(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Posts: 101
Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2013 11:58 am


Postby amh » Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:04 pm

Last edited by amh on Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Posts: 1300
Joined: Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:02 pm

Re: PS Final Draft????

Postby AntipodeanPhil » Thu Nov 28, 2013 12:44 am

Three general comments:

1. Your PS comes across as fairly negative - especially when talking about your parents. Negativity is not a good thing in this context.

2. Relatedly, one of the major principles for this kind of writing is "show it, don't say it." You do too much saying, not enough showing. This relates to the above point: you can show negative things about your parents ("my father had problems with alcohol and drug addiction"), but you can't [i]say[/i[ or (or directly imply) such things -- that they're "failures," etc.

3. There are some odd phrasings and minor grammatical issues here. I would point them out, but I'm guessing you don't want me quoting large parts of this.

4. You should delete the last paragraph. It doesn't add anything, and violates point 2 (above).

User avatar
Posts: 176
Joined: Sat Aug 07, 2010 6:24 pm

Re: PS Final Draft????

Postby oshberg28 » Thu Nov 28, 2013 5:59 am

Sorry, but I think this requires a full re-write. You directly say that you have all of these great qualities, you know what failure is, how to avoid it, etc...but you don't show us how you have these qualities - you just state that you have them. The problem is that every applicant wants to say the same thing, but most reveal these qualities through an anecdote vice directly telling us in the PS. I think you need to delve further into a specific anecdote/story, show us what you learned from it, and be more introspective.

Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.