starting to brainstorm my essay, opinions on my topic Forum

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robertrulez

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starting to brainstorm my essay, opinions on my topic

Post by robertrulez » Sun Apr 13, 2014 3:54 pm

So I'm beginning to brainstorm my essay for the next cycle. I have a few ideas and wanted to get some input:

I think for a lot of people, university is the most formative experience in their life. For me however, I believe high school was because I went to one of the roughest schools in the country (they even made a pbs frontline special on it). I want to talk about several of my experiences there. When gang members threatened me freshman year, the riots with the hurricane katrina refugees, my friend being murdered in a gang battle, and friends being deported. I guess my main goal behind recounting my experiences is to convey how my high school career introduced me to something invaluable: reality. It's why I pushed myself to do well in all aspects of my life including college, why I understand the realities of poverty, and why I want to go to law school to pursue a career in public interest immigration law (I especially want to connect my experience with friends being deported to that desire.)

I'm just worried it's going to be a cliche, boohoo I grew up in shitty circumstances essay. I don't want it to be a sob story because although I grew up in that environment, I had a great upbringing because I had people who loved and cared for me. I'm just wondering how law school admissions view those type of stories?
Last edited by robertrulez on Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

HRomanus

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Re: starting to brainstorm my essay, opinions on my topic

Post by HRomanus » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:10 pm

robertrulez wrote:So I'm beginning to brainstorm my essay for the next cycle. I have a few ideas and wanted to get some input:

I think for a lot of people, university is the most formative experience in their life. For me however, I believe high school was because I went to one of the roughest schools in the country (they even made a pbs frontline special on it). I want to talk about several of my experiences there. When gang members threatened me freshman year, my friend being murdered in a gang battle, and friends being deported. I guess my main goal behind recounting my experiences is to convey how my high school career introduced me to something invaluable: reality. That reality is what I feels sets me apart from a lot of other students who come from privileged backgrounds. It's why I pushed myself to do well in all aspects of my life including college, why I understand the realities of poverty, and why I want to go to law school to pursue a career in public interest immigration law (I especially want to connect my experience with friends being deported to that desire.)

I'm just worried it's going to be a cliche, boohoo I grew up in shitty circumstances essay. I don't want it to be a sob story because although I grew up in that environment, I had a great upbringing because I had people who loved and cared for me. I'm just wondering how law school admissions view those type of stories?
The topic sounds like great material for a great statement. Some suggestions: I would not make a comparison to other applicants because it's presumptive and condescending. Also, don't focus on your situation, focus on what you did during or after the situation. Don't write that life sucks or even that you realized life sucks, write how you persevered and achieved during horrible circumstances.

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rinkrat19

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Re: starting to brainstorm my essay, opinions on my topic

Post by rinkrat19 » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:18 pm

Also, don't make it sound like high school was your most formative time and basically nothing interesting or important has happened to you since. Connect events from high school to events in college and to who you are in the present. Even if high school was earth-shattering and life has been tame since, you are not the same person you were then and your essay should not stop at high school graduation.

robertrulez

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Re: starting to brainstorm my essay, opinions on my topic

Post by robertrulez » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:49 pm

HRomanus wrote:
robertrulez wrote:So I'm beginning to brainstorm my essay for the next cycle. I have a few ideas and wanted to get some input:

I think for a lot of people, university is the most formative experience in their life. For me however, I believe high school was because I went to one of the roughest schools in the country (they even made a pbs frontline special on it). I want to talk about several of my experiences there. When gang members threatened me freshman year, my friend being murdered in a gang battle, and friends being deported. I guess my main goal behind recounting my experiences is to convey how my high school career introduced me to something invaluable: reality. That reality is what I feels sets me apart from a lot of other students who come from privileged backgrounds. It's why I pushed myself to do well in all aspects of my life including college, why I understand the realities of poverty, and why I want to go to law school to pursue a career in public interest immigration law (I especially want to connect my experience with friends being deported to that desire.)

I'm just worried it's going to be a cliche, boohoo I grew up in shitty circumstances essay. I don't want it to be a sob story because although I grew up in that environment, I had a great upbringing because I had people who loved and cared for me. I'm just wondering how law school admissions view those type of stories?
The topic sounds like great material for a great statement. Some suggestions: I would not make a comparison to other applicants because it's presumptive and condescending. Also, don't focus on your situation, focus on what you did during or after the situation. Don't write that life sucks or even that you realized life sucks, write how you persevered and achieved during horrible circumstances.

Of course!! I wasn't going to mention anything about comparing myself to other students. Thanks for your comments though!
Last edited by robertrulez on Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

robertrulez

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Re: starting to brainstorm my essay, opinions on my topic

Post by robertrulez » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:52 pm

rinkrat19 wrote:Also, don't make it sound like high school was your most formative time and basically nothing interesting or important has happened to you since. Connect events from high school to events in college and to who you are in the present. Even if high school was earth-shattering and life has been tame since, you are not the same person you were then and your essay should not stop at high school graduation.
Thanks, I definitely will do that! I'll talk about my college involvement with immigrant rights causes and hopefully I can do some volunteer work this summer in that field! Thanks!

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TLSanders

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Re: starting to brainstorm my essay, opinions on my topic

Post by TLSanders » Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:36 am

The presentation, the way you tie it in with what you've learned and what you bring to the table, means more than the topic; with certain rare exceptions that are just a bad idea, no one can tell you whether or not a topic will make a strong personal statement until you've started writing and can show them where you're going with it.

That said, your list of incidents you'd like to cover in your personal statement is far too long. You're not going to be able to do more than skim the surface with so many major events on your list. If you do decide to go with this topic and that it helps to illustrate something important about you, choose one of those events as your core story rather than chronicling all of your difficult experiences.

And, when you choose your story, choose it for what is shows about you, not the story itself. From your short list, it sounds as if the majority of what your considering happened to you or around you; remember that the admissions committee is interested in seeing something revealed about you, your character, your strengths, etc., not just where you've been and choose your focal point accordingly.

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