2nd Personal Statement Revision, appreciate the feedback!

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bisanch
Posts: 19
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:19 pm

2nd Personal Statement Revision, appreciate the feedback!

Postby bisanch » Mon Dec 16, 2013 1:50 am

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Last edited by bisanch on Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

lawschool2014hopeful
Posts: 554
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:48 pm

Re: 2nd Personal Statement Revision, appreciate the feedback!

Postby lawschool2014hopeful » Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:02 pm

6/10.

1) Your dysfunctional family and how it connects to law was a good idea, but your execution felt forced.
2) Why cant your parents communicate with each other? I am confused?
3) You spend too much time talking about your parent's dysfunction, the whole pandora's box part really felt dragged on. The focus should be on how you changed, and you kind already gotten to it by 2nd paragraph, you learned perspective, but then you went back to communicating the idea that your family was dysfunctional, this is not the sort of circle or "closure" people like.
4) Just what are you trying to communicate with your discussion of your firm experience? That you were a fun person to be around?
5) Since you ended with the whole this is why I wanted to go law school tidbit, I have to be critical in saying that I am not convinced at all. You keep telling me what skills or qualities you learnt rather through demonstration.




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