Struggling for a month.. Need help!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )

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Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:46 am

Struggling for a month.. Need help!

Postby michellemoon0708 » Tue Jan 13, 2015 12:55 am

Personal Statement 1 - More about how I can contribute to the class and why my experience and background are valuable

Ms. Yoon has walked in with very careful step. She seems nervous as she is not used to this professional service. It was a Volunteer Income Tax Service during my Master’s program in San Diego State when I first met Ms. Yoon. VITA is a free Tax Preparation program assisting poor people in the community. While serving as a Korean language interpreter I’ve met several North Koreans. Ms. Yoon was one of them. She escaped from North Korea to pursue freedom from Dictatorship Governmental oppression. She was working as an assistant of acupuncture at Korea town barely making daily ends. Having a freedom to achieve her dream of getting a license and opening up her own practice keeps her going after long day of work.

I was one of the young generations opposing the reunification due to its significant cost. Hearing directly about financial difficulties and oppression over Human right from Dictatorship government shifted my indifference toward North Korea as feelings of empathy. I felt the similarity between me and her. I myself wanted to expand my dream and not being discriminated in the corporation and society only because I am a female. It is quite common that women is expected to retire once they get married or having a child in Korea. It was a big sacrifice to stay away from my family; however, my desire and drive towards my career aspiration has been motivating me to strive for accomplishing my dream in US.

I believe going to law school would allow me to be an arbitrator to coordinate to this life-long aspiration between North and South Korea. S. Korean President Park’s has proposed a reunification tax to prepare for the future reunification. It signals reunification with North Korea is possible and may come in very near time, and if so, it is phase to start discussing realistic policies. However, the reunification tax idea has limitation on how practical and plausible as a detailed roadmap. Most South Koreans support reunification but don't want to pay for it.
Instead I suggest Korean Government to employ tax incentives to boost the infusion of foreign investment. North Korea’s human and natural resources can attract many foreign investments. Reunified Korea would provide a great opportunity for U.S. Corporations come in and utilize these untapped resources. Rare resources can be used in the manufacturing of high-tech goods from Microsoft’s iPads to Ford’s new hybrid car. North Korea would need lawyers to assist in their legal transformations and U.S. corporations would need lawyers to interpret and employ International Law. My fluency in multiple languages, overseas experience, and understanding of the world's’ legal systems as well as their political and cultural contexts would allow me to develop a unique niche. As an attorney I will be able to deliver deeper and broader assisting this whole process.

Working as a Public Tax Accountant at Deloitte has exposed me with business transactions in diverse sectors and trained me to be able to manage multiple clients simultaneously under budgeted hours. At Deloitte, majority of my clients are a big corporations having multiple subsidiaries overseas and conducting numerous cross-border activities and business transactions. It is my primary job to locate proper tax law to assist a strategic plan. At Deloitte, majority of my clients starts their business at Cayman Island, a tiny country located in Caribbean seas. It is called “tax havens” among tax professionals because they don’t impose income tax on sources from overseas.

I believe my hands-on experiences and aspiration qualifies me to contribute a value to the class. Going to law school would provide me with opportunity to further my expertise in Tax. I expect it as a chance to learn about other related areas of law I can leverage out and play a major role in the international business.

Personal Statement 2 - I was thinking of using it as a diversity statement. Showing more about my personality.

“Wing will never be broken as long as there is a desire to fly. It was a little boy picking up toys from the trash bin to fill up hungry stomach. It is the boy who was invited to speak today at this place.” The first thing I’ve noticed of him was slightly off-positioned left eye. It was during the ALPFA meeting during my master’s program at San Diego State when I first met Paul. ALPFA is an on-campus organization for the minority students. This cliché story from someone who represents the firm I dreamed of was enough to catch my attention.

He lost his eyesight while serving in the army. Overcoming numerous obstacles as a Mexican immigrant particularly reminded me of the hardship I had to go through as a foreign student. It was a huge disadvantage having a limitation on the employment under student visa and a qualification for financing loan without any co-signer. I had to demonstrate why I am more capable than other U.S. student to find a sponsor for the work visa. It was extremely hard to find a company willing to pay thousands of dollars of legal fees involving complex application procedure as well as an uncertainty of limited quota on number of employment permitted for the foreign students. I’ve realized having a proper knowledge in law and complying appropriately is vital in U.S. society.

It was Paul’s influence to get me interested in VITA service. Even after getting a M.B.A degree and working for Goldman Sachs, one of the best investment banks he found a need for pursuing law degree while he continued to serve an advisor of VITA as well as a mentor for many minority students. Participating in VITA was an opportunity to get to know the fascination of tax and the power of the law. While interviewing people and locating the applicable credit or law to each case I was able to apply what I merely memorized from the class to create an actual outcome. Interviewing each client allowed me to get engaged in each situation and think under their point of view. I could witness how one line item to memorize for the final exam actually determines someone’s life. Most people who came to the center were immigrants from third developing country making far below minimum wage. My clients included a single Philippiano mom with kids, 70 years old Hispanic women who worked as a housemaid getting paid in Cash only, a Couple divorced having 5 kids living at the homeless shelter. Jose Cerritos was one of clients didn’t make any money for past few years and just got a waiver from bank for his loan. Per IRC section I, a relief of debt is defined as an income. It was certainly more than a luck to recall the little cheat sheet how to calculate Adjusted Gross Income for the individual federal taxation class and Section 108, an exception under severe economic hardships. Without this exception he could’ve been imposed huge liabilities. These rules can make a significant impact on their lives. U.S. Government employs various tax strategies in order to give an advantage to low income population. However, people coming to the center are not able to take advantage of these benefits because they can’t afford to, don’t know how to or don’t want to. It takes 12 hours for them to prepare the form 1040 which I can file and submit electronically in less than 40 minutes.

This experience led me to opt for tax professional position. It was Paul’s recommendation to Deloitte I’ve got an interview opportunity. While working 7 days a week consisting 80-100 hours during the tax season the example from Paul has been my inspiration to stay with my dream. It is quite common for new hire to quit in less than 2 years at Public Accounting Firm. Out of 12 colleagues started together I am the only one who remains in my level. People are wondering why I am taking even further risk to go to law school with enormous financial burden while I could stay securely with one of the big 4 accounting firms and move up to management level during the time I would have to spend at the law school. What continues to hold me is the lesson from Paul and my desire to become a position where I can have an authority to better support needs, wants, beliefs and values of people I’ve met during the VITA service. I came to understand why Paul finally determined to pursue further career step in law. Becoming a lawyer would mean to achieve a promise to myself to continuously develop my intellectual aspiration.
Although my clients are high-net wealth individuals and corporations at Deloitte, my goal and attitudes same as when I was working at the VITA center. I believe my background and experience would qualify me to serve as a well-balanced mediator in the class as well as in the society.

Please help me... my family is getting sick of hearing me talking about the same story again and again, lol. I am ready to take any critique.

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Re: Struggling for a month.. Need help!

Postby UnicornHunter » Tue Jan 13, 2015 1:01 am

Honestly, I would rethink law school. It's pretty clear from your writing that English is not your first language. Find something to do for a couple of years while you work on mastering your verb tenses and grammar. As a bonus, it will give you something cool to write about too.

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