First draft harsh critique plz!

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Anonymous User
Posts: 301353
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

First draft harsh critique plz!

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jul 13, 2017 12:14 pm

My first draft weaves in the story of my mom who suffered from a severe medical accident and my life story as a human rights worker/volunteer. The intern doctor made a terrible mistake and after a few months when she found out after excessive bleeding and she went for a check up and found a piece of rotten wad, the intern apologized for inadvertently putting it in. However, the hospital wasn’t as apologetic; instead they accused my mom of voluntarily putting in the wab inside to frame the hospital for money. She had sought for legal assistance but as in many cases, law market was a Lemon Market. The lawyer that she reached strongly adviced her to go to psychiatrists for PTSD/mental diseases against her will and as a financially deprived first generation immigrant she did not have the money and time for the presumably “big” lawsuit. After this she had suffered from the repercussions of the accident. Ever since, being the only child to witness her sufferings, I have wanted to help people like her, especially those in the dead zone of welfare. I have done MANY MANY volunteer works ever since 7th grade. Then I will talk about how these experiences had really challenged me and changed me.

I thought the story is too private to publicly post but would really appreciate it if anyone could criticize my PS.

I have a relatively low LSAT score of 168, so I guess I will need to write a GOOD quality PS. I’d greatly appreciate harsh criticisms. PM me for PS swaps :) Thanks a lot!

User avatar
MediocreAtBest
Posts: 615
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:51 pm

Re: First draft harsh critique plz!

Postby MediocreAtBest » Thu Jul 13, 2017 4:08 pm

Your score is actually relatively high (to the entire group of lsat takers), it might be relatively low to the top scorers on TLS, but it's not a low score.

Anyway, send me what you have, I'll take a look at it and put in my two cents!




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