PS - please critique!

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asdfjk11
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:10 pm

PS - please critique!

Postby asdfjk11 » Sat Jan 21, 2017 6:36 am

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Last edited by asdfjk11 on Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

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4LTsPointingNorth
Posts: 107
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:17 am

Re: PS - please critique!

Postby 4LTsPointingNorth » Sat Jan 21, 2017 11:32 pm

Your use of of the first person plural is strikingly odd. It feels like you're using the royal "we" at times. Just define who you were working with in the first instance or else write in first person singular.

Your tie-in to why you no longer want to be an engineer after your ode to engineering isn't strong enough. You need to devote more space narratively to why you want to transition to law if you're going to ground your personal statement in why engineering has had such a huge influence on your life.

"[P]rivacy, liability, and ethics" strikes me as a very odd list. Consider changing that.

Overall, this personal statement is 80% of the way there. Your writing is generally good, and with some tweaks it would be ready for prime time. Hopefully you're writing it early and are planning to apply to law school in September. Your chances of admission and of scholarship awards drastically improve the earlier in the application cycle you apply. Your chances now, for this application cycle, are at a nadir.

Best of luck.




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