(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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The topic seems fine to me, but I agree about the opening - the spring semester discussion on resilience is fine insofar as it provides context and a framing device for your life story, but the facts from first paragraph would fit in (in some form) after the third paragraph and, to me, it's not really doing enough work as an attention grabber right now to have it in the front.
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