Thoughts?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
prilaw2020
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:02 pm

Thoughts?

Postby prilaw2020 » Thu Jan 26, 2017 4:43 pm

I finished writing my personal statement. It's about a disease that has affected my life greatly and honestly changed the way I approach everything. The statement is about overcoming adversity and part of the adversity is the disease and the fact I didnt do well my first of college in part because of it. I do not focus the whole speech on GPA at all but its in the background. I was just wondering if its problematic to include the GPA things at all. I don't want to make the mistake of using the personal statement as a GPA addendum.

User avatar
Pozzo
Posts: 1583
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2015 3:36 pm

Re: Thoughts?

Postby Pozzo » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:01 pm

prilaw2020 wrote:I finished writing my personal statement. It's about a disease that has affected my life greatly and honestly changed the way I approach everything. The statement is about overcoming adversity and part of the adversity is the disease and the fact I didnt do well my first of college in part because of it. I do not focus the whole speech on GPA at all but its in the background. I was just wondering if its problematic to include the GPA things at all. I don't want to make the mistake of using the personal statement as a GPA addendum.

I wouldn't include GPA and I wouldn't make the PS into a GPA addendum. That is way too clinical for a personal statement. You're trying to tell a story here--let the committee see how you've improved and overcome this adversity.

User avatar
34iplaw
Posts: 3056
Joined: Wed May 04, 2016 2:55 am

Re: Thoughts?

Postby 34iplaw » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:08 pm

Pozzo wrote:
prilaw2020 wrote:I finished writing my personal statement. It's about a disease that has affected my life greatly and honestly changed the way I approach everything. The statement is about overcoming adversity and part of the adversity is the disease and the fact I didnt do well my first of college in part because of it. I do not focus the whole speech on GPA at all but its in the background. I was just wondering if its problematic to include the GPA things at all. I don't want to make the mistake of using the personal statement as a GPA addendum.

I wouldn't include GPA and I wouldn't make the PS into a GPA addendum. That is way too clinical for a personal statement. You're trying to tell a story here--let the committee see how you've improved and overcome this adversity.


100% agree. I think an essay about overcoming a disease that has profound influence on your life makes absolute sense... but the second you mention GPA I think it will ruin the power of the statement... you can say how you struggled with school, but do not use an acronym like GPA in your PS or an actual GPA... it'll be obvious enough to convey it hurt your grades without saying so.

DrGlennRichie
Posts: 142
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:22 pm

Re: Thoughts?

Postby DrGlennRichie » Fri Jan 27, 2017 1:13 am

prilaw2020 wrote:I finished writing my personal statement. It's about a disease that has affected my life greatly and honestly changed the way I approach everything. The statement is about overcoming adversity and part of the adversity is the disease and the fact I didnt do well my first of college in part because of it. I do not focus the whole speech on GPA at all but its in the background. I was just wondering if its problematic to include the GPA things at all. I don't want to make the mistake of using the personal statement as a GPA addendum.


There are examples of similar (Overcame disease) PS here. I have seen a few. Of ciurse they are different.

GPA can be introduces softly. You dont need to blame GPA on disease, but it seems like you overcame and GPA improved. So you can always say something "After disease you improved this, you were able to do that, your GPA improved greatly".

prilaw2020
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:02 pm

Re: Thoughts?

Postby prilaw2020 » Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:10 am

So explain life before the diagnosis and then life after? What adjustments I needed to make, etc.?

User avatar
34iplaw
Posts: 3056
Joined: Wed May 04, 2016 2:55 am

Re: Thoughts?

Postby 34iplaw » Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:25 pm

prilaw2020 wrote:So explain life before the diagnosis and then life after? What adjustments I needed to make, etc.?


IMO, talk about some key moment (perhaps moment of diagnosis, a moment where you failed from limitations imposed or difficulties caused by the disease) and jump off from there. Talk about how you overcame it. Given your topic, it should be fairly evocative, intimate, and personal. I think you could talk about life before the diagnosis, but I think it should be brief and done for contrast. A lot really depends on the disease. If you want any feedback or bounce anything more specific, feel free to PM me.




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.