Personal Statement Regarding Science and Law

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )

Please Rate the Personal Statement From 0-10 (0 being bad and 10 being ivy league material)

Poll ended at Mon Jan 05, 2015 5:31 pm

1
3
33%
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33%
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0
No votes
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1
11%
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0
No votes
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1
11%
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1
11%
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0
No votes
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No votes
 
Total votes: 9

furloww
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2015 5:22 pm

Personal Statement Regarding Science and Law

Postby furloww » Thu Jan 01, 2015 5:31 pm

I have interests in becoming a Patent Lawyer, Energy Lawyer, or Environmental Lawyer. Copied on this page is my personal statement. Please do not plagiarize my work, because I've worked hard on it. I just want a critique on the personal statement and ways of improving it.

Science- this is a word that sums up my undergraduate career; this single word transcends my passion for forming a future in law that I continue to be so optimistic for. A passion informed by the importance of current advancement, so that a better tomorrow can be made possible, by the sacrifices that so many have made today. My generation, the millennial generation, is often stereotyped as entitled, lacking money, and apathetic towards current news and politics; however, I believe that there is a light in this generation, and to me, that is rooted in our willingness to make sacrifices now, so that a better tomorrow can be possible.
To this end, I have worked and continue to work in the Biomedical Research Center at The University of Texas Health Science Center at Tyler for part of my undergraduate career, taking part in scientific research and frequently witnessing scientific breakthroughs. Beyond working as part of a research team, I took coursework at The University of Texas at Tyler, earning a Bachelor of Science in Biology degree and graduating with honors. During this time, the exuberance of fellow researchers proved contagious; my experiences with them affirmed my interest in working alongside the research community, but from the legal side of the operations. I wanted to take part in the sacrifice that they continuously make now, so that a better tomorrow can be possible. This passion for law is not rooted in money or power, but instead is rooted in my passion for this intersection between law and science. I am especially interested in practicing patent law, energy law, environmental law or healthcare law.

Seeking to explore these disciplines in college, I took elective courses such as Comparative Politics, Immunology, and Conservation Biology so that I could deepen my understanding of the relationship between science and law. It was from these classes and the readings of the different legal and science cases that I got a simple understand of truly how law and science are interconnected. I built upon the knowledge gained from these classes by participating in UT System Louis Stokes Alliances for Minority Participation Summer Research Academy, conducting an individual scientific research project. I studied the very ecologically and medically important harvester ants (known as Pogonomyrmex spp.), assessing their dispersal patterns and gene flow abilities. Through countless hours of work, I uncovered patterns that explained these ants’ reactions to natural disasters, such as a wildfire that affected the Central Texas region in 2011. The myriad questions I thought of throughout this research highlighted the importance of legal representation within science, and furthered my desire to fulfill such a role. For instance, if this research were to prove groundbreaking, in the sense that it answered pressing questions that were previously unanswered, then I would expect to work with attorneys exhibiting at least a foundational familiarity with the scientific community, so that I could relate to him my research findings and trust him in that, I would know that I was not being taken advantage of.

Throughout my life, numerous challenges have occurred, which has helped me learn, develop, and become stronger. Challenges that included making sacrifices, in areas of relationships, sleep and wellness, and money, so that my end goals, such as academic excellence could be achieved. My story, though, is a collection of a much bigger picture, called the dream of America. An American dream that allows a young college student from East Texas pushing buggies in the Walmart parking lot to aspire to one day become a lawyer with a scientific discipline. A dream that requires to overcome great obstacles, for example the long hours in the library that were endured in my undergrad. Trying to balance studying organic chemistry and its numerous synthesis reactions, and a huge political science term paper, while remembering that I had an eight hour shift the following day. It was when exhaustion of my body was well passed, that the drive devoted in becoming a lawyer and helping people allowed me to push me on to complete the task at hand. These pains and great obstacles though are smaller in relation to the United States, which has faced numerous obstacles through her history that has arisen questions. For example, questions that rise when I ponder what our founding fathers had in mind when developing the United States’ constitution. It strikes me that they could not possible have fathomed how their ideals would be interpreted in this day and age. Interpretations and decisions that have had to be made regarding the relevance of that document when applied to the scientific realm, in issues such as DNA rights (Supreme Court Case 12-398 Association for Molecular Pathology v. Myriad Genetics, Inc.) and other modern life issues.

As I seek admission to The University of Texas at Austin School of Law, I am prepared to fight and make sacrifices along the way, so that I can get the most out of your program. With me I will bring a strong set of values, leadership (Eagle Scout), academic excellence, ethics, and a broad scientific background that will help strengthen your student body and program. As science seeks to understand life’s mysteries, law has the opportunity to work alongside the scientific community, attacking questions that crop up in scientific fields such as genetics and biotechnology. More than mere lip service, my actions point to my potential as a lawyer. I have exhibited a series of sacrifices and I hold a passionate awareness of the importance of legally representing the scientific community in its, current scientific advancements. I hope to enable future generations to reap the benefits that were sown by the sacrifices that I will make.

User avatar
Hand
Posts: 3519
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 11:33 am

Re: Personal Statement Regarding Science and Law

Postby Hand » Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:06 pm

furloww wrote:My story, though, is a collection of a much bigger picture, called the dream of America.


^^ Brought tears to my eyes. The playful juxtaposition of "myriad questions" with the name of the plaintiff in your favorite supreme court case is also 10/10.

User avatar
A. Nony Mouse
Posts: 22806
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:51 am

Re: Personal Statement Regarding Science and Law

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:27 pm

hereisonehand wrote:
furloww wrote:My story, though, is a collection of a much bigger picture, called the dream of America.


^^ Brought tears to my eyes. The playful juxtaposition of "myriad questions" with the name of the plaintiff in your favorite supreme court case is also 10/10.

Don't troll the PS forum.

User avatar
Superstaranonymous
Posts: 52
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2014 2:29 pm

Re: Personal Statement Regarding Science and Law

Postby Superstaranonymous » Mon Jan 05, 2015 8:57 pm

.
Last edited by Superstaranonymous on Tue Jul 28, 2015 8:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Ramius
Posts: 2005
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:39 am

Re: Personal Statement Regarding Science and Law

Postby Ramius » Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:22 pm

So. Much. Resume. Dump.

All I learned in this statement is how highly you think of yourself, with nothing substantive to back up those beliefs. You talk at length about the things you've been a part of, the classes you've taken, and the experiences you've undergone in your life, and yet I learned nothing from you that I couldn't postulate from your transcripts and resume. Further, this statement reads like someone with an inferiority complex toward the people its directed at. I feel like you think the people who read this will thing you're subpar for one reason or another (maybe GPA/LSAT?) and you're trying too hard to shine on a luster that won't otherwise show. Selling yourself in a positive light is the goal of the PS, but trying too hard and coming off as desperate and hyperbolic is off-putting.

Tone down the personal rhetoric, simplify your verbosity, and focus your message much, much more into a single theme that makes me think, "this person brings something valuable to my classroom."




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