VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

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Anonymous User
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VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Dec 22, 2013 6:22 pm

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Last edited by Anonymous User on Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Black Hat
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Re: VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Postby Black Hat » Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:16 am

I was just looking around and stumbled onto this. I do not have any substantive comments.

However, you have a typo in the second paragraph, second sentence. "She was no longer the animated woman she was once was, but rather a shell of her former self."

Good luck.

JVrva
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Re: VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Postby JVrva » Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:34 am

What's the typo??

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Black Hat
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Re: VERY rough 1st draft- any help is greatly appreciated!!

Postby Black Hat » Sat Dec 28, 2013 2:01 am

JVrva wrote:What's the typo??


"she was once was." I guess that isn't a 'hard typo.' However, it doesn't read well. It would sound better as "she once was." Just my opinion. Actually I think this is a 'hard typo', it doesn't sound right.




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