PS Critiques on First Draft

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PS Critiques on First Draft

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Nov 29, 2016 3:51 pm

This is the 4th different personal statement that I've written, but the only one that has an idea that I like. Any input and critiques would be really helpful. I'd at least like to know if I'm on the right track with the topic I've decided to write about. Thanks in advance!



Fascination with the world around me is a characteristic that has always plagued my mind. To a near fault, I question and ponder about the thoughts and ideas presented to me no matter the given context. I challenge conclusions and, most importantly, ask why something is the way it is, even when seemingly unnecessary. I encourage lively debate but not only for the sake of fueling my argumentative personality, but rather to expand my capability of thought and insight.

The words of Einstein resonate loudly within me: “I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious.” This curiosity is what develops my intellectual capability on a regular basis. While growing up, I never really found myself challenged by the education that I received, which oddly enough became more of a detriment to my scholastic endeavors than one would have expected. Instead, I pursued knowledge outside of the classroom, constantly doing research on whichever topic seemed to manifest itself in my head that day. Sometimes these engagements of curiosity would last longer, such as a week or two at most, but more often than not it was simply my daily bit of learning.

These topics of interest came from everywhere imaginable. Whether it was overhearing my parents discussing the United States political system or simply seeing pictures of fractals in a mathematics textbook, nothing was too intimidating nor insignificant for me to not be intrigued by. When I was younger I was forced to wait until I was home to further investigate an idea that piqued my interest. As I grew older, easy access to technology around me in the form of laptops and cell phones would become the hub for my constant pursuit of information. While most of my friends were preoccupied with Twitter and Facebook, I was delving deep into Wikipedia and How Stuff Works articles. This addiction to the constant pursuit of information only grows my desire to fulfill my sense of fascination and has never left me feeling satisfied.

My mind is often preoccupied by my wandering thoughts and the over-analyzation of the happenings around me. At times I find myself trapped in a different world within my head, one in which my thoughts debate each other, contemplating the small nuances and aspects of my surroundings. I’ve been told that I sometimes “zone out”, but I like to think that my time spent pondering is as good a use of time as anything else. I find self-contemplation and examination of the world to be soothing.

I’ve always enjoyed the pursuit of knowledge and new insight into ideas to provide for good topics of conversation and bolster discussion. While many of my peers and close friends prefer to discuss sports or drinking, I often lose myself more in an insightful debate on the feasibility of Marxism or the economic principles and implications of Prospect Theory. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the activities and rigors of any regular undergraduate student, but I look to fulfill myself with more than just a four-year drinking binge.

Fortunately, my education at [undergraduate institution] has allowed me to pursue some of these interests that I find myself always fascinated with. In my studies of economics, I continually find my critical thinking and analytical skills challenged by abstract and theoretical concepts. The sense of enlightenment that I feel when learning a new theory and implications that it creates has been the driving force which finally engaged me as a student. Through my studies of financial institutions and markets, I’ve been able to study the real life application of these economic theories and see how they actually affect the financial structures of world economies on a daily basis. While I like to believe that I have learned a great deal, my curiosity and fascination with the concepts surrounding these topics only grow as I learn more.

In my time as an undergraduate student, I’ve been able to continue my pursuit of information, as well as feed the fascination and curiosity that defines me. My hope in life is to never stop learning, a principal that my mother always encouraged me to follow. With my undergraduate career wrapping up, I am forced to look for a new opportunity that provides me with this fulfillment. After being introduced to the concepts of law and legal studies through my family, as well as undergraduate courses, I find myself excited at the possibility of pursuing an education that would provide me the opportunity to focus on such a high level of critical evaluation, as well as continue to foster my sense of fascination and curiosity.

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Mr. Archer

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Re: PS Critiques on First Draft

Postby Mr. Archer » Fri Dec 02, 2016 1:26 am

Anonymous User wrote:This is the 4th different personal statement that I've written, but the only one that has an idea that I like. Any input and critiques would be really helpful. I'd at least like to know if I'm on the right track with the topic I've decided to write about. Thanks in advance!


Think about finding a new topic. This one isn't interesting. You're just saying you like to read and learn, which are pretty common characteristics of law students. You're also trying to make yourself look smart by putting down other people who are doing pretty normal things.



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