Swapping personal statements Forum

cdotson2 · Post by **cdotson2** » Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:56 am

benwyatt wrote:
metaphysicalkant wrote:I'm looking for a swap as well for my PS and resume, preferably someone with similar stats: non-URM, male, 3.65 GPA, 168 LSAT.
For a second I thought this was Craigslist Casual Encounters

if this isn't already a topic in the lounge it should be. TLS Casual Encounters.

metaphysicalkant · Post by **metaphysicalkant** » Tue Aug 04, 2015 10:58 am

benwyatt wrote:
metaphysicalkant wrote:.
For a second I thought this was Craigslist Casual Encounters

HAHA! It can be if you want.

hannahv246 · Post by **hannahv246** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:07 pm

AMajorChord · Post by **AMajorChord** » Sat Aug 15, 2015 11:24 pm

Can people PM me if they're willing to read mine? I'm relatively self-conscious about my family/ friends reading mine and know that you're all bright people who can help me out.

MichiganMan87 · Post by **MichiganMan87** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 10:32 am

If anyone wants to swap personal statements, send me a PM! Thanks!

barley · Post by **barley** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 1:22 pm

hannahv246 wrote:anyone care to help me with mine??
I found out what being in love was when I turned six. It was my first ever horseback riding lesson and his name was Mellow. He was an old palomino pony with one with soft brown eyes. As I saw him I dreamed of the day that I would be able to ride a perfect jumping course round just like the Olympians, and winning a shinning blue first place ribbon. It was love at first sight.
To my disappointment, however, instead of getting right on Mellow and learning how to jump, I first had to learn how to take care of him. I spent hours learning how to groom, clean his hooves, and all of the different parts of the horse as well as breeds and colors before I was even able to climb aboard. I much enjoyed my time learning about horsemanship and care, but I was determined to ride.
Through hard work and horseback riding lessons twice a week, it still took about two years before I was allowed to jump my first jump. Much like learning how to care for a horse, I first had to learn the basics of riding. Walking to galloping, and every technicality in between were a necessity before I could learn the art of jumping. I desperately wanted to jump, it was the only thing I could think of and I asked my trainer for permission at every lesson. But she always had the same reply. “To succeed, you must first learn the importance of a proper foundation”. At a young age, her reasoning use to frustrate me, but I followed her advise and never gave up. Determination to fly though the air one day as I had always dreamt kept me going, and one day, I flew.
The feeling of jumping a horse is unlike anything else. Human and animal come together and feed off each other to accomplish a goal, floating around a course of jumps in perfect harmony and rhythm. Horses have minds of their own, but being able to connect and have a successful relationship is something that takes time and determination. Having a solid foundation in the basics of horsemanship allowed me to thrive as an equestrian. Throughout my high school career, I competed competitively and was quite successful in my ability to perform, but when I went to college I had a big decision to make. I could either continue to ride and fund my future equestrian endeavors, or end my competitive horseback riding career.
I picked up extra shifts at work during my full time school schedule just so I could continue to ride. My passion for horses and the ability to become so in tune with an animal and my addiction to being successful in my riding career no matter what was what led me to be successful. In my last year to compete at the junior rider level, I qualified to participate in the Rhode Island State Equation Finals where I placed tenth overall, a huge victory for any rider.
Although in the past year I no longer ride at the competitive level, I am still addicted to the feeling of jumping, and ride for enjoyment, and the lessons that I have learned remain relevant to my life. I now understand why having a proper foundation had led me to succeed in my equestrian career, and I thank my trainer for teaching me this at such a young age. Horseback riding has allowed me to acquire a lifestyle of discipline and has internalized the drive to be successful in whatever I set my mind to. I absolutely understand the importance of hard work, and having a strong foundation. I know that my passion and drive to be successful will allow me to thrive in the law school.

Sounds to me like you plagiarized one of the essays posted on the UChicago website.....

http://www.law.uchicago.edu/alumni/maga ... irownwords

debdeb2 · Post by **debdeb2** » Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:20 pm

____________________________
Structurally this is a straightforward personal statement - it focuses on something the writer loves deeply, and it is formatted in such a way that it appears similar to other existing personal statements. There are so many samples out there, this is bound to happen.

I would challenge the writer to think about a few things: Because the essay focuses on the beginning of her love for horses, much of the essay feels quite young. This is a neutral statement, but it is important in the sense that young girls + horses is a known dreamy childhood quantity, which takes away some of its specialness as a topic. Because the primary obstacle that is overcome in the essay appears to be an eight-year-old needing to learn to care for a horse, I'm not sure that the reader gets the full payoff that is more standard for the personal statement. That is: at some point the reader would anticipate meeting adult you, who falls off a horse/sustains an injury/cannot afford horse lessons and must make a difficult decision. There is not much growth, or learning, represented here: it appears the writer rides a horse as long as she wants to, working some in college to pay for the personal joy, and then stops.

So it is a story of enjoyment, and happiness, and it certainly leaves the reader with the feeling that the writer is someone who is capable of commitment and follow-through. But it doesn't necessarily leave the reader with the impression that the writer has substantial grit, or chutzpah, or ambition - which are all attributes that will see a person through the harsh vagaries of 1L, and then through to the shark-infested job market at the end of the 3-year ride. Tone can matter as much as character in a personal statement; consider whether there are any nuances to your story that might indicate that the writer may be happy, but can also persevere, learn, and/or overcome.

scandk · Post by **scandk** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 10:56 am

pittsburghpirates wrote:I'm also interested in getting some feedback from a fresh set of eyes, and am likewise more than willing to read and comment on others' statements who are looking for a fresh read!

Hey! I know it's a bit late, but are you still reading personal statements?

hannahv246 · Post by **hannahv246** » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:30 am

jettison63 · Post by **jettison63** » Thu Aug 20, 2015 5:54 pm

Post removed.

MichiganMan87 · Post by **MichiganMan87** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:35 am

Anyone else looking to swap? Jettison, I sent you a PM.

jettison63 · Post by **jettison63** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:02 pm

Post removed.

MichiganMan87 · Post by **MichiganMan87** » Thu Aug 27, 2015 3:46 pm

Got it!

lalaa85 · Post by **lalaa85** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:44 am

Looking to swap my personal statement! Pm me

ebouchard · Post by **ebouchard** » Sat Sep 12, 2015 10:30 pm

Looking to swap personal statement (and potentially diversity statement too). I am non-URM, LSAT 170+, GPA 3.9+. You can just PM me. Thanks.

champv17 · Post by **champv17** » Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:57 pm

Hi, I'm looking to swap my PS. Please PM me.

flyhigh08 · Post by **flyhigh08** » Mon Sep 21, 2015 10:10 pm

Anyone care to swap ? Please let me know.-- Thanks

oliverotis · Post by **oliverotis** » Wed Sep 23, 2015 8:49 pm

Looking for someone else with a few years of WE, ideally also shooting for YHS, to swap personal statements with. PM me.

lalaa85 · Post by **lalaa85** » Wed Oct 07, 2015 2:53 pm

Hi, Looking to swap personal statements with someone w/ similar stats: gpa 3.5 LSAT: 166

violinguy27 · Post by **violinguy27** » Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:53 am

Looking to swap essays! PM me if you are interested. Applying at top 20 schools if that matters to anyone

Mrs Featherbottom · Post by **Mrs Featherbottom** » Mon Oct 19, 2015 5:06 pm

Hey, looking to trade sometime this week, since I'm going to start sending apps Monday.

I've worked for several years as a professional editor.

bnssweeney · Post by **bnssweeney** » Tue Oct 20, 2015 10:18 pm

Also looking for a swap to critique my rough first draft. PM me.

funnybones · Post by **funnybones** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 8:25 am

Also looking to swap a draft of PS and possibly DS. PM me please.

slizerd · Post by **slizerd** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 6:31 pm

Would love to swap PS with anyone. PM me!

lenardizag · Post by **lenardizag** » Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:08 pm

Would love to swap PS with others. Please message me if you're interested.