Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

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bubblebat
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Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby bubblebat » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:14 pm

So, I am trying to decide on what topic to cover for Yale's 250 word essay. I've seen serious and goofy responses to this topic, so I am struggling to decide which of the following would be my best option. Each are open to modification, but I am more just trying to determine what topic/tone are preferential. I already talk about my accomplishments and diversity aspects all over the rest of my app, so this seems more like a space just to...write?

1. Boring Standard Topic on Essay Writing

The cursor blinked on-screen, surrounded by the vast emptiness of a blank Word document. The fifteen pages I had written in the preceding nine hours were gone, stolen away by a university-wide data error. Curled up in the library, bounded on either side by snack wrappers and encroaching anxiety, I closed my eyes. “What have I done?” I asked myself, setting my face in my hands. My desire to graduate in three years had driven me to take on a backbreaking course load, one which left me with 117 pages to write in the closing month of my final fall semester. The fifteen pages I lost were not a mere inconvenience - they represented a setback that would leave me doomed in the face of my monstrous schedule. As the reality set in, my eyes began to sting.

My body moved before I could mourn. The world around me faded away, replaced by the rhythmic clicking of my keyboard. Fifteen hours passed in a blur, the library’s stacks my only companion. When morning came, I had not only recovered the lost pages, but powered through the capstone thesis that comprised a third of my month’s assignments. I stumbled home on shaky legs, unaware that the product of my harrowing affair would earn me my department's award for best undergraduate thesis and a place at the University of Oxford. I collapsed in my bed, exhausted but sated by the knowledge that, regardless of the circumstances, I could persevere.

2. The Time I Met Darth Vader

When I met Darth Vader, he told me that I had a strong will for someone of such short stature. I shot back that he had a smart mouth for someone whose lips had been burnt off. Standing at only five feet tall and staring down a six foot eight inch actor in the crowded bowels of Disneyland, I wasn’t about to accept an insult from a character whose claim to fame came from an inability to use an inhaler. As an avid fan of the Star Wars franchise, I knew the tenets of the Dark Side. Even if Vader had his disagreements with Yoda, there was nothing in his creed to justify such an aggressive treatment of the vertically challenged.

Vader’s breathing reverberated off the walls, filling the silence that chased my words. I knew that he lacked the pre-recorded dialogue to respond, but I took pride in pretending I had struck him silent. As the Disney cast member behind us photographed my triumph, Vader collected himself. He walked forward, boots crashing against the floor like AT-ATs to the surface of Hoth. His mask drew close to my face, and I regarded my warped proportions in its surface.

“So, it is to be a battle of wills,” he rasped, clenching his fists. “Good. I look forward to our private interrogation.”

I smiled. “Only you could be so bold, Vader,” I returned, brushing past him with my giggling friends in tow. Vader stared after, bested by yet another plucky youth.

3. Clown School

This one isn't written up, but I attended clown school before undergrad. It would presumably start with something like, "Thus far, I have attended three post-secondary institutions: [Undergrad name], [Grad name], and a clown school in the Sierra Nevada mountains."
Last edited by bubblebat on Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Dcc617
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby Dcc617 » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:21 pm

I’d go with clown school. It’s interesting and says something about you. I think your other two are pretty bad.

That being said, I got waitlisted at Yale so take my advice with a grain of salt.

cavalier1138
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby cavalier1138 » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:25 pm

I would do clown school.

But if you go with Darth Vader, the dark side has tenets, not tenants. Unless "The Dark Side" is a hip new apartment complex.

bubblebat
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby bubblebat » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:30 pm

cavalier1138 wrote:I would do clown school.

But if you go with Darth Vader, the dark side has tenets, not tenants. Unless "The Dark Side" is a hip new apartment complex.


I mean, hey, I'd stay there.

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KENYADIGG1T
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby KENYADIGG1T » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:53 pm

cavalier1138 wrote:I would do clown school.

But if you go with Darth Vader, the dark side has tenets, not tenants. Unless "The Dark Side" is a hip new apartment complex.


As long as it's not Bay Area rent, I'm interested

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april_ludgate
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby april_ludgate » Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:49 pm

Clown school.

bubblebat
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby bubblebat » Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:59 pm

april_ludgate wrote:Clown school.


Here is version one of clown school. It is like eight words too long but I'll figure that out.
--

Of the post-secondary institutions I have attended, only clown school propelled me to the heights of fame. There, I became a folk hero, the only clown to defeat The Impossible Challenge.

The challenge itself is simple. Each clown is given an impossible task, the humor generated by their inevitable failure. When I undertook it, my proctor presented me with a plastic vase. She smiled like only a Master Clown could, stating, “The cure for cancer is stuck in there. Retrieve it.”

Recognizing that my hand would never fit through the narrow neck, I began slamming the vase against the ground. When its plastic refused to give, I turned to punching, pummeling its mouth like it had said something foul about my mother. Laughter filled the room, drawing a grin on my face. Impossible challenge or not, I was succeeding in the true goal of clownship - entertainment.

My grin faltered when a resounding crack silenced the room.

At first, I was certain my fingers had snapped. I froze and waited for pain, looking down only once I was sure that agony wasn’t coming. Instead of shattered fingers, I found a split in the vase. Hands trembling, I pressed my fingers into the break, prying the plastic open. As my fellow clowns looked on, I set my hand on the bottom of the vase, “retrieving the cure for cancer.”

Two dozen clowns erupted from their seats, swarming the stage. After countless clown generations, The Impossible Challenge had finally been bested. The party that followed was the most balloon dense in history.
Last edited by bubblebat on Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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april_ludgate
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby april_ludgate » Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:01 pm

bubblebat wrote:
april_ludgate wrote:Clown school.


Here is version one of clown school. It is like eight words too long but I'll figure that out.
--

Of the post-secondary institutions I have attended, only clown school propelled me to the heights of fame. There, I became a folk hero, the only clown to defeat The Impossible Challenge.

The challenge itself is simple. Each clown is given an impossible task, the humor generated by their inevitable failure. When I undertook it, my proctor presented me with a plastic vase. She smiled like only a Master Clown could, stating, “The cure for cancer is stuck in there. Retrieve it.”

Recognizing that my hand would never fit through the narrow neck, I began slamming the vase against the ground. When it’s plastic refused to give, I turned to punching, pummeling its mouth like it had said something foul about my mother. Laughter filled the room, drawing a grin on my face. Impossible challenge or not, I was succeeding in the true goal of clownship - entertainment.

My grin faltered when a resounding crack silenced the room.

At first, I was certain my fingers had snapped. I froze and waited for pain, looking down only once I was sure that agony wasn’t coming. Instead of shattered fingers, I found a split in the vase. Hands trembling, I pressed my fingers into the break, prying the plastic open. As my fellow clowns looked on, I set my hand on the bottom of the vase, “retrieving the cure for cancer.”

Two dozen clowns erupted from their seats, swarming the stage. After countless clown generations, The Impossible Challenge had finally been bested. The party that followed was the most balloon dense in history.


Infinitely better than the others.

38981928
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby 38981928 » Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:38 pm

Haha I love the clown school one! Wish I had something that interesting to write about!

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WinterComing
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby WinterComing » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:22 pm

+1 for clown school.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:29 pm

Yeah, the first one is really terrible and the second is meh, so go with clown school.

Edit: sorry, that wasn’t meant to sound as harsh as it does. Clown school is much better, that’s all.

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Rigo
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby Rigo » Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:07 pm

Clown is something fun they'd put in their class profile press release.

damask_rain
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Re: Yale 250 Word Essay Options (Serious vs. Darth Vader vs. Clown School)

Postby damask_rain » Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:00 pm

Clown school made me laugh. :)




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