Transfer Personal Statement
Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2017 2:43 am
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Are you saying you don't have good grades? If so, I wouldn't go with this "beauty" PS.Anonymous User wrote:I believe my grades do not reflect my true ability
No. This isn't just flowery. You open by citing not 1 but 2 quotes from literary works. You build a personal statement on the theme of 'beauty' to no concrete end and dare to discuss the cringe-inducing cliche that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and then making an argument that it extends further than the eye (really?). Hungerford is cited both in the beginning and the end paragraph but has no function in the essay except as a form of name-dropping. Ultimately, you end this essay with this compelling line for the adcom to ponder:English major to blame for the flowery, but that's my style so that's okay.
I strongly suggest you throw away the first paragraph altogether and re-write this without any use of the words "eye", "beholder", and "beauty". You have some strong experience and an apparent interest in D.C. that you should write more about.With that said, I believe my grades do not reflect my true ability in light of this difficult time and the prospect of transferring to GW Law means success in beauty beyond the eye going forward.
I mean, it opens with a Shakespeare quote and reads as a discourse on the meaning of "beauty" as much as (perhaps more than) a transfer statement.mandychristine wrote:English major to blame for the flowery, but that's my style so that's okay. Would you mind elaborating on pretentious? As for Vandy --> GW rank-wise, GW is my transfer safety, but I'm not interested in being in Nashville for 2 more years. Thanks for the feedback.
Don't you dare blame your English major for that. You're giving us all bad names. You wrote a transfer statement that was about 10% law school and 90% bloated prose about the nature of beauty. An English major knows how to flex their writing style to fit a theme, not just how to wax poetic about any abstract subject. Incidentally, "that's my style" is the biggest writing cop-out known to man. You've had a semester and a half of training in legal writing; if you haven't figured out how to write concise, focused sentences, that's a failing, not a stylistic choice.mandychristine wrote:English major to blame for the flowery, but that's my style so that's okay. Would you mind elaborating on pretentious? As for Vandy --> GW rank-wise, GW is my transfer safety, but I'm not interested in being in Nashville for 2 more years. Thanks for the feedback.