Swapping personal statements

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
User avatar
Ken
Posts: 923
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 6:22 am

Swapping personal statements

Postby Ken » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:26 am

Dear TLS Site Readers,

Given the great intelligence of site readers, there are excellent editors available for free (or only at the cost of your time). Thus, I recommend that those interested in swapping personal statements can post below and each critique the other's statement. This is obviously much cheaper than www.essayedge.com, a very good but expensive editing service. Let the free editing begin!

And while I no longer have the time to edit anyone's statement, I did edit a few at http://www.top-law-schools.com/personal ... mples.html.

Cheers,

Ken

atmorris0
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:33 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby atmorris0 » Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:32 pm

-
Last edited by atmorris0 on Mon Aug 23, 2010 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
JustDude
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:07 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby JustDude » Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:58 am

Ken wrote:Dear TLS Site Readers,

Given the great intelligence of site readers, there are excellent editors available for free (or only at the cost of your time). Thus, I recommend that those interested in swapping personal statements can post below and each critique the other's statement. This is obviously much cheaper than www.essayedge.com, a very good but expensive editing service. Let the free editing begin!

And while I no longer have the time to edit anyone's statement, I did edit a few at http://www.top-law-schools.com/personal ... mples.html.

Cheers,

Ken



But you need to edit mine. I cannot trust anyone else

User avatar
hannah
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 4:38 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby hannah » Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:58 pm

I'd like to trade!
milov@ufl.edu

User avatar
broach911
Posts: 53
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:50 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby broach911 » Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:04 pm

I would like to trade as well. It's been hard finding critics.
abroc003@fiu.edu

Legalgirl
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:24 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Legalgirl » Sun Oct 12, 2008 6:49 pm

anyone wanna swap ps and diveristy statements?
PM me

User avatar
flip side
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:38 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby flip side » Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:45 am

I will trade with anyone too! PM me!

zonda1
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:50 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby zonda1 » Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:02 pm

Please PM .. Ill read ur u read mine .. both get help

Dr_Nex
Posts: 49
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 1:44 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Dr_Nex » Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:57 am

Same here.

Frankay
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat May 10, 2008 5:35 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Frankay » Thu Oct 16, 2008 1:25 am

Hey guys,

I'm about 60% through with mine, but I don't know if I should keep going or start over.

Someone wanna swap with me?

I'm in Asia now so it's the middle of the day for me. Let me know if anyone is still awake.

Thanks...

alfmwf
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:09 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby alfmwf » Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:36 pm

If anybody is interested in trading personal statements please email me at dmoguill@gmail.com or PM me.
Thanks!

User avatar
apicelp
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:35 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby apicelp » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:48 am

I would also like to trade. Anyone who wants someone to look at theirs and is willing to do the same in return, let me know.

apicelp@hotmail.com

Paul

P.S. I am new to this site and don't know what "PM"'ing is...

User avatar
apicelp
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:35 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby apicelp » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:02 am

Okay, I'm just going to post my PS here. If anyone gets a chance to read it, please let me know what you think. I will need to significantly shorten it for a lot of schools (it is 4 pages, DS). Thanks for the feedback

Of all the advice my father ever gave me growing up, his claim that, “The secret to happiness and success in life is to figure out how to fit together the Hoops and the Squares,” seems to most accurately reflect the process through which I have become who I am today.

As a curious and strong-willed young boy, trouble seemed to follow me everywhere I went. Rather than being “bad” or “malicious,” much of the mischief that I got into revolved around an insistence to learn things for myself; I chafed under the direction of anyone who told me what I could or could not do, and when a point was made to advise me against doing something that sounded interesting, I made sure to find out exactly what all of the fuss was about.

My father took great interest in getting me to harness my considerable energies. He constantly doled out advice in the form of quotes and adages, which I roundly brushed aside in favor of my own methods for navigating through the world. Hardly a day passed that I was not learning some hard lesson, leaving my father to come home to try and talk some sense into me in the form of his favorite sayings.

The “Hoops” he explained on countless occasions, are the things in life that are not firmly defined: emotions and thoughts, hopes and dreams, wishes and wants. I had little trouble developing a sensitivity to these things, as both of my parents were employed in the behavioral health field, criss-crossing the country while working in various aspects of VisionQuest, a high impact program for juvenile delinquents. Because of the intense nature of the work and the time commitment demanded of its employees, our family life was closely intertwined with the program. We even lived on company property. While my friends came home from school to baby-sitters and videogames, I threw down my books and ran up to the wilderness impact camp, where 50-60 juvenile delinquents struggled far from their families and neighborhoods in what amounted to a last chance for many to change the course of their difficult lives; As my neighbors spent their summers at the local pool, I was off in Wyoming with the same juveniles on a real wagon train, riding horses and learning right along side many of these youths about the value of being totally responsible for another living thing. Today they call it “Equine Assisted Therapy,” but to me it was just challenging and fun.

A firm understanding and acceptance of the “Squares,” or the rules, regulations, traditions, and responsibilities that give life its structure was much more difficult for me to come by, however. I struggled with structured environments such as school and work, which I did not feel left me with enough room to learn and succeed at that which I was passionate about. My teachers labeled me as “gifted,” but I barely managed to graduate from high school. I was convinced that I knew best, and that I could make it on my own. I moved out of my parents’ house at 17, took a full-time job, and rented an apartment with an older friend. Within six months, I was on the streets. I slept on couches and begged money off of sympathetic friends, but I found that everyone was quickly growing tired of my act. Fresh out of places to sleep and thoroughly humbled, I recognized that I needed to grow up and balance myself if I was to ever find any measure of happiness or success. I decided to enlist in the military.

The five years I invested as an active duty member of the United States Navy were the hardest of my life, but also the most rewarding. Suddenly, strangers were telling me when to wake up, where to go, and what color socks to wear. My trouble adjusting to a new lifestyle resulted in many nights cleaning latrines while my shipmates slept. Once I did adjust, however, I began to instantly realize success. I amazed my family and myself when I was designated as the top student in my avionics class and meritoriously advanced two ranks. I was even more proud, however, when I was nominated to compete with other top sailors in a separate early advancement board. Again, I was selected for advancement.

The list of accomplishments and the lessons that accompany my time in the service goes on. I served two years in Puerto Rico, immersing myself in a culture very different from any that I had ever encountered. I was determined to get the most out of the opportunity, and learned to speak, write and read in Spanish while spending the majority of my off-duty time with a surrogate family. I then served a two-year tour onboard a nuclear powered aircraft carrier, sailing around the world and deploying to the Persian Gulf in support of combat operations there. Here, I oversaw a shift of seven workers performing maintenance on millions of dollars of equipment in a high-pressure environment. Ultimately, I learned to function within, and even appreciate, life’s “Squares”.

Even though the hours onboard the ship sometimes stretched to 15 or 16 each day, I sacrificed what little free time I had in order to gain academic credit from Central Texas College. I set a goal to earn an Associate’s Degree before my military contract expired, and I achieved that goal. After transitioning back to civilian life, however, I faced the challenge of being financially independent while studying full-time. Because I could not afford to pay out-of-state tuition without borrowing heavily, I attended Pima Community College while working full-time in order to support myself and establish residency before continuing on to the University of Arizona.

I hope that my record at the University of Arizona speaks to the extent to which I have become a well-rounded individual. I have earned a 4.0 GPA while starting and supporting my own family, balancing an Honor’s-level course load, working as a bartender and as a childcare worker at a group home for adolescents, participating in a Psychology research lab, and serving as a mentor for a 15 year-old young man as part of the University of Arizona Mentor Program. I have worked very hard and sacrificed a lot of sleep to graduate a semester early while making ends meet financially, academically, and with my wife and daughter, and I am very proud of the results of that sacrifice.

I believe that the sum of my life experience amounts to a unique perspective on the world. My experiences growing up imbued me with a faith in people to change for the better, and I developed an interest in both juvenile justice and how the disciplines of law and behavioral science communicate with and inform each other. For this reason, I chose to major in psychology at the University. The years I spent in the military gave birth to a fascination with international relations and law. Both of these elements together have made the ethic of service an integral part of who I am as a person. I simply could not imagine myself in a career that is not in service to others.

I am aware that law is a unique profession, one steeped in the “Squares” of tradition and procedure, but ultimately applied to human beings and the “Hoops” of the human condition. An effective lawyer certainly must be able to appreciate, balance, and expertly integrate this dichotomy. I hope that after reviewing my application and qualifications, the admissions committee will recognize me as a candidate who has struggled and learned to achieve this ability, and is sufficiently dedicated, mature, and well-equipped for the challenges of law school and the legal profession.

User avatar
DallasJosh
Posts: 73
Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 5:26 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby DallasJosh » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:43 am

PMs sent.
Last edited by DallasJosh on Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kiwislug
Posts: 102
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 4:05 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby kiwislug » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:35 pm

apicelp wrote:I would also like to trade. Anyone who wants someone to look at theirs and is willing to do the same in return, let me know.

apicelp@hotmail.com

Paul

P.S. I am new to this site and don't know what "PM"'ing is...


Private message

zonda1
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:50 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby zonda1 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:52 pm

ne one else interested .. pm me pls ill send u my email

Thanks

XTC1212
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 11:31 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby XTC1212 » Sat Oct 18, 2008 3:50 pm

I'm interested in swapping too. PM me. I am 70% done with mine and hope to get some feedback.

kiwislug
Posts: 102
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 4:05 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby kiwislug » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:31 pm

PM me if you want an extra set of eyes to edit/give feedback. Mine is almost ready.

wwarren
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 3:10 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby wwarren » Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:57 pm

Looking for someone to edit/make suggestions for my Diversity Statement for UGA. 500 word's so not a monstrosity, but it is a first draft (Yikes!). Anyone want to tackle it?

amr105
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:27 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby amr105 » Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:34 pm

I would also like to swap. mine is still a work in progress but i would love some feedback. message me so we can swap emails. thanks!

heather87
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:33 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby heather87 » Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:39 pm

Anyone interested in reading the first draft of my PS so far? Everyone I've shown it too (family, prelaw advisor) seems to like the topic, but I'm just not feeling too great about it...would really appreciate an extra set of eyes!

hintoe
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2008 4:43 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby hintoe » Wed Oct 22, 2008 8:55 pm

I'd like to swap too... PM me if interested

Jenaimarre
Posts: 27
Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:41 am

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Jenaimarre » Fri Oct 24, 2008 3:34 pm

I'd like to swap as well. Send me a message.

User avatar
broach911
Posts: 53
Joined: Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:50 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby broach911 » Sun Oct 26, 2008 6:56 pm

Just finished a second draft and would like some input. Anyone interested pm me. I'm willing to swap.

User avatar
Ari Gold
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 09, 2008 8:25 pm

Re: Swapping personal statements

Postby Ari Gold » Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:23 am

Anyone on now wanting to swap?




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