So I have a few potential PS that also could be DS as well. Ultimately which one do you think should my PS should be? And which one should be my DS? Basically which two are the most interesting ? Thanks in advance ! oh and sorry for the "hard-luck" stories
Additional statement: I'm writing a GPA addendum [3.57] because of unforeseen circumstances where two of my close family members died during my sophomore year of college and where my mom lost her job about two months before I was supposed to go to school in my freshman year and I had to switch where I was going to college for financial reasons and started working 40 hours a week and lived out of a Recreational Vehicle so I could pay for tutition.
Essay One: Raised by a father who was severely abused by his parents growing up [his dad pointed a gun at him and threatened to kill him because my dads mom wanted to divorce him, his parents broke his hip and tried to rip out his eyes, ect] As a result, he has psychological damages and attachment style issues [drinking issues as well] Growing up, I have seen how his child hood has severely effected him and it causes me to be very forgiving of juvenile crime and delinquency. [My father participated in juevenile crime] As a result of watching the struggles of my father, I took some coursework in psychology and I volunteer for psychologically damaged children.
Essay option two: I am a first generation student raised by teen parents in a poor household where because there was not enough space, my bedroom was literally the dining room during the beginning of my childhood. My parents worked multiple part time jobs to make ends meet through most of my childhood and I decided I wanted to have a better life by going to college. Through my experiences of living in subpar enviornments [including my time living in a recreational vehicle] and after the tragedy [and personal guilt] of my grandfather dying homeless, I became exceedingly interested in affordable housing and how housing regulations can effect those of lower socioeconomic status. As a result I interned for my city government's affordable housing civil engineering project, am currently working with a professor now to publish work regarding the effects of housing regulations on minorities and disadvantaged groups, and I have Cofunded a business which sole purpose is to provide affordable housing developers with cheap auto-cad/blue prints for their disposal.
Essay Three: My other grandfather [not the one who was homeless] who was a police officer was involved in a very large trial case involving a fellow police officer [a friend of his] who killed an unarmed civilian using a tazzer during a domestic abuse call. My grandfather had to testify against him in court about how he felt his friend was unjustified in the amount of force he used during the call which led to the mans death. Ultimately, the police officer was sent to jail.
As crazy as it sounds, the family of the victim came to my grandfathers funeral years later and gave a speech about how his testimony against a fellow officer and his bravery of telling the truth caused them to change their opinion of police officers and legal personnel in general. And this had a large impact on my life and my decision to become a lawyer as I want to make the same sort of impact on other people's lives.
(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
3 posts • Page 1 of 1
- A. Nony Mouse
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Essays 1 and 3 sound like they aren't really about you, they're about other people, so I would avoid those. Essay 2 sounds like the most promising/most developed. Frankly I think it would work as a combined PS/DS (that is, if your PS addresses what a DS would address, I don't think you need to write two separate ones, though others might have better insight into that). I don't think either Essay 1 or Essay 3 work very well as DSes, though (again, because they sound more like they're about others, not you).
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A. Nony Mouse wrote:Essays 1 and 3 sound like they aren't really about you, they're about other people, so I would avoid those. Essay 2 sounds like the most promising/most developed. Frankly I think it would work as a combined PS/DS (that is, if your PS addresses what a DS would address, I don't think you need to write two separate ones, though others might have better insight into that). I don't think either Essay 1 or Essay 3 work very well as DSes, though (again, because they sound more like they're about others, not you).
Yeah you're right. Thanks!
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