to comma or not to comma

[BillsFan9907]

Which of the two looks best:

1) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States with my family joining during vacations.

2) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations.

[nothingtosee]

Which of the two looks best:

1) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States with my family joining during vacations.

2) As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations.

2. He's not traveling with his family

[politics89]

These are both confusing. Make it two sentences. Something like this:

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States. During vacations, my family would join him on the road.

[xylocarp]

I agree with the poster above. Both of your options are a bit more confusing than they need to be, and splitting it up makes more sense.

[jn7]

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

[politics89]

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

[xylocarp]

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

[jn7]

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

Haha!! I didn't even realize I put that though I'm sure OP being an applicant to law school is smart enough not to copy and paste. That's good stuff

[Brettanomyces]

I have nothing to contribute--only that I laughed so much, I almost went insane.

[BillsFan9907]

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

Jesus. This made the entire admissions cycle worth it for me! Funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thanks TLS!

[xylocarp]

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

The second one is a MUCH more interesting story

Jesus. This made the entire admissions cycle worth it for me! Funniest thing I've seen in a while. Thanks TLS!

Happy to be of service

[Dingo Starr]

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

This.
Also, #1 is poorly written and #2 does not use commas correctly.

[aviatrixsteff]

As a professional basketball player, my father traveled the United States, with my family joining during vacations -->

My father traveled the United States as a professional basketball with my family joining him during vacations.

URM to the max