in the living room and my mother had to walk me four miles to and from school, my father’s new job represented the first opportunity our family had to spend time together on a daily basis. Until then, I had only been able to see my father, who was a sea captain, every six months.

My father tried his best to hide his fear and frustration as he pleaded with the officer. “I was transferred to the New York office of my company. They are expecting me back at work. We have done everything legally.” “I don’t believe you. I don’t think your intentions are good,” the officer scowled back. I had never heard anyone speak to my father this way before. My fear of never returning to New York was replaced by bewilderment and anger that someone would doubt my father, a man with more integrity than anyone I knew.

Ultimately, we returned to New York with the help of lawyers from my father’s company, who demonstrated our innocence. As a ten-year-old, I had been helpless the day the immigration officer treated my family’s future recklessly. However, my memory of the lawyers successfully resolving our case stayed with me for years. This early experience showed me that law and a legal education were tools to correct injustices.

In the wake of September 11, 2001, I feared for my father’s life each time he boarded a plane. However, as time passed, I realized he was less likely to be the victim of a terrorist attack than he was to be a victim of prejudice and unfair treatment at airports. My father was often singled out at airports to be thoroughly searched, most likely due to the Sikh religiously mandated beard and turban he donned. To Sikhs, removing one’s turban in public is as humiliating as publicly being searched naked. In fact, the Hindi phrase for losing one’s turban is also used to describe losing one’s respect and dignity. I wanted to protect public safety, but knew there had to be an option that also allowed people to preserve their dignity.

During college, my activism with Sikh civil rights organizations such as YY and ZZ allowed me to empower my religious community with legal knowledge. These groups collaborated with the Transportation and Security Administration to offer an alternative to removing one’s turban. Yet, at my gurdwara (Sikh place of worship) I heard of countless people still being forced to publicly remove their turbans for screening. They were distraught, but feared the repercussions of disobeying a TSA official’s commands. It was apparent that changing the regulation was not enough. When I realized that Sikhs needed to be made aware of their rights, I packed my bags and traveled to gurdwaras across multiple states disseminating information on the revised TSA regulations, their implications for Sikhs and avenues for recourse. It was rewarding to see how my work had empowered individuals in my community to invoke their rights and thereby evade unjust treatment and degradation.

I also became aware of cases where the law did not accurately represent the American ideals of freedom and equality. The arcane Oregon state law banning teachers from displaying articles of faith in schools was not only discriminatory, but also prevented dedicated teachers from serving Oregon’s students. I had seen the devastating effects of teacher shortages during my previous internship with the XYZ city Public Schools. I cherished the opportunity to effect change on this important issue from a legal perspective. Although the law only applied to one state, I knew national awareness would be a catalyst for change. I grabbed my laptop and began reaching out to other religious organizations. Together, we launched a nation-wide letter writing campaign that inundated the Governor’s office and garnered the attention of national media. On April 1, 2010, the law was repealed, illustrating that our humble grassroots efforts had an impact.

My early exposure to the power of the law and knowledge thereof to correct injustice inspired my activism. I haven’t forgotten the fear I experienced as a child the day the immigration officer unjustly treated my family. It is the same fear felt by thousands of turbaned Sikhs who pass through airport security and millions of people who enter the legal system each year. As an attorney, I will be able to dedicate my time and skills to advocating for these clients. I hope to provide effective legal counsel while pursuing improvements and changes within the legal system as a whole. A legal education will equip me with vital tools to advance justice and equality on a national scale.

TannerRobinson
Posts: 31
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2011 2:36 am

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby TannerRobinson » Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:56 am

LSAT: 158 (oct 10) 167 (dec 10)
GPA: 3.8
Non-URM
Attending: SMU ($$$)
Accepted: TWU ($$)


A Ukranian mother and her daughter are persuaded of a better life they can lead in Western Europe, only to be enslaved in a brothel in Germany by the person they most trusted. A Nepalese woman is kidnapped and taken to Japan to perform in a men’s club against her will. Dozens of poor Mexican men are smuggled into the U.S. to work in a factory where they thought they would be paid well but instead are forced to labor in barely livable conditions for months scared for their lives. These real life situations are the reason I have chosen to pursue a law education. I am called to use my gifts in academics, business, and even music to bring about change in our global community and attaining a law degree from a distinguished institution is one of the first of many steps along the way.

The issue of Human Trafficking was the final flame that exploded my interest in law. The first spark was in a more unlikely situation with a record deal negotiation. While attending Dallas Baptist University in my Undergraduate degree of Music Business, I wrote for, recorded, performed in and co-managed a rock band. We are still well known in the Dallas-Fort Worth area but have long since disbanded after a disappointing contract negotiation with a record label. Though it was my first taste of legal contract deliberations, I lead my bandmates in precuring a lawyer, communicating with the label rep, as well as interpreting and researching the contract. Had I not used my knowledge gained while receiving academic recognitions at DBU to understand the negative legal implications of many of the contract’s nuances (the record label’s options scheme, the controlled composition clauses) we surely would have signed on the dotted line. I found that I loved using the language of law and collaborating to construct a powerful document. This showed me that I had the intellectual capability, communicative profiency and leadership skills to guide a company in a legal matter.

When I left this project for moral reasons, I saw a future in law after I finished my Undergraduate degree. I envisioned a new entreprenurial venture: a non-profit record label that would support humanitarian, anti-slavery organizations and causes. This was partially inspired by my service to three other non-profit organizations: TOMS Shoes, To Write Love On Her Arms, and Invisible Children. I performed and helped organize benefit concerts for these causes while performing with my band. These concerts had tangible impact on the teens and young adults that attended them and the causes they benefitted. That outcome taught me the positive impact and power inspirational music can have, if it is put to good use. I aim to start this label to fund recordings and tours for artists that believe in that power as well. Studying contract, business and international law will help me structure and manage this vision effectively and will also provide financiers assurance of my expertise. I also will have the option of obtain a job in the field of law to finance the venture as well.

This has become my greatest desire, and I have sought guidance from spiritual and family mentors, all of whom encouraged me to go to law school at nearby institution such as the SMU Dedman School of Law. In researching this school further, I found it was one of the most respected programs in the world right here in my back yard. Considering its eminent reputation, prestigious international law program, and its convenient location, I decided that SMU would be a great fit . One can see that because of my connections in the area, my strong determination to fulfill my call in impacting the world, and my academic ability, I will succeed at SMU Dedman School of Law.

czelede
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Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2010 1:54 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby czelede » Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:41 am

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Last edited by czelede on Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Eichörnchen
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Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby Eichörnchen » Fri Jun 24, 2011 4:09 pm

Jes wrote:Anyone is willing to critique my personal statement, shoot me a message please =)

ccnorm wrote:I could use some serious critiques on my PS. I've been working on it for a few days, but it needs some more work. Rip it to shreds please, thank you!

Ten minutes pass...

Firework11 wrote:Please PM to review my Personal Statement, I need all the help I may get!

Thank you for your time!

Best of luck to everyone :D
Eponymous wrote:“with a seemingly generational cycle”

-- rather opaque prose


“hovering over my head like a dark, stormy could.”

-- “could” = “cloud” ? more important: How does a “cycle” hover?


“Both of my parents were adopted, I’ve never met my father whom has been fully incarcerated since I was 6, & I was born to a single teenage mother at her age of 14.”

1. How is your parents’ status as “adopted” part of a cycle? This would be a “cycle” if your parents had given up children born too early/out of wedlock FOR adoption.

2. You do know that “whom” is never used as a subject, right?

3. very run-on sentence[s]
[blah blah unwarranted critique]... I actually like this ending. Suggest that you set up the idea of “twinkling” and/or “brightness” earlier in the essay.

bagels24 wrote:I recently completed my PS. I really do not want to post it because it is very personal. I was wondering if someone would be kind enough to let me PM them and critique it for me.

Thanks!

Am I going crazy, or is this supposed to be a SAMPLE THREAD? GTFO with your asking for people to edit your essay and stop critiquing people's essays here. THERE IS A WHOLE FORUM AT YOUR DISPOSAL FOR CRITIQUING. This thread was an awesome idea, and would be an awesome resource if it was not inundated with this crap. STOP IT.

mbeck00
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2011 4:28 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby mbeck00 » Sun Aug 07, 2011 4:50 pm

Since the resources on TLS have been invaluable to me I have decided to share the personal statement I submitted.

GPA: 3.2
LSAT: 160
Applied & Accepted to: Loyola Chicago, IIT - Kent, John Marshall
Attending: IIT - Kent

I also have a good amount of work experience with a resume that highlights what I have achieved since my undergraduate degree which is most likely why I was accepted even with my comparably low GPA & LSAT scores.

Best if luck to all and I hope this helps.

"F" is for Experience
There is a mentality that has propagated itself throughout Silicon Valley, it is to glorify failure. I have never been afraid of failure, that is not to say that I enjoy failure, but rather that failure, like success, is the inevitable byproduct of experimentation and innovation. Like strips of Kimberlite, failure is the sea of darkness enveloping the rare sparkles of diamonds hidden within it. With every inch of digging for success and with every ounce of Kimberlite that yields no diamonds I am able to gain something more valuable than the pot at the end of the rainbow, experience.


("Company"), Inc. was my first venture. Started in 2006 as a pet project, it evolved into something that I did not think was possible. It is not the greatest of success stories, the industry in which we operate would be considered a micro-niche. It has, however, rewarded me with knowledge, understanding and opportunities that would not otherwise have been possible.


I began by working from home, developing a business plan with all that it entails, researching the industry, identifying vendors and learning what technology would be necessary to bring the project to life. Between full-time employment as an accountant, a full college course-load and nurturing a business in its infancy my abilities and sanity were undoubtedly strained. The difficulty of bringing life to a business, of creating something from what was essentially nothing, seemed only to inspire me further. It was the intricate mix of marketing, creative design, psychology, technology, development and operations management that continued to intrigue me the further I delved into e-commerce. The complex chemistry between the aforementioned factors at times seemed more like alchemy than science, but it was for this very reason that I continued on.


Much of what I have learned, and continue to learn, from my mistakes has resulted in not only an increased business acumen, but also personal growth. It was the process of learning proper start-up structure such as incorporating a business and trade-marking critical business assets in order to protect the brand that taught me to trust outside input. It was the ordeal of negotiating contracts with vendors that proved to me the value of understanding and consideration of opposing opinions. It was the process of building an e-commerce store, from software platform selection to coding and content creation, which revealed the indispensability of project management.


My determination to succeed never amounted to a wildly successful business venture, but it did open doors to opportunities which would otherwise have been impossible. I have had the honor of working with industry leaders, collecting a “C” level list of contacts that has afforded me chances to consult on product development and discuss industry-wide issues such as information privacy, security pitfalls and intellectual property disputes.


My experience has also led me to an important revelation. There is a very real necessity for legal professionals who understand the unique e-commerce ecosystem, still in its formative years, which is unlike any other corporate landscape. It is also this experience that has steered me towards the field of law. The junction where corporate, intellectual property and product liability law merge is now often found in the world of e-commerce. It is my utmost intention to apply my knowledge and understanding of e-commerce, internet technology, computer science and business operations to a general counsel role. I feel that my formal education and work experience in finance collectively with my entrepreneurial experience in e-commerce has prepared me for the rigors of studying law at the IIT-Chicago Kent College of Law. I also believe that my unique understanding of internet technologies and e-commerce operations will be a valuable contribution to the program. I appreciate your consideration and look forward to beginning my legal career at IIT Kent.

ethan11
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2011 1:53 am

Re:

Postby ethan11 » Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:04 am

Globelle wrote:LSAT: 169
GPA: 4.02
Accepted: at the only school to which I applied
(note: the school doesn't take CVs, and the application form is very basic, so the statement has to take on a bit of a CV role)

I hold a BA with Honours in International Relations from XXX University, and an MA in History from XXX University. Although I grew up in the small town of XXX, I have had the chance to live and study in several countries including Brazil, China, Tunisia, and, presently, Peru. My husband and I have been living in southern Peru with our two young sons for the past year, through his work as a mining engineer. Now that our children are getting older, I have decided to return to my studies and pursue my LLB. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you a few of the things I believe I will bring to UBC Law.

Academic Excellence and Diversity
I have excelled throughout my academic career. I received numerous academic scholarships including the XXX Scholarship, the XXX Summer Research Fellowship, the XXX Scholar Award, and a full, two-year XXX University Graduate Fellowship. Upon completing my Honours BA in International Relations at XXX University, I was awarded the XXX Prize for highest general average in the BA program, and the XXX Gold Medal for the highest record in all subjects contributing to a BA with Honours. I speak fluent Spanish and Portuguese, functional French, and basic Mandarin Chinese. I have pursued an interdisciplinary focus throughout my studies. My BA program included courses in Economics, Geography, History, Political Studies, and Religious Studies, and I minored in Hispanic Studies. During my MA, I lived at the interdisciplinary graduate residence of XXX, and my thesis on the Second World War in Macau was informed by varied political, cultural, and multilingual elements. I will be able to draw upon my strong foundation in a wide range of academic disciplines during my studies at UBC Law.

Commitment and Discipline
Six years of university, my varied work history and my experience as a mother have honed my sense of self-discipline. I undertake all endeavors fully and wholeheartedly. My decision to study law at UBC is not taken lightly and I believe I have the drive to succeed.

Community Spirit
Member community involvement is of great importance to any institution not only in providing the foundation for long-term connections between its members and enhancing their experiences, but also to shape the institution's identity. Wherever I live or study, I make it a priority to be involved and active in the community. During my BA, I chaired the Spanish Club, worked as Head Copy Editor at the university newspaper, sang in university choirs, and hosted the Amnesty International radio show on campus radio. While working on my MA, I took part in [my college's] theatrical and musical groups, served on the College's Membership Committee, and sang with the XXX (professional) Women's Choir. Wherever we have lived recently, I have been steadily involved in mother's groups, playgroups, and at-home preschool. In Peru, I have led fundraising and volunteering initiatives to provide new beds to a local home for street children, new pumps for their well, and free English lessons with retired schoolteachers who currently live in the community.

A Unique Perspective
Throughout my adult life, I have had diverse experiences which have shaped my perspective toward relationships, work, academia, and the human condition. I traveled North America in a motor home for a year with my family, lived in Brazil for a one-year student exchange, worked as a truck-stop waitress in rural Manitoba, assisted with research on China's small-scale gold mining industry, and kept house for an archaeological excavation in Tunisia. Every experience I've had in Canada and abroad, in work and in study, has shown me a wide range of people, opinions, experiences, and realities. Becoming a mother, and spending time with other mothers young and old, wealthy and poor, working within and outside the home, has given me an enhanced understanding of the challenges, frustrations, expectations, and rewards of motherhood in our society. Having two children born with hearing loss has changed my perspective on communication and the public perception of disability, and has challenged my own preconceptions of human development, intelligence, and potential.

Through my experiences as a mother, an academic, and an expatriate, I have become intensely interested in public law, Asian legal studies, feminist legal studies, environmental and natural resource law, and virtually all aspects of international law. I cannot wait to apply my skills and dedication at UBC Law.

Really informative. You have shared god information about all the aspects regarding this.

jmsrch9
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Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:15 am

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby jmsrch9 » Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:16 am

I am here looking to study for career in administration courses. Business administration schools offer online degree training to help you prepare for the future.

SPAM EDITED BY MODS

DoogieHowser
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:21 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby DoogieHowser » Thu Sep 08, 2011 5:02 pm

Anyone interested in taking a look at my PS? PM me and let me know -- I would be grateful for any feedback.

Thanks!

jmart154
Posts: 81
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:30 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby jmart154 » Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:41 pm

Hey everyone, new to the site.

I'm seeing a trend of people writing their PS with an anecdote for an introduction. For example, "As I walked across the gravel road, I could see the sun, glinting ever so slightly from over the horizon" and so on and so on. Is this supposed to something that is typically favoured by the adcom? One would think that by now they would be sick of this overdone style. I know the idea is to grab their attention right away, but isn't this just sort of phoney? Am I right or am I wrong?

Thx

caminante
Posts: 208
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 12:59 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby caminante » Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:30 pm

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leweq
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:31 am

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby leweq » Tue Nov 01, 2011 4:41 am

Before my A-level examinations I carried out work experience with a law firm in my home town, where I was given the job of Office Junior.I did some straightforward administrative work and some casework which several solicitors gave me. This included phoning clients to make appointments, writing some reminder letters and filing and photocopying papers. They let me attend a few case conferences where I took notes and gained an insight into how to run litigation cases. The cases were mainly personal injury claims which involved people affected by various accidents – on the road, at work or in public places..To begin with, I want to join a law school which will guide me through my career and give me the skills to be an effective lawyer. I wish to take part in a curriculum which is broad and that will give me a good grasp of what it is to be a lawyer

jnordlander
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:08 am

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby jnordlander » Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:32 am

jmart154 wrote:Hey everyone, new to the site.

I'm seeing a trend of people writing their PS with an anecdote for an introduction. For example, "As I walked across the gravel road, I could see the sun, glinting ever so slightly from over the horizon" and so on and so on. Is this supposed to something that is typically favoured by the adcom? One would think that by now they would be sick of this overdone style. I know the idea is to grab their attention right away, but isn't this just sort of phoney? Am I right or am I wrong?

Thx


Anecdotes can be effective introductions if the rest of your essay builds and follows logically. I use an anecdote to start mine. You decide whether it works. Im not being flippant, Im actually interested in whether it works.

Cumulative 3.4, 3.75 junior, senior year
173
UPENN, Georgetown, Cornell, UVA, USC, UCLA, GW, Davis, Emory, Fordham
Great LOR's and other softs; criminal record

In August 2010, Mr. Smith walks into the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX requesting representation for his Social Security hearing. The office manager refers him to XXXXXXXXXXX, a department of XXXX that represents clients applying for Title XVI SSI and Title II SSDI benefits before an administrative law judge in quasi-adversarial hearings. As director of D&L, I bring the man into our office to begin the intake process. He appears not to have showered in weeks, while the look in his eyes suggests it/that is the least of his concerns. I ask him his name, about his work history, impairments, and the date of his hearing. To the latter question he responds, Friday. It is Tuesday. D&L procedure requires three months between a client’s intake and hearing—to ensure sufficient time for proper preparation. In almost any other instance, I would have informed Mr. Smith that I was sorry, but I would be unable to assist him under the circumstances. However, Mr. Smith was suffering from Stage 3C Colon cancer, that by definition has metastasized into adjacent organs and the lymph nodes. Given Mr. Smith’s advanced condition, and unknown prognosis, allowing Mr. Smith to attend his hearing ill-prepared was not something I was prepared to do. After consulting with my supervising attorney, I made the decision to take the case. Doing so required compressing three months of collating medical evidence, researching impairments and writing the case brief into three days. The judge issued a Fully Favorable bench decision granting Mr. Smith monthly Supplemental Security Payments, and crucially, concomitant enrollment in Medi-Cal. My experience with Mr. Smith is emblematic of the reasons I wish to attend law school, some obvious and some less obvious.
To help a man living with burdens physical and financial that are unimaginable to me live out his days with dignity and a semblance of economic security is manifestly rewarding, and I am proud of the work D&L does. Yet, I was there for selfish reasons as well. I loved those three days: the pressure of the deadline, the favorable outcome, and ultimately, the knowledge that my work produced concrete results was immeasurably satisfying. This is not is not to suggest that I believe my career as a lawyer is going to consist solely of winning benefits for cancer patients. But rather, that I believe the law is something that yields real results through a process I enjoy. An abstract entity capable of producing tangible outcomes.

This concept segues to one of the most appealing characteristics of law. Success is borne from the fruits of one’s own labor. The opportunity to do a job where one’s work directly affects outcomes is an immensely attractive proposition. Yet as with most things, quality outcomes require quality inputs: assiduous research, rigorous thought and the formulation of trenchant argument. I believe my academic, extracurricular and work experiences have provided me with the necessary skills to do all three.

Law is not a profession for everyone. Two very different, yet in the end equally important experiences, cemented the knowledge that it is for me. The first was the Chico Moot Court competition. Perhaps as consolation for a disappointing second place finish, the appellate competition reinforced my interest in trial law. Arguing a hypothetical constitutional law case before a panel of professors posing as Justices was one of the most exhilarating things I had ever done. As I walked out of the mock courtroom, heart pounding, adrenaline pumping, the only thing that I could think was, you can get paid for this? The second is employment at Lewis and Bacon, a litigation firm, specializing in legal ethics and professional liability. My work as a legal assistant provides a realistic look at what practicing law entails; everything that is exciting, and everything less so. From last minute deadlines to Monday morning mundane, all of it is for me.

The culmination of my experiences to this point leave me confident that I possess the desire, temperament and aptitude to succeed in law school and beyond. If given the opportunity to attend (insert institution), it would be an opportunity I would not let go to waste.

What do yall think?

private_ryan
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby private_ryan » Sun Dec 11, 2011 6:25 pm

Eichörnchen wrote:Am I going crazy, or is this supposed to be a SAMPLE THREAD? GTFO with your asking for people to edit your essay and stop critiquing people's essays here. THERE IS A WHOLE FORUM AT YOUR DISPOSAL FOR CRITIQUING. This thread was an awesome idea, and would be an awesome resource if it was not inundated with this crap. STOP IT.


+1

Zephyd
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed May 04, 2011 7:14 am

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby Zephyd » Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:53 am

3.02, 172
strong softs (national champion debater/debate coach)

In: Georgetown (ED)

Ever since I was twenty-five years old, I've wanted to be a lawyer. About ten years ago, my mother took me on a trip to the East coast to tour a few colleges. While there, we stopped by her old law firm in Boston. She had left the firm when she was twenty-eight to move west and marry my father. Now, the friends who had been her fellow associates had made partner, and I got to experience a glimpse of what life as a high-end lawyer was like. This man opened the door to his office, a corner office with a gorgeous view of Boston Harbor. He then took us into a side room, with plush leather chairs and a bottle of Glenlivet sitting on a small, circular table. And then he dropped his bombshell. “I get very little satisfaction out of what I do. I really don't enjoy practicing law.” You can imagine the stark impression this made on my sixteen-year-old brain. This person had won the tournament! He represented hundreds of people who had tried to achieve the same thing and failed. And despite all this success, he was miserable. Clearly this was a profession I should avoid.

Law school faded from view, and without an overarching career goal in mind, I decided to take some less-traveled roads and follow my passions. In 2004, at the age of eighteen, I began playing online poker professionally. There is an old joke that all you have to do to become a professional poker player is to quit your day job. But for me, poker was no laughing matter. In the two years I dedicated myself to poker, I read fifty books on the subject and accumulated thousands of posts on the most-trafficked poker discussion boards. If poker was a job that required fifty hours a week, forty of those were dedicated to analyzing hands, discussing points of theory, and refining my technique, with only ten spent playing.

In 2006, my interest in poker started to wane, just as my interest in political philosophy and economics started to pick up. So I decided to return to college in 2007 with the intent of applying my newfound knowledge of political economy to intercollegiate debate. This turned out to be a very heavy commitment—competing on the national debate circuit required that I travel fifteen weekends during the school year. (No need for jealousy, unless you have a particular fondness for Springfield, Missouri in January.) Each day I would spend ten to twelve hours attempting to persuade complete strangers of the desirability (or undesirability) of various government policies. And during the week, in addition to the ten hours of mandated practice time (and my normal coursework) I spent two to three hours every day wading through hundreds of news articles and blog posts on the major public policy issues of the day, so that I could have the knowledge advantage I needed to win close debate rounds.

After college, I again found myself without a beacon—the price of following a passion with a shelf life. So I took a job at the University of Oregon as a debate coach. The job is a satisfying one—it has required me to serve as an intellectual guide for younger students, showing them a path through a diverse set of intellectual disciplines to a greater and more nuanced understanding of the way the world works. Judging rounds has also allowed me to analyze and discuss argumentative choices with debaters to help improve their understanding of debate, as well as my own.

When you devote yourself to an activity or a craft for an extended period of time, you learn things about yourself. I learned that, for me, there's nothing more fun than the preparation that goes into getting ready for an intellectual competition. In poker, the act of playing was secondary to the act of thinking, analyzing, and understanding. In debate the act of arguing was secondary to diving into the literature base, researching, and constructing arguments. (Indeed, competing in intercollegiate debate has made me less inclined to argue with people in my daily life—learning to see both sides of an issue tends to make you more accommodating and understanding of people who disagree with you.) That realization has led me to reconsider my attitude towards the legal profession. When I started reading about why so many lawyers were dissatisfied with their careers, very similar complaints would spring up—complaints about the hyper-competitive nature of law practice, the burdens of heavy research, the long hours. While there is no way to be certain, I feel confident that the reasons my mother's friend and so many others find law practice less than optimal won't translate to my experience, because I've already been involved in hyper-competitive and demanding environments and thrived.

But more than that, the law provides me an environment in which I can use my talents to add value to the world. Nothing compares to the ability of the lawyer to use his energy, his analytical talents, and his time to protect someone from being wronged. It is a field in which a talented researcher and advocate can have a massive positive impact, and thus a field I feel a strong need to be involved in.

sailormoon
Posts: 44
Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 10:27 pm

:)

Postby sailormoon » Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:10 pm

:)
Last edited by sailormoon on Thu Jan 26, 2012 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

osgiliath
Posts: 133
Joined: Thu May 05, 2011 12:28 am

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby osgiliath » Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:55 pm

LMFAO:

Immediately we were approached by two awkward looking characters. The shorter of the two barely amounted to five feet and had the physique of a starving third world child, the other was Tom, a morbidly obese character of averaged height and a head of poorly kept dreadlocks.


Seriously made me laugh out loud - it wouldn't be that funny on its own, but in a PS it is hilarious. I think your descriptions here are way too extreme, and will give the reader the impression that you hold yourselves above the two dudes. I can't stop laughing every time I read it though - so props on that.

Also, I think you should choose a different topic. Maybe go in depth about how you overcame social insecurities. And I'll be honest: building a computer probably won't impress anyone on the admissions committee - these days putting a computer together is easier than building a Legos set.

rmyoung79
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 6:56 pm

My PS

Postby rmyoung79 » Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:26 pm

I've already submited all of my apps, but I was curious to hear the responses my statement might provoke. It was a bit too vague, I think:




We live in a bifurcated world. Given limitless opportunities, even infinite infinities, we desperately cling to the conviction that life is some sort of true or false question: What is success, and what is failure? For all of our bluster about freedom and the human potential, we're a timid bunch. Then again, a little apprehension is understandable, I suppose. After all, life is so violently unpredictable as it is, and forfeiting the golden dichotomy seems tantamount to tossing the compass and abandoning ship in a storm. So, we chafe and shrug and complain in our cramped quarters aboard the pitching, rolling ship we have built for ourselves. Well, I was rolling on those waves, smashed in with everybody else and breathing everybody else's air, and I guess I know a little about how Hart Crane felt. Before the most beautiful, singular impulse I had ever experienced left me, I went swimming.

It is a disconcerting thing for one to realize that one is all alone. I looked around, and no one was there. No one was taller, or shorter, or faster, or slower. I put my hands together and noted their size and strength. They were my hands, and before I put them to work, I wanted to press them together for a while. I was the scale upon which my own life would be judged from that point. I was the force and the opposition, the standard, and the sea stretched on forever in every direction.

It was the Spring of 2005 when I disembarked. I was alone, but I was not lost. I wanted to drift for a while, and let the sea take me where it wished. I withdrew from the University of Kentucky, and all of the things with which I had begun to identify, and set about identifying myself. I would come to know my weaknesses intimately, and I would not cower from them. In fact, I would draw them out. I would disrupt my comfortability, and through grueling, grinding hours alone in the sea, I would achieve equilibrium; buoyancy, if you will. So many people focus merely on satisfying the social criteria for success, at the cost of ever becoming fully-formed people. I felt that it was necessary for me to know my full potential before I set a course for myself. I had always had a talent for academics, but I wanted to work. My disposition seemed to indicate to everyone that I was cut out for the theoretical, so naturally manual labor was immensely appealing to me. I enlisted in the United States Air Force in December of 2005, and shortly afterward was assigned to a flight line maintenance squadron.

There is no room for theories at the ground level of a military machine. There are plenty of tired clichés about "anonymous directives" and "cogs" and the like, but the gist is simply this: one does as one is told. I became a basic component within a prosaic, highly efficient mechanism, and that is a difficult thing for an honors philosophy student to do. In addition to my military duties, I had an equal obligation to finish my undergraduate studies. Needless to say, I was a very busy man. Success in this endeavor meant meeting two rigorous criteria: I would have to be fundamentally honest, and I would have to be unwavering. I would resist the urge to circumvent obstacles or otherwise deny myself the opportunity to fail. It was, after all, imperative that I know my weaknesses. I'm smart enough to learn quickly from mistakes, but my intelligence is useless without courage. Thus, I approached every matter honestly, and with dogged persistence. There were times when my educational and professional obligations conflicted, and I suffered for it, but I would simply forge ahead. I was determined to achieve the goal I had set for myself. The constant introspection entailed by this endeavor could at times make me a bit morose, but luckily there are always plenty of things to laugh about, if I need them. I should also mention that I have an invaluable asset in my wife. She's very funny.

As of December, 2011, I will no longer be a member of the Air Force. My time will have been served honorably, and I will set my new course. I consider my time spent in the military to have been an unequivocal success, although its total value is not necessarily measurable in an objective sense. One thing is certain, however: I became a stronger swimmer. I succeeded according to my terms, and I alone assumed responsibility for my choices. Now, I'm eager to put everything I have learned to use within a new context, and I believe a legal education to be exactly the right place in which to do it.

I am fundamentally concerned with morality and civil/human rights, as I feel that my own experience and insight would be uniquely valuable in those areas. There are a myriad of opportunities to be seized by anyone at any moment, and to arbitrarily deny someone the right to a choice in the matter of the direction and purpose of their own life constitutes a grievous offense, in my eyes. Choices are to be made, not imposed. The sum of my life is certainly not a mere matter of success or failure, but of becoming the man I was made to be. I am not resigned to the course set by a ship of which I am not the captain, and I can swim in even the roughest waters. I hope to become an asset to the exploited and voiceless, and perhaps give them an opportunity to test the water for themselves.

karlthomas
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 4:00 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby karlthomas » Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:51 pm

I am 26, German-American(white), and male from a Texas town of 1,500 people. My resume is void of experience in law of any capacity. Instead, it is dotted with everything from waiter and cook at a hole in the wall restaurant to ranch hand(hauling hay and building fence) for a Czech-born land owner to butchering hogs, cattle, buffalo, deer, and ostrich for the meat market my family owns. Of course, that all happened before or during my time in college.
I earned my undergrad degree in Architecture at Texas A&M in 2007 with an overall 3.101 GPA. I have worked at the same architecture firm since graduation, staying employed through the recession.
Late in the summer of 2011, I decided (completely out of the blue) to go to law school. I had little idea what prerequisites I might need, what was required to be accepted, or where to apply. I researched for a week or so, signed up with LSAC, payed to take the LSAT in October, and ordered three books with past tests. While my GPA is rather poor, I had historically been successful with standardized/aptitude tests. As such, these three books with past LSATs were all the study materials I felt were necessary. I planned on taking the test once, confident that the consistent scoring of 165-172 on the previous LSAT tests with time constraints would mirror my score on the actual administration on October 1st.

October 2011 LSAT: 159 (79th percentile)

Disappointing to say the least. I didn't even get to the last five questions on any of the five sections. An automatic 20 questions missed, save for a few that my random guessing helped rectify. I signed up for the December test the day after I took the October test, knowing I had done poorly. I still maintained I could do the studying on my own, and that I did not need to take a course on how to do well on the LSAT. Getting questions correct wasn't my issue...time was my issue. A course would likely have helped with this, but I forged ahead to the December test. This test went considerably better until the last section. For that singular section, distractions were everywhere, from people talking just outside the window, to proctors audibly discussing everything from career to love life. This last section, reading comprehension, I fell apart on, missing 13 of the 27 questions. That is HALF of all the questions I missed across the whole test being missed in just one section.

December LSAT: 161 (85th percentile)

Oh well, no time to take a third administration...161 would have to do.
I had applied to nine schools on October 31st 2011. They were sent this new score on January 6th.
Later, about January 15th, I applied to a tenth school to accommodate a family friend's urging. By that time, I had already heard from two schools, Arkansas and Tulsa.

Below are the ten schools and each school's response. To supplement the above, I had glowing recommendation letters, two from professors, one from my current employer(owner of the construction portion of the firm and a practicing attorney who went to South Texas College of Law).

Arkansas at Fayetteville: Accepted on December 14th, which means they accepted the Oct. LSAT of 159.
$4,000/semester for 1L, $2,000/semester for 2L and 3L. (((UPDATED to $5,000/semester for 1L after they got the Dec. LSAT of 161.))) Withdrew.
University of Tulsa: Accepted on January 10th.
$8,500/semester for all six semesters. (((UPDATED to $10,500/semester after the 161 LSAT.))) Seat deposit sent.
University of Houston: Waitlisted on January 27th. Still waitlisted as of April 25th.
Oklahoma at Norman: Accepted on February 1st.
Partial-tuition waiver equaling $3,750/semester for all six semesters. Merit and need-based scholarships to be awarded after start of session. Seat deposit sent.
St. Mary's University: Accepted on February 1st. $5,000/semester for all six semesters. Withdrew.
Alabama at Tuscaloosa: Waitlisted in late February. Still waitlisted as of April 25th.
Baylor University: Accepted for Spring 2013. Withdrew.
South Texas: Accepted. Scholarship awarded only two days before seat deposit due. Little communication from school. Bit disappointed, as I was hoping they would be my cheap-alternative school...seemed unorganized and uncommitted to courting me until very near their deadline. Scholarship was $9,000/semester. Withdrew.
Colorado at Boulder: Rejected on February 1st.
Texas at Austin: Rejected on February 3rd.

Here is the Personal Statement sent to the ten schools.

Until the age of six, home was a rented two-story farmhouse in a perpetual state of repair. Sitting on the outskirts of Myra, a rural Texas town with seventy residents, the house, barns, and other outbuildings were a playground for my siblings and I to explore, learn, and grow. The setting was by choice rather than circumstance, a product of the frugality inherent in our German heritage. While we were a middle-class family, we indulged in rather few of the traditional middle-class trappings.
I vividly recall the weekday routine of my father returning home after ten hours of work at his office. He would change into paint splattered and torn jeans and long sleeve shirt, eat a quick dinner with our family, and then proceed to work well past sundown on the seemingly endless maintenance of a house he had no intention of ever owning. His weekends were rarely his own, occupied by self-imposed obligations to a community revitalization project he had helped to create in a town we did not yet reside. Watching him work tirelessly to improve another man’s personal property and another community’s assets had two significant influences on my development. First, while many harden at the concept of labor without profit, I quickly learned that in some instances, hard work is the profit. The second result was a burgeoning interest in community service through construction and design.
In 1992, our family relocated six miles northwest to Muenster, Texas, a town of thirteen hundred people and the beneficiary of my father’s weekend labors. Given the modest size, an individual had the ability to dramatically influence both the physical and spiritual identity of the community. With my father as a role model, much of my school-age years were spent engaging projects throughout our new hometown. I reveled in the process of crafting an idea, solving the ensuing puzzles, and creating the product. The path to Eagle Scout and involvement with beautification organizations provided ample availability to exercise my interests and instilled elements of teamwork and leadership, trust, strategy, resourcefulness and critical thinking. While these invaluable traits are the pillars of success in any career field, I was certain that architecture would employ their utility most efficiently.
In my third year of architectural study at Texas A&M University, I left the country for the fall semester study abroad program in Barcelona, Spain. At twenty years of age, the departure marked my first time in a plane and my first time outside of the United States. With traditional small town values and curiosity intact, I reserved the two weeks prior to commencement of the school session for a solo trip to explore Spain before settling into the apartment that would be my home for the next four months. The account of those first days in Spain form a compelling narrative with far too many nuances to detail here, but perhaps most noteworthy, the expected culture shock from such a dramatic insertion into a new culture did not manifest itself. A seemingly sheltered childhood in rural Texas had equipped me with the resourcefulness and perseverance to navigate the obstacles encountered.
I returned to the United States in early January, just three days shy of a full five months outside the country. With twenty or more flights to nine different countries, miles of train track, and hostel stays behind me, I was now a seasoned traveler. However, regardless of this new status, the starkness of living in one of Europe’s largest cities for such duration had forcefully alerted me to the reality that my entire being was defined by my rural origin. I wanted to return to serve my community, but the rural setting could not sustain an architectural career.
After earning my Bachelor of Environmental Design, I flirted with notions of engaging a second undergraduate degree, though nothing provided the passion and substance capable of replacing my interest in architecture. Less than a year later, working in a Dallas architecture office, I had an enlightening conversation with one of my employers. He was co-owner of the design-build firm, president of the construction portion of the business, and an attorney. Over a series of engaging discussions, I became convinced that my architectural education would uniquely complement a legal career with specific interest in construction and environmental law. While I would be marketable at architecture, construction, and real estate development firms in the city, the legal credentials would allow me to eventually return to Cooke County in service to the communities that had been influential in shaping my future.
The experiences gained during my college coursework and years of employment in the construction and design industry will prove a significant resource in the progression of my legal career. Along with the character, moral values, and skills to be successful in law school gathered through my various trials and triumphs, an education at St. Mary’s University School of Law will guarantee a prosperous career in service to my community. Through my non-traditional background and unique experiences, I am confident that my enrollment at your law school will add diversity to the dialogue and learning experience for both students and staff.



20/20, hindsight, and what-ifs:

First, pay for a study course for the LSAT if you have issues with time on tests....if you do well because of the course, scholarship money will pay for the course many times over. If you don't do well in spite of the course but still get in to a school, you wasted only a small chunk of change compared to what is going to be an expensive three years at law school. Most who are reading this can not change their GPA at this point, so the LSAT is all you have to re-define yourselves.
Second, pre-law courses may help make you appealing, but from one pre-law student to the next, nothing distinguishes the individual. At this point, I am going to throw out some conjecture, but it is my opinion that admitting committees at these schools see thousands of degrees in marketing, business, management, political science, psychology, etc... perhaps a change of pace is enough to catch their eye.
Third, law school is not cheap. After watching my savings account increase from $0 to $50,000+ over the last four and half years, it is very difficult to know that I am about to stop making money for three whole years....and on top of that, I am going to be spending everything I have saved...
Fourth, there are ways of saving to go back to school, even if your pay for the last four years has been VERY low because of a recession(even cut 20% for two of those years so that we would not have to be layed off.)
For instance, since July 19th 2011, I have been 'homeless'. I saw how much law school would cost when I first started researching. My lease on my apartment was ending, so I took the plunge and moved into my office. I sleep under my desk and shower at the YMCA.
Fifth, being 'homeless' is not fun. :|
Last edited by karlthomas on Wed Apr 25, 2012 5:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Jordanlee125
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:22 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby Jordanlee125 » Sat Feb 11, 2012 8:26 pm

Hi this is a rough draft of my personal statement that I wrote with the intention to send to my top school choice.. any feedback would be amazing! :)



“To the world, I promise temperance, insight and courage; to crusade for justice, to seek the truth, and defend it always. To those who my life may touch in slight measure, may I give graciously of what is mine. To my friends, understanding and appreciation; to those closer ones, love that is ever steadfast. To my mind, growth; to myself, faith, that I may walk truly in the light of the flame.” If someone would have asked me five years ago what those words mean, I don’t believe I would have provided them with an adequate response; merely skimming the lines without attaching any real meaning or worth. Little did I know, these words would come to mean more to me than any in the world; these words would inspire me, characterize me, and make me into the person that I am today. This vow and sacred promise that I made, and that I remind myself of everyday, is the creed of the Delta Zeta Sorority.
When I was 18 years old I moved from a small town in Kansas to attend, what seemed like at the time, the most colossal university in the country – San Diego State University. Although I was excited to be in California, away from home, and on my own, it wasn’t without great difficulty. Weeks before my big decision on which university to attend, my boyfriend and best friend of two years, Darren, passed away from sudden cardiac arrest. I was devastated, and felt my whole life crashing down around me. The idea of college seemed insignificant and like a distant plan that I once held for myself. I couldn’t imagine doing anything with my life, especially moving across the country away from my friends, family, and away from Darren. Fortunately, there was someone in my life who was not willing to let me give up; Darren’s mother. Debbie is one of the strongest people I have ever met, and someone I will continue to look up to in every way for the rest of my life. During this incredibly difficult time in her life, she was continuously and without hesitation always there for me. She reminded me over and over again that I had to move away and go to school, that this is what Darren wanted for me. That he would want nothing more than to see me pursue and achieve my goal – earning my BA in Political Science, and pursuing my life dream of being a lawyer.
My first few weeks as an entering out of state freshmen were difficult to say the least. Being thousands of miles away from home, and with the constant sadness and absence I felt for Darren, I sunk into a private depression. Thoughts of quitting, giving up, and moving home constantly flooded my mind. In about the fifth week into the semester, something happened that would forever change my life. I discovered where I was supposed to be, and who I truly was - I discovered Delta Zeta. Entering college, I never planned on joining the Greek community; I had too many preconceived notions and negative stereotypes to let myself stray. However, during my chance run-in with Delta Zeta on that September day I learned just how wrong I really was.
Delta Zeta is an organization made up of young college girls from all over the world who are striving to become better, just like I was. The sorority is based upon strong standards and morals that represent what we are and how we are continuously trying to better ourselves. The heart of these being: Service, Sisterhood, Social, and Scholarship. All women of Delta Zeta are held to the highest standard in these categories, and I was no exception. During my time in Delta Zeta I was taught the importance of service and giving back to your community, and each semester I would log over 40 hours of community service and volunteer work. During my time as a member I formed connections and bonds between all the women of my chapter despite differences and diversity; and I created friendships that will last a lifetime. As a Delta Zeta I learned how to be a moral and responsible adult, and a socially open-minded being in our community. Most importantly, I was taught the true value of scholarship and academic success. I was challenged to do my best and thus learned how to be the most successful student I can.
Delta Zeta did more than just teach me how to be a better person, it gave me the opportunities to do so; and the opportunities to grow and discover myself. Although when I entered college I knew I wanted to be a leader and I knew I wanted to pursue my dream of law and politics, Delta Zeta made me realize these ideas even further. I became involved in Delta Zeta from the beginning of my initiation and didn’t stop being involved until the day I graduated. I did everything from sit on minor committee boards to being on the executive board as the chapter Treasurer. Throughout my time in Delta Zeta my interest in law increased greatly. I was the judicial board head of the chapter and heard and oversaw all judicial sanctions and hearings that occurred during my four years. I also was in charge of writing and amending the chapter’s standing rules and regulations. Eventually I got recommended and invited to sit on the campus judicial board as well; where I also oversaw and heard all campus judicial hearings.
The more time I spent with Delta Zeta and the more I got involved, it was clear to me that there was only one path for me after I graduated, and that path is law school. Delta Zeta inspired me in ways that I never thought possible. Delta Zeta saved me from myself when I was at the very lowest point in my life; Delta Zeta reinstated and renewed my passion for politics and the law; and most importantly Delta Zeta made me a better person - a strong, determined, diverse, community oriented, academically driven person. When I look at that creed and read those words now, there’s no doubt in my mind what they mean and what they represent. They signify a time in my life, a time when I became the person I am; the best person I can be. Because Delta Zeta and those words I promised myself, I can now say with the up most certainty that I am ready and willing to take on any challenges that law school and my future may bring. “To the world, I promise temperance, insight and courage; to crusade for justice, to seek the truth, and defend it always.”

thederangedwang
Posts: 1124
Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:44 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby thederangedwang » Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:37 pm

THIS THREAD IS FOR SAMPLE PS ONLY. If you want feedback or review of your ps, this is NOT the thread for it.

User avatar
luuma
Posts: 246
Joined: Sat Dec 10, 2011 2:04 am

Re: My PS

Postby luuma » Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:42 pm

rmyoung79 wrote:I've already submited all of my apps, but I was curious to hear the responses my statement might provoke. It was a bit too vague, I think:




We live in a bifurcated world. Given limitless opportunities, even infinite infinities, we desperately cling to the conviction that life is some sort of true or false question: What is success, and what is failure? For all of our bluster about freedom and the human potential, we're a timid bunch. Then again, a little apprehension is understandable, I suppose. After all, life is so violently unpredictable as it is, and forfeiting the golden dichotomy seems tantamount to tossing the compass and abandoning ship in a storm. So, we chafe and shrug and complain in our cramped quarters aboard the pitching, rolling ship we have built for ourselves. Well, I was rolling on those waves, smashed in with everybody else and breathing everybody else's air, and I guess I know a little about how Hart Crane felt. Before the most beautiful, singular impulse I had ever experienced left me, I went swimming.

It is a disconcerting thing for one to realize that one is all alone. I looked around, and no one was there. No one was taller, or shorter, or faster, or slower. I put my hands together and noted their size and strength. They were my hands, and before I put them to work, I wanted to press them together for a while. I was the scale upon which my own life would be judged from that point. I was the force and the opposition, the standard, and the sea stretched on forever in every direction.

It was the Spring of 2005 when I disembarked. I was alone, but I was not lost. I wanted to drift for a while, and let the sea take me where it wished. I withdrew from the University of Kentucky, and all of the things with which I had begun to identify, and set about identifying myself. I would come to know my weaknesses intimately, and I would not cower from them. In fact, I would draw them out. I would disrupt my comfortability, and through grueling, grinding hours alone in the sea, I would achieve equilibrium; buoyancy, if you will. So many people focus merely on satisfying the social criteria for success, at the cost of ever becoming fully-formed people. I felt that it was necessary for me to know my full potential before I set a course for myself. I had always had a talent for academics, but I wanted to work. My disposition seemed to indicate to everyone that I was cut out for the theoretical, so naturally manual labor was immensely appealing to me. I enlisted in the United States Air Force in December of 2005, and shortly afterward was assigned to a flight line maintenance squadron.

There is no room for theories at the ground level of a military machine. There are plenty of tired clichés about "anonymous directives" and "cogs" and the like, but the gist is simply this: one does as one is told. I became a basic component within a prosaic, highly efficient mechanism, and that is a difficult thing for an honors philosophy student to do. In addition to my military duties, I had an equal obligation to finish my undergraduate studies. Needless to say, I was a very busy man. Success in this endeavor meant meeting two rigorous criteria: I would have to be fundamentally honest, and I would have to be unwavering. I would resist the urge to circumvent obstacles or otherwise deny myself the opportunity to fail. It was, after all, imperative that I know my weaknesses. I'm smart enough to learn quickly from mistakes, but my intelligence is useless without courage. Thus, I approached every matter honestly, and with dogged persistence. There were times when my educational and professional obligations conflicted, and I suffered for it, but I would simply forge ahead. I was determined to achieve the goal I had set for myself. The constant introspection entailed by this endeavor could at times make me a bit morose, but luckily there are always plenty of things to laugh about, if I need them. I should also mention that I have an invaluable asset in my wife. She's very funny.

As of December, 2011, I will no longer be a member of the Air Force. My time will have been served honorably, and I will set my new course. I consider my time spent in the military to have been an unequivocal success, although its total value is not necessarily measurable in an objective sense. One thing is certain, however: I became a stronger swimmer. I succeeded according to my terms, and I alone assumed responsibility for my choices. Now, I'm eager to put everything I have learned to use within a new context, and I believe a legal education to be exactly the right place in which to do it.

I am fundamentally concerned with morality and civil/human rights, as I feel that my own experience and insight would be uniquely valuable in those areas. There are a myriad of opportunities to be seized by anyone at any moment, and to arbitrarily deny someone the right to a choice in the matter of the direction and purpose of their own life constitutes a grievous offense, in my eyes. Choices are to be made, not imposed. The sum of my life is certainly not a mere matter of success or failure, but of becoming the man I was made to be. I am not resigned to the course set by a ship of which I am not the captain, and I can swim in even the roughest waters. I hope to become an asset to the exploited and voiceless, and perhaps give them an opportunity to test the water for themselves.


LSAT words galore... :shock:

twentie4hrs
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:46 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby twentie4hrs » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:07 pm

can anyone out there help critique my diversity statement...I need some grammatical help

thederangedwang
Posts: 1124
Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:44 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby thederangedwang » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:15 pm

private_ryan wrote:
Eichörnchen wrote:Am I going crazy, or is this supposed to be a SAMPLE THREAD? GTFO with your asking for people to edit your essay and stop critiquing people's essays here. THERE IS A WHOLE FORUM AT YOUR DISPOSAL FOR CRITIQUING. This thread was an awesome idea, and would be an awesome resource if it was not inundated with this crap. STOP IT.


+1

twentie4hrs
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:46 pm

Re: Personal Statement Samples

Postby twentie4hrs » Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:18 pm

thederangedwang wrote:
private_ryan wrote:
Eichörnchen wrote:Am I going crazy, or is this supposed to be a SAMPLE THREAD? GTFO with your asking for people to edit your essay and stop critiquing people's essays here. THERE IS A WHOLE FORUM AT YOUR DISPOSAL FOR CRITIQUING. This thread was an awesome idea, and would be an awesome resource if it was not inundated with this crap. STOP IT.


+1



On that note...is there anyone out there that can assist me ?




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