DDeleted

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
Posts: 325890
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

DDeleted

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:48 am

.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Mon Jan 09, 2017 4:53 pm, edited 3 times in total.

AJordan

Bronze
Posts: 424
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2016 3:48 am

Re: PS feedback? Just tear it apart! Thanks!

Postby AJordan » Fri Jan 06, 2017 7:30 am

Pretty good first draft! I can definitely sense your personal voice in the statement which is a nice change from many personal statements that lack this focus.

Having said that, you really hammer home your accomplishments/experiences as a designer and I'm not sure you do enough to explain why you want to be a lawyer. The shift is abrupt in this aspect and especially jarring as you've spent most of your allotted space talking about design. If I were you, I would try another draft focusing more on the "in-between" aspect of your life without the design profession playing such an important role. Just spitballing but something like, "I faced this specific challenge (Mexico problem condensed) which cemented my status as an "in-betweener" which gave me the impetus to make a drastic change. Since this epiphany I have done XYZ that has furthered my exploration and reinforced my decision to make resolution of this complication the focus of my life. The best way I can achieve this goal is by refocusing my life toward law." Then maybe expound a bit on that. In that manner your statement flows:

1) Short presentation of background that leads to suspicion of identity difference/crisis
2) Specific Instance/period of realization that cements this feeling
3) Expounding on further research/action that has directed focus through this crisis toward law
4) Definitive resolution that this new direction is the path to which you are committed.

Again, just one option. I do feel this kind of an outline would flow more toward why you want to be a lawyer than what you currently have, which makes you look like a successful designer that is flippantly looking for a career change. By focusing on the feeling rather than your past profession you eliminate this obstacle and better allow an ADCOM to understand why you're applying to law school.

Also, tons of easy editing errors are present which you undoubtedly know, but until you have the form set I wouldn't worry too much about meticulously editing these things. Best of luck!

Anonymous User
Posts: 325890
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: PS feedback? Just tear it apart! Thanks!

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jan 06, 2017 9:25 am

.



Return to “Law School Personal Statements�

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.