Please critique e-mail to remove GPA stipulations! I know these are tough letters to do correctly.

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HennessyVSOP
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Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2016 2:54 pm

Please critique e-mail to remove GPA stipulations! I know these are tough letters to do correctly.

Postby HennessyVSOP » Tue Mar 28, 2017 1:55 pm

Please don't quote! Thanks.

Edit: I included the acceptance from ▓▓▓ Law (despite no scholarship) because they are like 100 USWNR ranks higher than ♣♣♣ Law

I was excited to find that I received a Dean's Scholarship, as ♣♣♣ Law is my undergraduate university alma mater and I consider it one of my top choices for attending law school. I have since proudly told friends and family that I will likely return to ♣♣♣ for in Fall of 2017.

However, as the deadline to submit my Scholarship Conditions and Acceptance documents approaches, I feel certain reservations towards accepting all the terms of the scholarship. Specifically, I am writing to request that the 2.X GPA-contingent stipulation be reduced or removed from my scholarship offer. If I do choose to matriculate in the fall, I would like to attend ♣♣♣ for the full three years of law school. Without this scholarship, I would be unable to continue my attendance. I know that there are no guarantees in law school grading, and naturally I do not want my academic career cut short by an unforeseen event that may cause my grades to drop below the GPA requirement.

I have also been admitted to ░░░ Law, ███ Law and ͏͏͏͏▓▓▓ Law. ░░░ Law has offered me a renewable scholarship of $X0,000 with no stipulation, and a non-resident tuition waiver allowing me to pay in-state tuition; ███ Law has offered me a renewable $X0,000 scholarship with no stipulation and an out-of-state resident tuition discount of $X0,000. The guarantee that these scholarship will be renewable for a full three years barring any poor academic standing makes them attractive offers.

A number of my family attended ♣♣♣, and I have always been proud to call it my alma mater. I would be equally proud to continue my attendance for law school. But my interest is tempered by the GPA stipulations of that the conditional scholarship. Consequently, I respectfully request that it be removed.

Thanks you for your consideration!

bigchiefhoho
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2016 5:20 pm

Re: Please critique e-mail to remove GPA stipulations! I know these are tough letters to do correctly.

Postby bigchiefhoho » Tue Mar 28, 2017 5:13 pm

Sounds really good to me. I think it's clear about what you want and about your other options while remaining respectful and making it clear that they're your top choice. I used a fairly similar email pretty successfully when negotiating a scholarship to my top choice school, although I was negotiating quantity rather than stipulations.

Keilz
Posts: 2265
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 2:35 am

Re: Please critique e-mail to remove GPA stipulations! I know these are tough letters to do correctly.

Postby Keilz » Thu Mar 30, 2017 11:03 pm

Two typos

After the second Scholarship listed it should be, "the guarantee that these scholarships" not scholarship

"Proudly told friends i will likely return to ..." you said "for in fall 2017" remove for

Hopefully this is clear bc I'm on my phone :)




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