Yale 250 advice - ED topic

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
throwaway92
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:00 pm

Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby throwaway92 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:04 pm

So I last minute decided I'm going to throw an app toward Yale because you never know unless you try, right?

I've just started working on my 250. I went out on a limb and decided to write about something very personal and completely unrelated to law school/education/career/interests.

This is only my first draft, so give me all your critiques (including telling me to scrap it completely and write about something else).

“Just one more minute,” I told myself. Sixty seconds later, “c’mon, you can do one more.” Forty-five minutes later, dripping in sweat and muscles burning, I stumbled off the elliptical machine, looking proudly at my wrist to see the number displayed on my heart rate monitor: 550. Five hundred and fifty more calories I was allowed to eat that day.

Living with an eating disorder is rarely obvious. Case in point: I have never been skeletally thin, starved myself or forced myself to purge. However, I have spent the greater part of three years meticulously tracking every gram of food and ounce of liquid entering my body and recording every calorie burned.

I thought this was what was required to be fit, healthy, and thin. What I didn’t realize was that I would lose myself in the process: turning down plans with friends for fear of not having access to “healthy options” and consistently choosing calories burned over memories made. I obsessed more about how I looked than what kind of character I was developing.

I’m recovering now. I haven’t tracked a single meal for over four months, and I exercise for fun, not punishment. However, disordered thoughts are hard to shake. Recognizing that sometimes my body needs sleep more than an intense workout causes me anxiety. Taking bites unassociated with a caloric number is a struggle. I won’t stop working toward recovery, though. Regaining normalcy, and with it my life, is worth the effort.


Thanks in advance.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10576
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:16 pm

In my opinion, this writing will not help your application to YLS. To be blunt, it does not put you in a positive light , and it is not an interesting topic.

throwaway92
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:00 pm

Re: Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby throwaway92 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:19 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:In my opinion, this writing will not help your application to YLS. To be blunt, it does not put you in a positive light , and it is not an interesting topic.


Thanks for the frank feedback. Would you say the writing itself is bad, the topic, or both?

mrgstephe
Posts: 442
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2016 3:20 pm

Re: Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby mrgstephe » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:22 pm

Seems more suited for a diversity statement, but even then, I would never write about an eating disorder for a diversity statement.

In my mind the Yale 250 is more of a showcase of your writing abilities, and this reads more like a run of the mill blog post.

Also definitely thought this was going to be about erectile dysfunction when I opened it hoping for a laugh. I did not find said laugh :(

throwaway92
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:00 pm

Re: Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby throwaway92 » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:25 pm

mrgstephe wrote:Seems more suited for a diversity statement, but even then, I would never write about an eating disorder for a diversity statement.

In my mind the Yale 250 is more of a showcase of your writing abilities, and this reads more like a run of the mill blog post.

Also definitely thought this was going to be about erectile dysfunction when I opened it hoping for a laugh. I did not find said laugh :(


well, you successfully made ME laugh because I didn't even think before posting that ED usually refers to something other than what I was writing about :lol:

anyway, thanks for your feedback. based on my two responses so far, I think I'll probably scrap it and start over. but since this was only the first draft, I'm not too worried (and quite honestly expected it)

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10576
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:25 pm

The writing is fine, but the topic, in my opinion, is not helpful because it leads the reader to see you as a person with an eating disorder. This topic might be more effective if there was a compelling & sympathetic reason for your obsession, but you offer no evidence in that respect.

mrgstephe
Posts: 442
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2016 3:20 pm

Re: Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby mrgstephe » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:28 pm

throwaway92 wrote:
mrgstephe wrote:Seems more suited for a diversity statement, but even then, I would never write about an eating disorder for a diversity statement.

In my mind the Yale 250 is more of a showcase of your writing abilities, and this reads more like a run of the mill blog post.

Also definitely thought this was going to be about erectile dysfunction when I opened it hoping for a laugh. I did not find said laugh :(


well, you successfully made ME laugh because I didn't even think before posting that ED usually refers to something other than what I was writing about :lol:

anyway, thanks for your feedback. based on my two responses so far, I think I'll probably scrap it and start over. but since this was only the first draft, I'm not too worried (and quite honestly expected it)


Not to beat a dead horse, but the opening sentence also drew me in
“Just one more minute,” I told myself. Sixty seconds later, “c’mon, you can do one more.”

aaaand then I saw 45 minutes later and :shock: :shock:

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10576
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Yale 250 advice - ED topic

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jan 31, 2017 3:29 pm

My best guess is that the Yale 250 is designed to offer one an opportunity to display strong writing skills, cleverness & insight.




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