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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
itsallgoodman
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2013 4:45 pm

Deleted.

Postby itsallgoodman » Fri Jan 03, 2014 4:06 pm

Removed.
Last edited by itsallgoodman on Tue Jan 21, 2014 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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kirbyb
Posts: 51
Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2013 9:09 pm

Re: Looking for feedback! Anything helps!

Postby kirbyb » Fri Jan 03, 2014 4:27 pm

The paragraph about group work seems a bit whiny. It gives off the impression that people unloaded the work on you because you didn't do anything to stop them. It also kind of attacks those other people for not being "like-minded, motivated... similar work ethic." Do you still hate group work? That says you don't play well with others.

I think you should spend more time talking about prepping for the case than talking about your biographical info. That, and the school courses, are included elsewhere in your application. Talk more about the mock trial. What sparked your epiphany? Did the opposing counsel say what you expected him to say and that led to the realization that you were fully prepped? Did you just look over a huge stack of notes?

You can write more about why you'd be a good lawyer instead of writing about why you want to be one. Write more about who you are so the adcomm gets a better feel of who you are. All I know about you is that you took a bunch of law related courses. Why did it interest you?

itsallgoodman
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Dec 01, 2013 4:45 pm

Re: Looking for feedback! Anything helps!

Postby itsallgoodman » Mon Jan 06, 2014 9:31 pm

Thanks for your input! I appreciate it. I will get to work on making some changes.




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