Swapping personal statements

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
julius714

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Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2018 12:05 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby julius714 » Tue Jan 16, 2018 12:15 pm

Looking for feedback on my personal statement! If anyone wants to swap please PM me!

kimbisimba09

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Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:37 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby kimbisimba09 » Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:46 pm

Hello Everyone,

I am a bit behind on my personal statement. I am only posting a very rough draft of one I started. However, I strongly believe I am only rehashing my resume. I would appreciate it if anyone can take the time to read it and let me know what areas or experiences I should focus more on.

Thank you very much in advance


I became interested in studying International Relations and Human Rights through a combination of experiences and early influences that shaped my passions and life goals. This combination has now driven me to pursue a law degree, so I may be better prepared to serve toward the advancement of Human Rights efforts in Central America.

Since my teenage years, I participated in short-term transcultural missionary trips with my parents and different humanitarian organizations. These trips that taught me of the diversity that exists in this world. They helped me learn about people, countries, and the complexities engrained in different cultures. A lesson that I would otherwise not have had the chance to learn cooped up in a classroom. I also remember listening in awe to my father, a once Special Agent of the FBI, tell me stories about the work he did on a variety of cases and later on as a missionary/pastor. What I admired most about his work was the long-lasting impact it had on other people's lives. Since then, I knew that I wanted to commit my life to social justice.
I decided to pursue an undergraduate degree in Political Science with a concentration in International Relations from the University of Puerto Rico. As I initiated my academic journey, I developed an unquenchable desire to learn more about the role of International Development in the betterment of people's quality of life. For this reason, I pursued various opportunities that would expose me to this field. I participated in a study abroad program in Spain, a Congressional Internship in Washington D.C., and a US Department of State Internship at the US Embassy in El Salvador. However, this last experience helped shift my focus from community development to access to justice and human rights. Working at the US Embassy in San Salvador enabled me to gain substantial knowledge and experience in public diplomacy and community development but also exposed me first-hand to the painful reality many impoverished populations face: an unavoidable exposure to violence. People in El Salvador are overwhelmingly repressed and traumatized by years of violence and abuse due to control and attacks exerted by gangs. This fear, experienced by a large percentage of the world's poor, is a crucial factor in why the cycle of poverty is exacerbated.

After completing my undergraduate degree, I decided to go back to El Salvador to work with these vulnerable populations. During my time in the country, I designed a skills-building and empowerment project for survivors of abuse and sexual exploitation by the MS-13 and 18 street gangs in coastal communities of La Libertad and Tamanique. Working with these communities for over two years helped me understand that to produce tangible results that address their needs, I needed to continuously improve myself. I left El Salvador excited about strengthening violence prevention efforts in developing countries, and more hopeful than ever to do so in The United States which is one of the top destination countries for Latin Americans who have survived or are running away from violence and exploitation.

As the next step in my pursuit of the skills and tools necessary to be efficient in this field, I decided to study a graduate degree in Development Management from The School of International Service at American University. During this time, I have been able to engage in work related to human trafficking and gender-based violence. I traveled to Israel to work with XX, a non-profit organization that provides employment rehabilitation and skills training for survivors of human trafficking and sexual exploitation. There, I assisted management in the planning and design of their most recent social enterprise and reintegration program. During this past winter break, I travelled to Cambodia to participate in seminars on conflict resolution, anti-human trafficking initiatives, and intensive peacebuilding projects now implemented in post-genocide community development programs.

To consolidate everything that I was learning and to further explore the role of the justice system in this context, I decided to conduct my graduate capstone project with the International Justice Mission (IJM). This nonprofit organization works to prevent various forms of exploitation such as human trafficking and forced labor by strengthening local justice systems, providing reintegration services to survivors and prosecuting perpetrators. They are in the process of implementing a project in El Salvador, and I am currently helping to inform their sub-granting process within the country, and I will also be contributing to their Political Economy Assessment. Thus far, this has been a valuable opportunity to experience firsthand the intricacies of a lawyer's work to the combat against exploitation and human rights violations within the context of third world countries. As well as, to understand the day to day work required of them.

Additionally, my concentration in gender and human rights further informed me about the implications human rights violations have on a community's and country's development. Studying about the afflicted lives of the women who have survived sexual exploitation and gang violence has motivated me to gravitate towards the prosecution aspect of anti-trafficking/violence efforts. Moreover, in the light of the specific case of El Salvador, where the MS-13 gang somewhat decides the fate of the vulnerable populations and where 'iron fist' policies have been unsuccessful at addressing this phenomenon, dispute and conflict resolution seem to provide an avenue for diminishing violence and abuse in the country. For this reason, I desire to work with the intersectionality of these themes and have continually pursued to expose myself to more opportunities to understand the tools and strategies that might be put in place to deter violence and exploitation.

Because of my diverse background, my academic and professional aspirations, and after considering my commitment to this work and the next steps needed to accomplish this, I decided to apply to Loyola Law School. Studying here will provide me with the ideal setting to explore the established and emerging areas of International Criminal and Human Rights Law. The most appealing aspect of the Law School is its interdisciplinary approach, immersive learning, curriculum flexibility, and active engagement between theory and practice. Moreover, the courses offered as electives such as: Human Trafficking Seminar, and International Protection of Human Rights, entice me to the program. Furthermore, being able to participate and learn from the experiential opportunities provided in the International Criminal and Human Rights Law, such as the International Human Rights Clinic provide the perfect platform to be fully engaged and immersed in the field I am passionate about.

I find the opportunity to attend the Loyola Law School highly rewarding since it would allow me to combine my work and life experiences with my professional skills, passion and knowledge. I am confident the knowledge and experience I gained through academic coursework, internships, and travel will come alive studying at Loyola Law School. I firmly believe that with my critical thinking, leadership, communication, and team working skills, I will add significant value to the Loyola community. My passion for violence prevention and human ights, along with my upbringing and cultural roots have shaped me into the woman I am today. I feel confident that this opportunity will contribute substantially to my academic and professional goals while strengthening the skills specifically relevant to my long-term interest in this field. With the education received at Loyola Law School, I will strive to impact those around me positively while seeking to learn more about the complex and remarkable world in which we live. I kindly ask you to consider me as a valuable candidate.

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wmbuff

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Joined: Mon Sep 04, 2017 6:26 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby wmbuff » Wed Jan 31, 2018 7:37 pm

Search my post history for important information.

pohshade

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Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:01 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby pohshade » Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:06 pm

Would anyone want to swap personal statements? I'm a Native American woman applying for environmental law school. Would really appreciate some feedback.

Roadto180

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Joined: Sat May 13, 2017 11:37 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Roadto180 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 10:00 pm

If anyone wants to swap let me know! I should be done with mine tomorrow or on Sunday.

d1721

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Joined: Sun Feb 18, 2018 12:31 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby d1721 » Sun Feb 18, 2018 12:33 am

Does anyone want to swap? PM me!

ttl1989

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Joined: Wed Sep 20, 2017 2:03 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby ttl1989 » Wed Feb 28, 2018 5:19 pm

How do you send personal messages? It doesn't seem to be an option when you click on a user's profile.

Lawschoolhopeful42

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Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2018 3:37 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Lawschoolhopeful42 » Thu Apr 05, 2018 4:05 pm

Posting my first rough draft here for critiquing. Rip it to shreds! I’d appreciate any feedback. Is this even a good topic? I’m free to edit as well. PM me your statement.

[indent] As you drive down highway 9 in northwest (state) you will come upon a sign that says “(Town), Unincorporated.” Behind that you’ll see a beautiful brick church, two blocks of houses, then my parent’s house. That small town with nothing but a few houses, two stop signs, and 40 people is where I grew up. As the daughter of a second generation farmer and a math teacher, the importance of hard work was taught to my siblings and me at a young age. My brother and I raised a calf for several months when we were in grade school. We trekked out to the field where the calf was being kept through a foot or more of snow to bottle feed her. Although we hated almost every minute of it, when we each earned a couple hundred dollars after the calf was sold we knew all the hard work had been worth it.

[indent] The importance of hard work stayed with me as I continued through high school and college, although its effect on me changed dramatically. As a young girl, I looked up to my father. The dozens of hours of home videos that remain show how close we were. As a teenager however, I took my father pushing me to work hard and succeed as him saying I wasn’t good enough. I became afraid of him. I stopped talking to him for fear that he would find something wrong with me. This fear turned into a fear of talking at all. I performed well in school and joined as many activities as possible, but I had few friends and kept to myself. I wanted to be successful to prove to my father that he was wrong.

[indent] As I moved away to college this fear of my voice stuck with me. Forcing myself to attend a large university where I knew no one pushed me out of my shell. I made friends. I joined clubs. I proved to myself I was capable of succeeding in the big pond. When I ran for Vice President of my business fraternity I showed up to elections in a suit with a binder full of my plans for the fraternity’s future. As I sat waiting to give my speech I couldn’t help but silently thank my father for making me the most prepared person in the room. My sophomore year of college I attended a week long leadership conference. During a group discussion a fellow attendee told me that although I didn’t talk much, when I did speek it was well thought out and she wanted to listen. Again I had to thank my father for making me more aware of my words.

[indent] Through my experiences I came to realize my father hadn’t been hard on me because he thought something was wrong with me. He pushed me because he knew I was capable of more than attending the local community college and returning home to live with my parents. A fate that was very common in my small home town. Im not afraid of my father anymore. More importantly I’m not insecure about myself or my voice. Since the day I decided to go to law school I have never questioned that decision. I know I am on the right path and I have my father and that bottle calf to thank.

lauriewang

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Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby lauriewang » Fri Aug 31, 2018 11:13 pm

Anyone wants to swap? I've done several PS reviews for others and they think my suggestions are detailed & helpful. if you're interested please PM me :)

P.S. I'm an international student so probably I can't give you much advice on the language. However I my sense of organization and arrangement of articles is not bad :p (based on previous feedbacks)



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