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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
sirstynkalot
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 7:54 pm

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Postby sirstynkalot » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:05 am

Got what I needed, thanks guys!
Last edited by sirstynkalot on Tue Nov 18, 2014 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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ikethegremlin
Posts: 131
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:09 pm

Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby ikethegremlin » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:57 am

In an awesome, ideal world, I love this Personal Statement. It reads as really honest, totally unique, and it's pretty well written, though it could do with a whole bunch of polishing and tightening.

If I were in Admissions and I read this, I think I'd be really intrigued - in conjunction with good numbers, anyway.

Trouble is, I've long suspected that this world is not that awesome or ideal, and that the simple fact that you decided to submit a PS in which you admit to smoking Marijuana (no matter how rational or human that decision to smoke was) will immediately mark you as someone unlikely to fit in to the rather rigid world of law, and thus unlikely to help out a school's employment scores, three years down the line. More conservatively inclined adcomms are just going to balk at the whole concept without really reading it, you know?

It's also committing the PS sin of being overly specific to one legal area - totally fine, I think, but the received wisdom is that it makes one appear naive for thinking that in three years time you will still want to be a such-and-such because of the whatever-reason-you-give-in-your-PS.

So, I think the only place I would submit this is maybe Yale, if you are sitting on something like a 3.85, 173. You know - high risk, high reward strategy. If you've got great numbers, then don't sabotage your chances with a PS like this - it won't help you, but it might just maim your chances. If you're shooting for the moon and think you don't have a shot without some kind of drastic attempt then maybe, just maybe, it'll land in front of the right person and you'll get some respect for your cajones. But I sort of doubt it.

sirstynkalot
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 7:54 pm

Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby sirstynkalot » Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:48 am

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Last edited by sirstynkalot on Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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mist4bison
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Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby mist4bison » Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:03 am

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Last edited by mist4bison on Tue Oct 06, 2015 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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ikethegremlin
Posts: 131
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Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby ikethegremlin » Sun Nov 16, 2014 12:19 pm

sirstynkalot wrote:I have a 171/3.36 and intend to send this to a couple of very competitive schools in MMJ states. I'm shooting for the moon. I also have to have medical marijuana available to complete law school, and my condition and well documented history qualifies me for that course of treatment in every state with a medical marijuana law. Even if I say nothing, they're going to know what I'm doing pretty soon after I walk through the doors. I promise. I'm bedridden without the stuff. I need to go somewhere where I don't feel ostracized for it. Plus, like I said, I'm going to have to go back from time to time as a consultant.

What are your suggestions for tightening and polishing?

Would the narrow scope of the personal statement also be improper for an investment banker trying to get into securities? I didn't include my resume but that's a pretty close comparison. I literally wrote a book on OSHA compliance in indoor marijuana horticulture facilities (but have not yet published - that's my summer project). In a few months I'm getting certified by L&I in everything from respirator inspection to hazmat handling. As far as I know, after that I will be the foremost authority on legal compliance in legal marijuana cultivation in my state at least. I didn't put it on my resume, but I was invited to present to the state legislature about energy efficiency measures. I'm rather focused.

Regarding hiring difficulty, I don't mean to brag but I've had several local business owners tell me they wanted to put me on retainer in three years. If nothing else, I am rather confident I can sell legal services to other marijuana professionals. This skill set is in high demand in my area and I anticipate that area will spread farther than the two... sorry I mean four states it is in right now. I'm hoping some admissions staff will see that.

Thank you for the feedback! And I also have an alternate personal statement that focuses on my volunteer work.


I mean, it sounds as if you have a very unique and specific case, and thus I suspect none of us will be able to offer much advice. TLS tends to be about staying on the beaten track. Personally, I think we could all be a bit more unique - I wrote quite a 'different' PS just for Yale (I figured screw it, I'm not getting in anyway so I might as well be interesting) and went a bit outside the lines for Harvard, too. In my JS1 it was commented on in an extremely positive way, so I'm glad I did that.

I think you know more about what you are doing than we do, I would just repeat that I have NO idea how an adcomm will view it, and so I advocate caution only because I'd hate for you to be disappointed!

sirstynkalot
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 7:54 pm

Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby sirstynkalot » Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:47 pm

Wonderful. Thanks for the suggestions guys.

I'll have to think harder about your suggestions. I've wanted to be a criminal lawyer since early childhood, but that's also very cliche. I was trying to work that in without derailing focus. *facepalm*

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Gefuehlsecht
Posts: 113
Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:20 am

Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby Gefuehlsecht » Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:13 am

Good grief, man, not the weed again. Isn't there something else you can think of?
I'd stay away from this as a PS topic. It's been done.

Also, do keep in mind that state bars like to request a copy of your law school application which will include this statement. This might become an issue. It might be perfectly fine. But why would you want to expose yourself to such a scenario? Once you're admitted and licensed, practice in this area to your heart's content, but until then, stay away.

cmscott12
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:05 pm

Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby cmscott12 » Tue Nov 18, 2014 12:28 pm

Of the many MJ related personal statements I've seen on TLS, this is definitely one of the better ones. However, the one thing that stood out to me is that it seems like you have dedicated so much time and effort to building a business and a career in the MJ industry and then you just take a left turn and say you want to be a lawyer. It almost seems like all that stuff you did was just a roundabout resume booster. Frankly, why the hell would you give up the momentum you've gained in the MJ industry to become a lawyer? I get that you might want to try to affect change from the judicial side, but you will probably live a more satisfied, and less stressful life if you just keep doing what you're doing and help people by growing and selling fantastic nuggets.

I know I've gotten a little off topic from critiquing your PS. If you are dead set on law school, then I would make sure you answer the question of "why do you want to be a lawyer so badly that you're giving up everything you've worked for so far?". I mean, take solace knowing that your back-up plan is growing nugs.

sirstynkalot
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 7:54 pm

Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby sirstynkalot » Tue Nov 18, 2014 2:02 pm

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Last edited by sirstynkalot on Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Gefuehlsecht
Posts: 113
Joined: Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:20 am

Re: Please give feedback. Should be interesting if nothing else.

Postby Gefuehlsecht » Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:01 pm

sirstynkalot wrote:Gefuehlsecht, this is one of three different drafts I have prepared for this admissions cycle. I have already verified my involvement with the business will show up during an SBA ethics interview and have verified that there are no problems since I'm following all relevant state and local law. Thank you for your suggestions.


Well, if you did your homework, then run with it. I'd still find something else to write about, but ultimately, it's up to you. Nevertheless, good luck!

sirstynkalot
Posts: 66
Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2014 7:54 pm

Re: .

Postby sirstynkalot » Tue Nov 18, 2014 3:22 pm

Oh. Yeah. I'm not going to. Didn't realize how brusque that came off. I think you're right, and I have two other perfectly good and true essays focusing on social justice and volunteer work. It sounds like those will be much better received and if they have questions about my resume they can just contact me I guess.




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