Diversity Statement - Too narrative?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Diversity Statement - Too narrative?

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Nov 11, 2013 12:35 am

When I was growing up in Vermont, my family owned a farm. My brothers, and I worked on the farm every day, but my dad had the toughest job. He would have to wake up every morning at 4:30 to do the morning milking. My dad went to bed early every night, even when it meant him spending less time than he would like with the family. As I got older though, I took over more responsibilities, including the milking on Saturday mornings every week. For the first time in years, my dad was getting mornings off and more quality time with the rest of us.
One morning in the winter, I woke up with a terrible fever. I had been feeling sick the night before, but assured my father that I would still be able to work. I knew this was my dad’s only opportunity to get rest from his routine. I crawled out of bed, pulled on my winter clothes and trudged through the snow up to the barn.
As I began the routine of milking the goats, I felt worse and worse. I wanted so badly to go back to the house and go back to sleep, or to ask my dad to take over for me, but I did not want to let my dad down. Around five o’clock I heard someone opening the door to the barn. I turned and saw my dad with a hot cup of tea and some ibuprofen. He had decided to come up and help me out, to sacrifice his only morning of rest for his son. For the rest of the morning my dad helped me to get my chores done. I worked the whole morning even though I was sick and my dad was willing to give up his time to sleep in so that I would be able to get more rest.
This one Saturday morning has stuck in my mind for years. When I think about growing up on a farm and its impact on my life, I cannot think of a more valuable experience for improving my work ethic. My father’s sacrifices for me and my family also taught me the value of being willing to help others. The sense of obligation to others and the commitment to finish a job without excuses served me well throughout college. At XXXXXX, these lessons led me to become academically successful and pushed me to become involved in community service. It also gave me the persistence to work part time to fund my education. Within my first year at XXXXXX, my family had lost the farm. We had become another victim of a trend in this country towards large-scale agriculture. Despite this, my memories of my childhood have pushed me to further my education. With these lessons, I believe I will be successful at law school and at developing a legal career aimed at improving the lives of others.

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Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:48 pm

Re: Diversity Statement - Too narrative?

Postby lawschool2014hopeful » Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:24 pm

I felt like I was reading Dr. Seuss,

Not for his ingenious rhymes,

but his extremely simple sequencing of events.

Sorry OP, you dont have diversity statement. Unless you truly had some extraordinary experiences on the farm, "simple hardwork" does not make you diverse, everyone works hard lol.

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