(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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- Joined: Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:48 pm
Personally I like the story, but it's definitely on the riskier end of personal statements. If you're okay with that, then the suggestion I would make is to strengthen the last two paragraphs. A big weakness is that the story doesn't lead to a big "aha, that's why he wants to be a lawyer" moment. It's not my story, so I can't give you much advice on how to make that leap. A starting point might be expanding on what you mean by the "I might protect the rights of some family" sentence. Envision yourself as a lawyer - what exactly do you want to be doing?
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