Character & Fitness Addendum Feedback?

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Character & Fitness Addendum Feedback?

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Jul 18, 2016 11:56 pm

Any help or review on these would be much appreciated!

Disturbing the Peace Infraction: In October 2012, I received a citation for 484(a) PC. The charge was dismissed on Motion of DA/Court in Interest of Justice (1385 PC) in February 2013. I successfully completed a youth offender program as part of the court conditions and have not committed any non-traffic related offenses since.
The experience changed me. Due to the early exposure to such circumstances, I understood what it meant to no longer be a minor -- I was at complete fault for the offense, and it was my responsibility to deal with the consequences. Since that day, I have been adamant regarding honesty, transparency, and financial responsibility.

DUI Misdemeanor: On March 7, 2015, I was issued a D.U.I. citation in Santa Barbara County by the CHP for driving under the influence of alcohol. My license was suspended until December 2015 upon my completion of the Zona Seca DUI First Offender program. Court probation terms stand until May 28, 2018.

My arrest showed me how serious of an issue driving while under the influence is. I had not only endangered my own safety, but also the lives of everyone else on the road that night. I did not take the offense lightly -- it affected all facets of my life immensely. After the completion of my program, I continued to address the issue of substance abuse in the community through volunteering with Common Ground -- serving veterans and the homeless. Speaking with individuals undergoing rehabilitation pushed me to look at my past decisions as a source of constructive critique upon which to improve myself. My efforts remain in the present in my work with those suffering from substance abuse and related underlying issues through my involvement with AmeriCorps/United Way. I cannot take back getting behind the wheel that night, but I can continue to grow and progress beyond that isolated incident.

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rpupkin

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Re: Character & Fitness Addendum Feedback?

Postby rpupkin » Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:09 am

Disturbing the Peace Infraction: In October 2012, I received a citation for 484(a) PC. The charge was dismissed on Motion of DA/Court in Interest of Justice (1385 PC) in February 2013. I successfully completed a youth offender program as part of the court conditions and have not committed any non-traffic related offenses since.
The experience changed me. Due to the early exposure to such circumstances, I understood what it meant to no longer be a minor -- I was at complete fault for the offense, and it was my responsibility to deal with the consequences. Since that day, I have been adamant regarding honesty, transparency, and financial responsibility.

A few critical comments:

    What does "early exposure to such circumstances" mean?

    You understood what it meant to no longer be a minor? Huh? Are you saying you regularly disturbed the peace as a minor?

    What do "honesty, transparency, and financial responsibility" have to do with disturbing the peace?

I apologize for the bluntness, but your "the experience has changed me" passage is incoherent. Consider disclosing what you actually did to disturb the peace. And then write a "changed me" passage that lines up with whatever it is you did.

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bmathers

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Re: Character & Fitness Addendum Feedback?

Postby bmathers » Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:15 am

Part of maturing and growing up is taking 100% complete responsibility for your actions and the consequences thereof. To be blunt - don't beat around the bush. disclose what you did, keep it short and frank. Or maybe I have no idea. Disturbing the peace is not going to affect an admission, and such beating around the bush is annoying

Anonymous User
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Re: Character & Fitness Addendum Feedback?

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:16 am

A few critical comments:

    What does "early exposure to such circumstances" mean?

    You understood what it meant to no longer be a minor? Huh? Are you saying you regularly disturbed the peace as a minor?

    What do "honesty, transparency, and financial responsibility" have to do with disturbing the peace?

I apologize for the bluntness, but your "the experience has changed me" passage is incoherent. Consider disclosing what you actually did to disturb the peace. And then write a "changed me" passage that lines up with whatever it is you did.


Definitely appreciate brutal honesty, especially on this matter. Thank you.

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rpupkin

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Re: Character & Fitness Addendum Feedback?

Postby rpupkin » Tue Jul 19, 2016 12:21 am

DUI Misdemeanor: On March 7, 2015, I was issued a D.U.I. citation in Santa Barbara County by the CHP for driving under the influence of alcohol. My license was suspended until December 2015 upon my completion of the Zona Seca DUI First Offender program. pending my participation in the Zona Seca DUI First Offender Program, which I completed in December 2015. Court probation terms stand until May 28, 2018.

My arrest showed me how serious of an issue driving while under the influence is. I had not only endangered my own safety, but also the lives of everyone else on the road that night. I did not take the offense lightly -- it affected all facets of my life immensely.After the completion of my the DUI First Offender program, I continued to address the issue of substance abuse in the community through volunteering with Common Ground -- serving veterans and the homeless. Speaking with individuals undergoing rehabilitation pushed me to look critically at my past decisions. as a source of constructive critique upon which to improve myself. My efforts remain in the present in my I continue to work with those suffering from substance abuse and related underlying issuesthrough my involvement with AmeriCorps and the United Way. I cannot take back getting behind the wheel that night, but I can continue to grow and progress beyond that isolated incident.


This one is much, much better. A few suggested edits, above.



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