Personal statement critique -- in serious need of feedback!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
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Personal statement critique -- in serious need of feedback!

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:33 pm

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Last edited by Anonymous User on Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273311
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Personal statement critique -- in serious need of feedback!

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jan 03, 2014 6:00 pm

*bump* sorry to be obnoxious, but I'm really trying to get this darn thing finalized so I can submit my apps. Any feedback would be super helpful.

sneaks[ap]
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Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2014 4:36 pm

Re: Personal statement critique -- in serious need of feedback!

Postby sneaks[ap] » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:59 pm

Anonymous User wrote:*bump* sorry to be obnoxious, but I'm really trying to get this darn thing finalized so I can submit my apps. Any feedback would be super helpful.


I found myself unsure of what the main point of the personal statement was even as I was reading the second paragraph. I think it would be helpful if you made it a little more clear about what the topic of your statement is going to be about in the first paragraph. The first paragraph seemed kind of random and I didn't really know where it was going. Also, I might want to leave out the word "manipulate", as it's just a negative word that might give off the wrong impression. Just my two cents.

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scoobysnax
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Re: Personal statement critique -- in serious need of feedback!

Postby scoobysnax » Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:47 pm

Well-written and interesting. Like the user before me, I found the sentence about manipulating your parents jarringly dark.

However, I'm not sure how this experience translates to law. The last paragraph needs expanding and should be the focus of your PS. Explain why and how being a lawyer can help those who will be in your situation in the future. When you talk about how your therapist helped you, I wondered, "why isn't s/he trying to be a therapist then?"

Anonymous User
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Re: Personal statement critique -- in serious need of feedback!

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Jan 04, 2014 4:24 pm

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