Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Kevinlomax
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Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

Postby Kevinlomax » Mon Jan 06, 2014 8:55 pm

Redacted
Last edited by Kevinlomax on Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

Postby alexrodriguez » Tue Jan 07, 2014 5:06 am

HUA

Kevinlomax
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Re: Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

Postby Kevinlomax » Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:52 am

?

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bjsesq
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Re: Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

Postby bjsesq » Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:56 am

Both are pretty rough. They seem more like recitations of your resume, and not interesting stories that show the adcomm why you aren't a shitbag. Suggestion: start over.

Kevinlomax
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Re: Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

Postby Kevinlomax » Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:37 am

Interesting. My original essay was more of a "story" and the advice i was given was 1/3 story, 1/3 why this qualifies me, 1/3 qualifications that would make me a good lawyer/student

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bjsesq
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Re: Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

Postby bjsesq » Tue Jan 07, 2014 9:39 am

Kevinlomax wrote:Interesting. My original essay was more of a "story" and the advice i was given was 1/3 story, 1/3 why this qualifies me, 1/3 qualifications that would make me a good lawyer/student

Whoever told you qualifications is wrong. That is what resumes are for.

2/3 story, 1/3 why this means the law is for you. Reciting resume points is redundant and boring as fuark.

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ScottRiqui
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Re: Choice of two PS's. Military related...Help Appreciated !!!

Postby ScottRiqui » Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:03 am

bjsesq wrote:
Kevinlomax wrote:Interesting. My original essay was more of a "story" and the advice i was given was 1/3 story, 1/3 why this qualifies me, 1/3 qualifications that would make me a good lawyer/student

Whoever told you qualifications is wrong. That is what resumes are for.

2/3 story, 1/3 why this means the law is for you. Reciting resume points is redundant and boring as fuark.


Yep. They both seemed like resume dumps to me too.

The two questions you want to answer are "why the law" (why you've chosen to pursue a legal career) and "why me" (why the school should admit you). Best not to spend too much of the PS explaining the "why law" part, because without actually knowing what it's like to be a practicing lawyer, your reasons might come across as naive, idealistic or uninformed. Spend a few sentences connecting your past experiences/interests with your future plans to be a lawyer and call it good. The bulk of your PS should be spent expressing some facet of your personality that's going to make the adcomms think you'll be successful.




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