(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )

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Postby greensun108 » Mon Dec 22, 2014 10:53 pm

Thanks for the advice, to those who replied. I will rethink my topic choice, and choose something less personal, that more clearly explains my decision for law school.
Last edited by greensun108 on Fri Dec 26, 2014 2:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2014 5:07 pm

Re: PS first draft! Any advice appreciated

Postby coffeebeans24 » Wed Dec 24, 2014 11:06 pm

I really liked your PS, but I'm not an admissions counselor haha You said it was 575, but I would check with your schools word limits to make sure you are not over. You have a 4.0 and lsat of mid 170's so I'd say your chances of getting in wherever you are applying are really good (but I'm sure you knew that already).

"Since graduating from college, I've worked in five jobs and four cities ( a bit awkward), to pin down exactly what I want from a career: intellectual rigor, a use for both creativity and meticulousness, contact with diverse people, the ability to work independently without being isolated, and a chance to (do) good.


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Re: PS first draft! Any advice appreciated

Postby kublaikahn » Wed Dec 24, 2014 11:23 pm

Too risky. if your numbers are 4.0/175. You seem lacking in direction. The death of your father seems like an excuse for being little more than a barista for the past four to six years.

Also the philosophy of service is trite and makes you seem either insincere, or worse, naive.

Just write something concise and interesting; low risk. Use the active voice and get rid of all those cheap -ly words. Start over.


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Re: PS first draft! Any advice appreciated

Postby red95 » Thu Dec 25, 2014 12:00 am

Yes, I also agree that you risk sounding as though you still lack direction. You want to be able to show why you are now certain that law is the right path for you. If you talk about working 5 jobs in 4 cities, can you give specific examples of job experiences that help illustrate why you decided on law as a career? This would help round out the story.

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