PS - Final Draft Forum

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Anonymous User
Posts: 428116
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

PS - Final Draft

Post by Anonymous User » Sat Jan 04, 2014 9:37 pm

Hey All,

I posted this about 2 months ago and have gotten a few edits in. I'm primarily concerned with how to work the last paragraph in better.

Thanks for your help....


Edit: I think despite only a single response on feed back I got enough to make a decision on what I'm going to do. Thanks for the help stranger!
Last edited by Anonymous User on Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nervouspervus

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Re: PS - Final Draft

Post by nervouspervus » Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:36 pm

Sorry for your loss. As far as your PS is concerned: I think it's well written but kind of irrelevant topically. I understand you are trying to highlight your leadership skills but realize that essays like these can be a toss up because some might think you are exploiting a tragic situation. At 22nd+, a lot of law school applicants have faced tragedy. I'm sure a lot of admissions officers have to. I'm a pretty sentimental person myself and almost wrote something similar to undergrad but I decided against it. Aside from a bitter troll looking for an ulterior motive where an ulterior motive doesn't exist, I think you also have to worry about forging a stronger connection between this story and how it relates to your future as a law school student. Where are you applying, if I may ask? I have a feeling it won't really matter if your numbers are good enough to get you in alone because it is well written and you followed proper grammatical conventions. Other than that, you might want to reconsider how you are going to tie this story into your aspirations to be a lawyer.

Anonymous User
Posts: 428116
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: PS - Final Draft

Post by Anonymous User » Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:50 pm

nervouspervus wrote:Sorry for your loss. As far as your PS is concerned: I think it's well written but kind of irrelevant topically. I understand you are trying to highlight your leadership skills but realize that essays like these can be a toss up because some might think you are exploiting a tragic situation. At 22nd+, a lot of law school applicants have faced tragedy. I'm sure a lot of admissions officers have to. I'm a pretty sentimental person myself and almost wrote something similar to undergrad but I decided against it. Aside from a bitter troll looking for an ulterior motive where an ulterior motive doesn't exist, I think you also have to worry about forging a stronger connection between this story and how it relates to your future as a law school student. Where are you applying, if I may ask? I have a feeling it won't really matter if your numbers are good enough to get you in alone because it is well written and you followed proper grammatical conventions. Other than that, you might want to reconsider how you are going to tie this story into your aspirations to be a lawyer.

I'm mulling an alternative ending that instead of focusing on why law school merely looks at character and personal growth. More and more i'm airing on the side of that ending. I agree that it feels forced but I know some schools are asking for something that represents a motivation for law school.

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