Swapping personal statements

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
CaptainPuff
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 7:27 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby CaptainPuff » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:23 pm

If anyone wants to swap PM me!

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Feathers
Posts: 19
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 5:34 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Feathers » Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:21 pm

Anyone interested in swapping today? Please PM!

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shanana
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:47 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby shanana » Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:39 pm

I'm interested in swapping PS's, any takers??

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jacktripper
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2008 6:40 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby jacktripper » Fri Oct 31, 2008 4:45 pm

anyone want to swap? PM me

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coolkatz321
Posts: 436
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:31 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby coolkatz321 » Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:59 am

Guess I'll add my name to the list-- PM for a swap. Cool beans.

nikkei325i
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 8:45 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby nikkei325i » Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:19 am

In for a swap!

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badfish
Posts: 1160
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:53 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby badfish » Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:23 am

I'm willing to swap.

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aholmes87
Posts: 64
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:12 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby aholmes87 » Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:09 pm

edit
Last edited by aholmes87 on Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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consummategamer
Posts: 5
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:26 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby consummategamer » Mon Nov 03, 2008 6:12 pm

I'm in. PM me.

yoyo
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 9:13 pm

deleted

Postby yoyo » Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:10 pm

deleted
Last edited by yoyo on Sat May 09, 2009 8:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

nsrellow
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:55 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby nsrellow » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:17 pm

First, I can not tell you how much I hate personal statements. Personal disclosure has never been one of my strengths. But alas it is necessary. The following is my PS in its very early stage. It is incomplete and sentences are out of order. Some of it may even be a bit incoherant. I know it needs MAJOR rewriting, but what I want to know is if you think there potential here or should I scrap it and start over. If there is potential, what should I focus on more/less? I appreciate any help I can get on this!




In Yong Ning, Ningxia, China I often feel a bit out of place. Whenever I walk through the city streets, go shopping, or do anything that would otherwise be mundane in America I become an attraction. People stop what they are doing and stare. Some point and mumble to their friends “Laowai” (foreigner) or “meiguoren” (American). Some people seem amused, others distrustful. Occasionally even young school children will follow me, from a safe distance of course, and giggle every time I turn to look or wave at them. This is likely the first time they have ever seen a foreigner, especially one so distinctively un-Chinese looking as myself. It is safe to say that in China, I reside well outside my comfort zone.
I teach English at a Yinchuan University (named after the capital city of Ningxia but actually located in the much more rural Yong Ning). The students there are poor both in money as well as academics. My students make it a challenge. Most of these students are destined to work in a factory and many had already resigned to the fact. Thus their focus is not on English. The classroom seethes with apathy. The students look at me as if they dare me to try to teach them.
Besides being a foreigner in a distant nation, I am forced out of my comfort zone….loss of my basic freedoms that had always been common place. I cannot leave campus without first asking permission. I must account for my location at all times. If I wish to go further than the surrounding area I must first apply at least 15 days in advance. More troubling than this however is that amidst it all I find myself unable to fully speak my mind. I am unable to express my opinions especially when it comes to matters of Chinese government, policy, and recent history. It does not seem to bother my students and friends, for they have never known this freedom. In fact most truly believe what their government has told them to believe.
This has taught me not to take for granted the freedoms I was born with. It gives me a sense of responsibility to protect them. Uphold them. Ensure that everyone in our country has as fair a shot at them as everyone else, regardless of race, gender, or annual income. I have seen the power of information. I have witnessed it abused. By the Chinese government who control the information and manipulate it to their benefit. In America information also has power. The difference is the freedom that we have to obtain it. Yet despite this there are many who do not have the means due to financial restraints or whatever. It is the duty of those who have the information to see that those who are ignorant of it are not deceived by it.
This is why I want to study (Public) Law. Knowledge of the law is power. I want to use it to aid those who have not the ability or resources to wield that power for themselves. Government…
Studying law poses a new and exciting challenge for me. It is competitive and difficult. Despite being outside my comfort zone, and indeed perhaps for that very reason, I am confident that I will thrive.



(p.s I don't plan on actually using the words 'comfort zone' as much. Merely a place holder till I find a better way to express the same idea.)

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badfish
Posts: 1160
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:53 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby badfish » Tue Nov 04, 2008 9:21 pm

I just rewrote mine for all you guys who bashed it. Let me know if you would mind looking at it again. Nothing extensive, just if it was more like what you thought it should be.

badfish

nsrellow
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:55 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby nsrellow » Wed Nov 05, 2008 10:48 am

By the way if anyone wants me to read their PS feel free to send it to me. While I really don't have much experience with PS's, I do have a decent eye for grammar and basic composition. This English degree should get me something....

So I'm no pro but if you want a fresh pair of eyes to take a look at your essay, I'd be happy to do it.

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aholmes87
Posts: 64
Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2007 12:12 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby aholmes87 » Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:58 pm

Whoops. Mis-post

Carpathian1
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:08 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Carpathian1 » Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:23 pm

I'd be willing to read a few, krug_jona@bentley.edu

Mine's about 2 pages double spaced, need to trim it down for Mich/others

TammyG
Posts: 45
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:45 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby TammyG » Fri Nov 07, 2008 4:45 am

Hi all, just finished my mine. Still needs work, but I finally got everything down on the page :D

It will need to be trimmed down for some schools. This is my draft for the schools who don't give a page limit, or say max 3-4 pgs. I'd like to cut it a bit anyway so that I can add the customary, "why x" paragraph.

Reading and editing PSs is sort of my new thing, so I'm def willing to swap. Just PM me!

hintoe
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2008 4:43 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby hintoe » Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:00 pm

I'd love to swap... pm me if interested :D

misbuble
Posts: 61
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:18 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby misbuble » Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:26 pm

... looking to swap with potential (or actual) T14ers
Thanks!
Last edited by misbuble on Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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partymidget
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:33 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby partymidget » Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:02 am

i will swap with anyone

nervouslawapplicant
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 5:38 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby nervouslawapplicant » Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:34 pm

Looking for someone to read my optional essay. I'm willing to edit a PS or Optional essay. Please PM me if you're interested.

Thanks

hiphopcoolboy
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 1:49 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby hiphopcoolboy » Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:09 am

surfersam999@aol.com I would liek to trade!

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kow613
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:16 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby kow613 » Sat Nov 15, 2008 12:59 am

If anyone wants to trade, let me know.

JJim1919
Posts: 67
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2008 3:33 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby JJim1919 » Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:14 pm

If anyone wants to swap, let me know.

kflyer
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:51 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby kflyer » Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:53 pm

Anyone want to swap, or just take a look at mine?

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TopCat
Posts: 112
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:41 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby TopCat » Sun Nov 16, 2008 12:27 am

kflyer wrote:Anyone want to swap, or just take a look at mine?


pm it to me. I will give you a detailed feedback [if you look at my profile, you will see that I was a Writing major and I have postgraduate work in Philosophy, for what it's worth]. I feel magnanimous today. And slightly tipsy with my second Heineken [I got a good deal for Heineken over at the local store].




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