law school personal statement (please critique)

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
venus1173
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Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:47 am

law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby venus1173 » Tue Jun 16, 2015 8:41 am

This my starting rough draft, be as brutally honest as you can. Thank You.

"That will never happen to me." Is what I thought when I would hear about rapes in the news and on social media. I always promised myself that I would never get too drunk or wear inappropriate clothing or too revealing clothing. I thought my twisted view of thinking would protect me from getting sexually assaulted. I was very wrong. In March of 2012, at the age of twenty-one, I was sexually assaulted. And, for those next few months afterwards I definitely struggled.
While a woman is dealing the affects and the anguish of the unlawful act of rape her first natural instinct is to withdraw herself from the world. For the first few weeks after the spring semester of my junior year I did that. I thought my whole life was over and that I should just give up and not return and finish school because there was no way you can face the sight of people again. It was during that time period that I made the not so smart decision to withdraw from all of my courses I registered for for fall semester of my senior year.
After a few weeks of throwing myself a pity party, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and make the most of this semester away from school. I began contacting local law offices asking can I do a short term internship until I return to school. I interned at a local divorce and bankruptcy law firm.
When I returned to Georgia State University I felt as if I had this new fire that was lit up under me. Yes, something really horrible and tragic happened to me, but life goes on and we have to try to make the best of any situation that we are dealt. That spring semester of my senior year I jumped back in with both feet. I felt renewed, like I got the chance to start over again. My last three semesters at Georgia State University turned out to be some of the very best semesters I did academically well.
This sexual assault has had a profound impact of my life. There is not a day that goes by that it has not has some type of effect on my way of life. Being sexual assaulted has definitely made me a stronger, confident person. It has also change my twisted view of what I thought rape was. No, you do not have to be dressed a certain way nor do you have to be in a certain state of mind to be raped.
I am no longer a “victim” of what happened to me. Yes, what happened to be was a tragic and horrendous thing, but I have the strength and the will to not let it define me. By no means am I downplaying rape or how I struggled in the past to get past it, but at some point on the road to recovery you have to make a choice between being a victim and being a survivor. I choose to be a survivor.

CanadianWolf
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Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:15 am

While writing about a traumatic event in one's life can be a cathartic experience, solely focusing on this event defines one in a very narrow manner. Try to enlarge your law school personal statement to encompass other aspects of your life. As written, the reader only knows you as a sexual assault victim.

CanadianWolf
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Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:16 am

In short, you need to develop a broader theme.

CanadianWolf
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Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2015 10:36 am

Another thought: This is better as a diversity statement than it is as a personal statement.

venus1173
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:47 am

Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby venus1173 » Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:50 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:While writing about a traumatic event in one's life can be a cathartic experience, solely focusing on this event defines one in a very narrow manner. Try to enlarge your law school personal statement to encompass other aspects of your life. As written, the reader only knows you as a sexual assault victim.



Thank you, I'll try that.

venus1173
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Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:47 am

Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby venus1173 » Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:53 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:While writing about a traumatic event in one's life can be a cathartic experience, solely focusing on this event defines one in a very narrow manner. Try to enlarge your law school personal statement to encompass other aspects of your life. As written, the reader only knows you as a sexual assault victim.



Which way do you suggest I go, I'm kind of at a stone wall, besides this, I have no idea what to write about

CanadianWolf
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Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:27 pm

If you're stuck on this topic, then expand it into a "Why I want to become an attorney" statement. This theme will allow you to incorporate one or two other reasons motivating you to want to practice law. This should not be difficult since you have worked in a law firm.

CanadianWolf
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Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:31 pm

As written, your rough draft personal statement is interesting & effective, but much better as a diversity statement than as one's personal statement.

CanadianWolf
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Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:43 pm

As a crime victim, maybe you've developed a perspective that makes you want to practice criminal law or to become a victim's advocate. Family law can also be relevant. Or, that it is important for one who has experienced a traumatic event to have compassionate counsel. Law suits, for example, can be traumatic experiences for some--although not to the same extent as being an assault victim. The point is that this experience has made you a better person--more compassionate & more empathetic--to others going through a difficult time in their lives. Being a lawyer is more than just knowing the law.

venus1173
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 8:47 am

Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby venus1173 » Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:49 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:As a crime victim, maybe you've developed a perspective that makes you want to practice criminal law or to become a victim's advocate. Family law can also be relevant. Or, that it is important for one who has experienced a traumatic event to have compassionate counsel. Law suits, for example, can be traumatic experiences for some--although not to the same extent as being an assault victim. The point is that this experience has made you a better person--more compassionate & more empathetic--to others going through a difficult time in their lives. Being a lawyer is more than just knowing the law.



Okay. Thanks a lot

CanadianWolf
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Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:05 pm

"What events in your life have significantly affected your development ? " is another theme that can incorporate your experience.

GospelLeague
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Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby GospelLeague » Wed Jul 01, 2015 10:40 pm

I'd avoid sounding like a victim, but rather how this traumatic event shapes you, changes your personalities and perspectives (in a way favorable to law school admission), and how your internship in a law firm solidifies those changes and makes you determined to become an attorney.

What happens to you is not important, but rather how that event makes you want to be an attorney.

maile
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Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 1:25 pm

Re: law school personal statement (please critique)

Postby maile » Mon Jul 27, 2015 1:31 pm

This could be a very powerful and convincing part of your admissions package if you focus on how it has changed you, especially if used as a diversity or grades addendum (if you need one). As it stands, it could be more directed at what you did after the event and what you plan to do in the future. Two or three sentences is the most I'd spend taking about the negative aspect of your experience since people are aware how traumatic sexual assault is and using that experience as your starting point is enough to give them an insight on how much you've grown/developed and have overcome .




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