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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
appleslices
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:20 am

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Postby appleslices » Tue Dec 23, 2014 10:30 pm

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Last edited by appleslices on Fri Dec 26, 2014 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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theleastdiverse
Posts: 43
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2014 10:45 pm

Re: Rough Draft - Personal Statement (please critique!)

Postby theleastdiverse » Tue Dec 23, 2014 11:05 pm

I gave it a quick read. couple suggestions:


- To me the topic isn't bad. I understand how your experiences may have led you to want to work in public interest law. However, phrases such as 'this volunteer experience solidifed by desire to work public interest', etc... sound really cliche and insincere. Maybe find a different way to link these concepts.

- Like I said, I just gave it a quick read, however your writing style is lacking. Not necessarily grammatically, but stylistically. I don't have time to read through and critique this element, but I suggest you get someone to. Highly suggest. It sounds more like the writing those kind of smart kids compose in high school




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