Swapping personal statements

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
gltm
Posts: 81
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2009 10:30 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby gltm » Sat Oct 17, 2009 10:33 pm

Hi there,

Can we please swap personal statements?
I just wrote mine today and I know its not too strong so I need some great advice/editing!

I am more than happy to be doing the same! Please PM me if interested and we will swap! :)

I am hoping whoever is going to offer me advice on my personal statement/edit it can do so by tomorrow night! :)

Please let me know. PM me!! :D

chnike112
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 7:06 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby chnike112 » Sun Oct 18, 2009 5:59 pm

so i sent PMs to some people on this thread and havent heard back from them so if anyone wants to swap and critique PM me!!! thanks

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PopandLock
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:00 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby PopandLock » Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:44 pm

Hey, I am just going to drop my PS on the thread. I've gotten only a few responses from PMs, so I am posting it publicly in the hopes that some TLS-ers will drop their input on it. Tear it to shreds.

Thus far I've had one TLS person give me extensive input, and I really appreciate this person's insight. Thank you.

That being said, send me your PS as well for review. I will do my best.

“Great Salt Lake Mercury Worries Scientists.”
“Toxic mercury lurking in Great Salt Lake.”

They sound like premises for a bad horror movie, but they are real headlines that appeared in newspapers in 2005. The reason: a study conducted by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) revealing the Great Salt Lake to contain extremely high levels of mercury. My research partner, Levi, and I were hot on the trail, trying to get answers from government officials, scientists, and environmental groups.We began our investigation believing that identifying the source of the lake’s mercury contamination would be easy. We were wrong.

Levi and I were both members of an environmental think tank developed by my university’s Honors College. The think tank’s purpose was to address environmental concerns relevant to the Greater Salt Lake area. This year, the twelve-panel consortium was tasked to focus on the Great Salt Lake itself. Through speaking with a local environmental activist, Levi and I became intrigued by the particular issue of mercury contamination in the lake. We decided to investigate the matter ourselves.

Our first step was to examine available scientific evidence. The USGS report revealed the concentration of mercury in the lake to be as high as twenty-five parts per billion, the highest mercury readings ever recorded in a body of water in the United States. The state responded by issuing an advisory, sparking public concern. Such a concern is not unwarranted, as mercury is a neurotoxin and poses a health risk to humans.

Where did this mercury come from? Though Levi and I had initially suspected local anthropogenic (manmade) sources to be the culprit, we encountered a problem when we discovered that mercury could remain in the atmosphere for long periods of time and travel great distances around the globe. A volcanic eruption in the pacific rim, for instance, could be just as likely a contributor to mercury in the lake as a gold refinery in Elko, Nevada. After conferring with scientists in the field, we realized that identifying the exact sources of the lake’s mercury would be ‘technically unfeasible’ using atmospheric data. Our question remained unanswered, though our suspicions remained.

I summed up our findings in a report submitted to the think tank. The year drew to a close and the group adjourned. I had come to the table expecting to make ground-breaking changes, and had come away from it impeded by a lack of scientific data. On the surface it seemed like the program had proved to be a waste of my time.

In reality, however, the program had turned out to be a very valuable use of my time. Interacting with a wide variety of professionals gave me multiple frames of reference from which to view a real-world problem. It also developed my own professional skills. The many hours I spent interviewing taught me how to ask the right questions. In addition, the experience brought me closer to the Honors College community, where I thrived and formed lasting relationships with fellow students and faculty.

These same skills will carry over to my law school experience. I am looking forward to interacting professionally with experts in pursuit of solving problems. Due to my inquisitive and persevering nature, I believe I have a future in litigation, and plan to participate in one or more litigation clinics during law school. Just as in the mercury investigation, there are many questions to be asked; I will be the one asking them.

sconnielaw13
Posts: 167
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:22 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby sconnielaw13 » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:22 am

Popandlock,

I like your PS however in my own opinion I think you should attempt to talk a little more about your own personal growth from the experience and try to find a slightly stronger tie back to how it will benefit you in law school. I mean don't take what I say too hard or any thing because I think it is decent, I just think the above aspects if changed could strengthen it. Also when you refer to anthropogenic I don't think it is necessary to put manmade after it. I would hope any one and everyone on the adcom would know what that is. I am sorry I don't have more but the above is what I took from it in a quick read. Best of luck to you this cycle!

sconnielaw13
Posts: 167
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:22 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby sconnielaw13 » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:26 am

would anyone be willing to swap personal statements. I have a decent rough draft and I am just looking to find out what peoples impressions of it are and if there are any suggestions. If you are interested pm me and we can maybe swap email addresses or something.

Gonzod23
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:45 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Gonzod23 » Tue Oct 20, 2009 9:29 pm

chnike112 wrote:so i sent PMs to some people on this thread and havent heard back from them so if anyone wants to swap and critique PM me!!! thanks


Yeah, I will. PM me to get my email.

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ruleser
Posts: 870
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 2:41 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby ruleser » Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:47 am

Well I have 2 PS's and I am having some trouble deciding which one to go with. One is more personal story, one is more professional highlights.

Anyone care to weigh in on which they think might be better to use?

eakelley
Posts: 19
Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:22 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby eakelley » Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:14 am

anyone have a more complete draft and want to swap? i'm happy with the structure and content of mine (i think!) but want to make sure it flows well and is without grammatical errors
thanks :)

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JollyGreenGiant
Posts: 995
Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:12 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby JollyGreenGiant » Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:39 pm

ruleser wrote:Well I have 2 PS's and I am having some trouble deciding which one to go with. One is more personal story, one is more professional highlights.

Anyone care to weigh in on which they think might be better to use?

To be honest, I would try to incorporate some professional highlights into your personal story. However, if the professional highlights are on your resume then this would seem redundant.

esmagalhaes
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:21 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby esmagalhaes » Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:58 pm

I've been a philosophy professor for a few years, but was unable to get a tenure-track job. My interest in law school is largely due to the better job prospects.

I have a mental illness which is thoroughly under control.

Terrible idea to mention in any way either of these things?

SomethingCorprt
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:47 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby SomethingCorprt » Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:07 am

Anyone willing to trade? PM me and I'll send you my PS/Addendum.

SomethingCorprt
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:47 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby SomethingCorprt » Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:09 am

esmagalhaes wrote:I've been a philosophy professor for a few years, but was unable to get a tenure-track job. My interest in law school is largely due to the better job prospects.

I have a mental illness which is thoroughly under control.

Terrible idea to mention in any way either of these things?


I don't think it's a terrible idea at all. Just leave out the better job prospect thing that might not go over so well. But mentioning your journey through both the illness and being a philosophy professor is great.

SomethingCorprt
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:47 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby SomethingCorprt » Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:10 am

ruleser wrote:Well I have 2 PS's and I am having some trouble deciding which one to go with. One is more personal story, one is more professional highlights.

Anyone care to weigh in on which they think might be better to use?



The professional highlights could be put in a resume no?

SomethingCorprt
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:47 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby SomethingCorprt » Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:15 am

awl05d wrote:am i crazy....i got something like a 3.69 gpa... and who knows what upcoming on the lsat im hoping for mid 160's..... i dont have much extracurricular so i decided to make my personal statement standout hopefully.... i did that by explaining how pink floyds 'dark side of the moon' album changed my life and the way I think.. and tied that to a law career kind of..... too out there or not??



I think this is different and something that the readers would enjoy! It also says that you can think outside the box. And you know that every answer isn't clear cut...

tsub
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:36 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby tsub » Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:11 pm

I want in on the swaps. PM me and let's get it rolling.

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solotee
Posts: 481
Joined: Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:20 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby solotee » Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:21 pm

Count me in.

PM for a swap!

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theadw
Posts: 128
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:05 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby theadw » Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:44 pm

edit: oops.

PM for swap.

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GoTribe1
Posts: 49
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 7:58 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby GoTribe1 » Fri Oct 23, 2009 5:34 pm

Interested in swapping. PM me.

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MC Southstar
Posts: 1238
Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:27 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby MC Southstar » Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:22 pm

anyone wanna swap? PM me plz.

SomethingCorprt
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:47 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby SomethingCorprt » Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:00 am

I'm going to up all night (I'm at work) and I'm going to try and study logic games. But I'm willing to look at any personal statements while I'm up to help fellow TLS'ers. I have rough drafts of my own and I will PM you or email you my work as well; which ever way is easiest for you.


Thanks,
Tanya

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DEANBIGBROTHERALMI-T
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2009 1:13 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby DEANBIGBROTHERALMI-T » Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:12 pm

count me in for personal statement swapping PM me or you can email me at

napozero@gmail.com - this is my junk email address, i know youre not supposed to post email addy's on forums due to junk mail, but i got enough on this thing im not really sweating it. let me know.

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JPJ
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2009 8:11 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby JPJ » Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:43 pm

Looking for a review of a U. of Houston PS.... any takers? I'll PM it to you.

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JPJ
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2009 8:11 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby JPJ » Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:53 pm

no love?

dbc001
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:51 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby dbc001 » Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:16 pm

I'm currently trying to put my PS together. I would like to swap as well. Any takers, let me know through PM. I'm better at viewing others work with a critical (constructive) eye rather than my own. I would send mine as well. Let me know!!

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joshhoward
Posts: 190
Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 1:07 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby joshhoward » Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:21 am

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Last edited by joshhoward on Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:12 am, edited 1 time in total.




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