Pozzo wrote:It's clear that you're going to do you here, and you very well may prove us all wrong. I really hope you do. However, if you can see through the exasperation that we're all experiencing, there actually is some constructive feedback here, which is what you say you're looking for. You've just summarily dismissed all of it. No one is saying you shouldn't do something risky, just that this isn't it. Reasons were given:
1. The prose need to be tighter. The sentences are kind of jerky. More generally, it's just not well written.
2. The topic is very cliché. These thoughts are not as unique or "risky" as you seem to think. If I had to guess, I'd guess Asha and the faculty suffer through literally dozens or hundreds of "religion" 250s each year.
3. The essay shows that you have little understanding of what you claim as your inspiration.
4. Despite choosing a topic that is intensely personal for many people, you manage to tell us very little about yourself or the world.
Please, try to take this advice and incorporate it into your next 250. Good luck, mate.
Actually A nony mouse repeatedly pushed his approach which I consider to be the opposite of risky as did others.
The "exasperation" as you put it was pretty much instantaneous.
And I did not sumarilly dismiss all of the advice. I made use of some of it including a bit of yours (that I shouldn't claim Edwards as inspiration, but only his imagery) although you didn't put it that way.
1. The somewhat jerky nature was addressed. I would edit it more, but it might not be able to fit gracefully into the 250 in its current form. This was a valid concern, I cited above as a reason I might not use it. I said something along the lines of that the most compelling reason that I had not to use it was that it was the second best version of itself that I had wrote. The better version was a 500ish word essay which worked well for undergrad applications.
2. That's definitely the first time anyone has put a number to it so this is clearly not a summary, but a misrepresentation of advice from earlier. It was earlier stated that it was cliche because the topic has been written about before in history not on 250's every year. I have not read a 250 on religion from a non-believer's perspective, but have only read a few hundred 250's online. Do others think there could be hundereds a year?
3. I don’t think the essay showed that. You provided no evidence of that at all.
4. I think I did, though it may not have worked. But even if it did, it probably would have failed to demonstrate it to you especially given your apparent hostility toward lay people talking about religion.