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Re: Rough First Draft - Shred It
Don't have the time for a very detailed post, but here:
That first few sentences are incomprehensible. Don't fill your PS with SAT words. It makes you look like a giant douche.
Don't mention TV shows about lawyers. It makes you look naive because they aren't anything like what real lawyers do, which is sit behind a desk all day typing on a keyboard.
Your PS reads like the following:
I've wanted to be a lawyer since I was 8 because I thought my uncle was cool and I got to listen to a bunch of law students talk about beer. Some of my family likes that I want to be a lawyer, others probably think I'll turn out to be a crook. But I've watched Law and Order and read a lot of news stories about what lawyers do and I still want to do it. I've volunteered a bunch in things tangentially related to the law to pad my resume.
Seriously: pick a substantial experience, preferably other than sitting in on a law school class as an 8 year old. Reading your PS, I have absolutely no idea who you are. They're going to have your resume and they know you want to go to law school, probably since you were a small child when your mom griped about how you argued so much that you should be a lawyer. You want to distinguish yourself from the other thousands of people applying who also fit that exact description. Maybe talk about something that you did with one of the organizations you volunteered for.
That first few sentences are incomprehensible. Don't fill your PS with SAT words. It makes you look like a giant douche.
Don't mention TV shows about lawyers. It makes you look naive because they aren't anything like what real lawyers do, which is sit behind a desk all day typing on a keyboard.
Your PS reads like the following:
I've wanted to be a lawyer since I was 8 because I thought my uncle was cool and I got to listen to a bunch of law students talk about beer. Some of my family likes that I want to be a lawyer, others probably think I'll turn out to be a crook. But I've watched Law and Order and read a lot of news stories about what lawyers do and I still want to do it. I've volunteered a bunch in things tangentially related to the law to pad my resume.
Seriously: pick a substantial experience, preferably other than sitting in on a law school class as an 8 year old. Reading your PS, I have absolutely no idea who you are. They're going to have your resume and they know you want to go to law school, probably since you were a small child when your mom griped about how you argued so much that you should be a lawyer. You want to distinguish yourself from the other thousands of people applying who also fit that exact description. Maybe talk about something that you did with one of the organizations you volunteered for.