Updated PS - (Updated in the comments) Forum

[Anonymous User]

I posted my PS a couple of months ago and received a lot of very helpful suggestions. Now, I think that I am nearing completion of this (ignore grammar, I have someone lined up to correct grammar errors before submitting). The length will be good for most schools that I am applying to, other than Emory. Emory requires the PS to not run over 2 pages... this PS is 2 1/2 pages, so that specific version will have to be shortened a bit.

Thanks all!



On November 7, 2004 I attended a men’s basketball pre-season exhibition game between the Penn State Nittany Lions and East Stroudsburg University. Penn State was victorious, as was expected. I left the game, jumped in my car, and began the one-hour voyage back to my parents’ house in Northcentral Pennsylvania. Before entering the highway, I decided to stop at a gas station and convenience store to fill up my gas tank and purchase a Jones Soda. I’m sure that soda was refreshing, but I do not remember drinking it – the next thing I remember was lying on a hospital bed 30-35 days later.

I was in a state of total confusion. I remember people talking about a car accident, but I really could not understand what was being said. I was in complete denial and thought that everything was some type of nightmare – the kind of nightmare where you recognize that you are amidst a nightmare and know that the killer lurking downstairs is just a figment of your own imagination and not real. The kind of nightmare where you are conscious and can open your eyes and end the horror at any time. I thought that I was in that kind of nightmare, but no matter how many times I would open my eyes, nothing ever changed.

My parents brought me a laptop computer to use while in my bed. I downloaded AOL Instant Messenger and logged onto my screen name. I was flooded with messages from my friends, ecstatic that I was doing well enough to be on the internet. One of my friends, Brittany Metzger, was among those who messaged me. I decided to tell her about this horrible nightmare that I had. “I was in a car accident in this nightmare,” I said.

“…[NAME], please call me,” she said, speechless about how to handle the situation.

It was at that point when it began to hit me that this was not some kind of morbid dream, but this was a new reality. This was my new life, this was going to be another obstacle to hurdle and overcome. I found out that I had sustained a severe Traumatic Brain Injury, was life-flighted from the scene, and spent 10 days in a coma (the first night on life-support). In all, I spent 40 days in the hospital and up to 4.5 years in rehabilitative therapies (up until the summer after my sophomore year in college). I went from being a 2-3 sport athlete, to being fed through a feeding tube in my nose, and unable to walk or stand on my own. I have since regained much of my physical ability, after becoming a certified personal trainer to help aid in my recovery.

After experiencing my car accident and subsequent Traumatic Brain Injury, I attended high school year-round to graduate on time. The benefits of the immediate cognitive therapy derived through an in-depth study of academic subjects was very beneficial to my neurological recovery. Following my graduation, I continued my formal education by attending the Pennsylvania State University and completing a demanding course load. While at Penn State, I was one of only three undergraduate students selected to participate in a certification program to teach English to speakers of other languages (TESOL), culminating with a practicum experience in Otovalo, Ecuador. I arrived at the airport in Quito, Ecuador without knowing the Spanish language. I enrolled in a Spanish class that ran for 10 hours per week, along with my teaching course-load and other papers and projects that I had to complete while in Ecuador.

My life experiences have kept me humble while illustrating that I will not allow my brain injury to hold me back. My father is a civil attorney, thus I have grown up around the law and am well aware of the immense work-ethic that it takes to succeed as a law student and as a practicing attorney. My life experiences have created a strong desire to practice disability law upon graduation. I am blessed and fortunate to have made the recovery that I have experienced, and am passionate about advocating for and helping those who are less-fortunate than myself or who are still undergoing their own recovery.

I have gained invaluable real-world experience living on my own, eight hours from my nearest relative, and working since graduating college six years ago. I had to grow, both mentally and emotionally, during this period of time and it has only made me a stronger candidate for law school. I have been seriously considering law school since high school, and that desire has not left me after six years of teaching and running my Herbalife Nutrition business. I bring more to the table, such as business knowledge and a high-level of client care, at 29 years-old than I would have at 23 years-old. I am honored to be a candidate for admission at your school, and I look forward to visiting your school’s facilities in the near future.

[LikelyThrowaway]

I think it'd be valuable to explain what about your injury and recovery a. taught you something, and b. made you want to go into disability law. Both may seem self-evident, but spelling out exactly what you took away from the experience would let us get inside your thought process a bit better. As it stands, there's a story about a car crash without much analysis of what it meant for you.

Also, you should have someone whose got excellent grammar comb through your essay. There are a few mistakes that I noticed on a pretty cursory reading. For example, years old isn't hyphenated, and in these two sentences

I went from being a 2-3 sport athlete, to being fed through a feeding tube in my nose, and unable to walk or stand on my own. I have since regained much of my physical ability, after becoming a certified personal trainer to help aid in my recovery.

none of those commas should be there.

I'd say it's getting there but has some room for improvement. Good luck!

PS Just today I was googling about the recommended length for a PS, and the traditional wisdom on TLS is that you really shouldn't go over two pages without good reason, even if a school doesn't specifically prohibit it. It's not the end of the world if you do, but it's better to avoid if you can. So I'd just edit it down some and submit the same essay that you'll submit to Emory everywhere. Just my two cents.

[Anonymous User]

I think it'd be valuable to explain what about your injury and recovery a. taught you something, and b. made you want to go into disability law. Both may seem self-evident, but spelling out exactly what you took away from the experience would let us get inside your thought process a bit better. As it stands, there's a story about a car crash without much analysis of what it meant for you.

Also, you should have someone whose got excellent grammar comb through your essay. There are a few mistakes that I noticed on a pretty cursory reading. For example, years old isn't hyphenated, and in these two sentences

I went from being a 2-3 sport athlete, to being fed through a feeding tube in my nose, and unable to walk or stand on my own. I have since regained much of my physical ability, after becoming a certified personal trainer to help aid in my recovery.

none of those commas should be there.

I'd say it's getting there but has some room for improvement. Good luck!

PS Just today I was googling about the recommended length for a PS, and the traditional wisdom on TLS is that you really shouldn't go over two pages without good reason, even if a school doesn't specifically prohibit it. It's not the end of the world if you do, but it's better to avoid if you can. So I'd just edit it down some and submit the same essay that you'll submit to Emory everywhere. Just my two cents.

Thanks for the input. I think that I will take out the Ecuador bit and just edit my resume so that is on there, with the same information, and really reflect on going deeper on the two points you made --- making that connection, even if it seems fairly obvious to assume.

As for the grammar, I still keep in touch with my 12th-grade English teacher who is an absolute grammar stickler... he has already volunteered to proof-read it for me - he also proof-read my college papers and I never had a grammar problem with them.

[Anonymous User]

Ok, I just got sidetracked from my LSAT prep and worked on my PS and resume further. I'm trying to keep my PS at 2 pages and am currently one line over 2 pages (I assume that is fine, or I can drop the font by .5 and fit it on 2 pages?). Once I have my PS ready, I will send it to be grammatically fixed. ThanksL

Personal Statement

On November 7, 2004 I attended a men’s basketball pre-season exhibition game between the Penn State Nittany Lions and East Stroudsburg University. Penn State was victorious, as was expected. I left the game, jumped in my car, and began the one-hour voyage back to my parents’ house in Northcentral Pennsylvania. Before entering the highway, I decided to stop at a gas station and convenience store to fill up my gas tank and purchase a Jones Soda. I’m sure that soda was refreshing, but I do not remember drinking it – the next thing I remember was lying on a hospital bed 30-35 days later.

I was in a state of total confusion. I remember people talking about a car accident, but I really could not understand what was being said. I was in complete denial and thought that everything was some type of nightmare – the kind of nightmare where you recognize that you are amidst a nightmare and know that the killer lurking downstairs is just a figment of your own imagination and not real. The kind of nightmare where you are conscious and can open your eyes and end the horror at any time. I thought that I was in that kind of nightmare, but no matter how many times I would open my eyes, nothing ever changed.

My parents brought me a laptop computer to use while in my bed. I downloaded AOL Instant Messenger and logged onto my screen name. I was flooded with messages from my friends, ecstatic that I was doing well enough to be on the internet. One of my friends, Brittany Metzger, was among those who messaged me. I decided to tell her about this horrible nightmare that I had. “I was in a car accident in this nightmare,” I said.

“…[NAME], please call me,” she said, speechless about how to handle the situation.

It was at that point when it began to hit me that this was not some kind of morbid dream, but this was a new reality. This was my new life, this was going to be another obstacle to hurdle and overcome. I learned that I had sustained a severe Traumatic Brain Injury, was life-flighted from the scene, and spent 10 days in a coma (the first night on life-support). In all, I spent 40 days in the hospital and up to 4.5 years in rehabilitative therapies (up until the summer after my sophomore year in college). I went from being a 2-3 sport athlete, to being fed through a feeding tube in my nose, and unable to walk or stand on my own. I have since regained much of my physical ability, after becoming a certified personal trainer to help aid in my recovery.

My life experiences have kept me humble while illustrating that I will not allow my brain injury to hold me back. My father is a civil attorney, thus I have grown up around the law and am well aware of the immense work-ethic that it takes to succeed as a law student and a practicing attorney. My life experiences have created a strong desire to practice disability law upon graduation. I am blessed and fortunate to have made the recovery that I have experienced, and am passionate about advocating for and helping those who are less-fortunate than myself or who are still undergoing their own recovery.

I have gained invaluable real-world experiences while working, since graduating college six years ago, that make me a stronger candidate for law school. As a business owner, I have developed and continually foster a client-centered focus with high client care. Extensive training and experience in this area should be beneficial when developing professional relations with potential clients at clinics and after graduation. I have more to offer at 29 years of age than I would have at 23, and am honored to be a candidate for admission at your law school. I look forward to visiting your school’s facilities in the near future.