Personal Statement Draft Forum

[Anonymous User]

Thank you for reading this and providing feedback. It is much appretiated.

During the summer of 2012 I faced the difficult task of analyzing my current state. This was a task that I had never done before. What I found was that the person that I had become was not the person I wanted to be. The person I imagined myself being was an athletic, physically fit individual who was gifted both physically and mentally. I was someone who valued health and had character that was built from hard work and dealing with difficult life experiences. I imagined myself challenged daily by my work and using my mental capabilities to improve the situation of others. I was a person who had strong relationships and I was respected in the community because I was very ethical, honest, and hard working. I was well educated and prepared for anything that could be thrown my way. Unfortunately, this was an imagination.

The reality was that I was 250 pounds and drank alcohol four to five days a week. I was dissatisfied with the challenges my work provided. I did not use my mental capabilities to help others; I only did so to further my own means. I had a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from a State University but, it was something that I felt did not provide difficult challenges and for that reason, it was nothing to be proud of. I was single and did not have strong relationships with my family or friends. I had only worked hard at times during my life but, for the most part, I often fell back on my strengths that I was very fortunate to have naturally. The reality was harsh but, I saw some positives.

I was naturally gifted mentally and physically, I was always a good athlete and rarely struggled throughout my education. Despite drinking a lot of alcohol, I was extremely healthy, I was very fortunate to not have any health issues. I had difficult life experiences that I had grown from such as growing up in a single parent household with weak personal relationships and having an alcoholic father. All of these positives were outside of my control and I was blessed to have them.

The single most important positive thing I saw was; the differences from the person I imagined myself being and the person I currently was were all things that I could change. All I needed to do was work hard and have faith in my abilities. So I set out to make my imagination a reality.

I have progressed physically; I am currently in very good shape and have lost 60 pounds. I did so by doing research on nutrition and physical fitness, developing a plan, and putting in the hard work to accomplish my goals. This work has paid off; over the last two years I have won three golf tournaments and qualified for the 2013 New York Open. I have completely eliminated alcohol from my life and have been sober for over a year. This has greatly improved my ability to perform any task.

I have developed stronger person relationships with my family and friends. I now talk with my mother daily and spend time visiting with her, my sister, and my nephews. I make trips out to visit my father who unfortunately still struggles with alcoholism and is currently homeless. I have done what I can to help him and will continue to do so. I have developed several strong relationships with members at the golf club where I currently work. These relationships have resulted in many friendships as well as connections that will undoubtedly assist me in the future.

The final piece of making my imagination a reality is to further my education and find a career that will satisfy my needs. My career needs are as follows: I want a career in which I am an asset to the community, I want to assist those around me with difficult situations life has presented them and use my abilities to provide solutions, and lastly I want a career where professionalism, ethics, and honesty are of upmost importance. I have spent a lot of time researching different career paths as well as having many conversations with successful members of the golf club where I currently work. In conversations with these individuals that range across many fields of work and educational backgrounds, I have related best with those who have a degree in law. Most of these individuals are attorneys or judges but, several are employed in fields of work outside of law. With this information and my personal requirements, I came to the conclusion that a degree in law will best prepare me for the career that I am looking for.

I am prepared to put in the hard work to get through law school. I feel that I can succeed in the face of any adversity. Besides being determined to accomplish my own personal goals, I also feel as though I can help those around me. I get the most satisfaction from bringing those around me up and helping them accomplish their goals. For these reasons I feel that I would be an asset to any law school, business, or organization. Thank you for your consideration.

[03152016]

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[Anonymous User]

Thanks Max, I used that as a main focus in a previous draft for a personal statement. I did not feel it was as strong of an overall message because, I had trouble building that into why I am applying for law school. There was not a real connection there. Do you think it would be advantageous to completely remove or try to reduce the impact of those details about my father? He did have a major effect on my personal growth but, I do not want to have the reader focused on that instead of my overall message.

[03152016]

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