Personal Statement - First Draft (Deleted)

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Personal Statement - First Draft (Deleted)

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Oct 26, 2013 5:49 pm

Thank you!
Last edited by Anonymous User on Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273454
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Personal Statement - First Draft

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 29, 2013 11:51 am

***
Last edited by Anonymous User on Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

$alty
Posts: 50
Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:26 pm

Re: Personal Statement - First Draft

Postby $alty » Wed Oct 30, 2013 11:49 am

this is generally a solid PS. imo -- your middle paragraphs are the best. also, sometimes your writing is a bit wordy. for example: "so I was surprised when a partner called me unexpectedly." surprised and unexpectedly aren't synonyms, but I think they're redundant in this sentence. lastly, and maybe some TLSers will disagree, i think your last paragraph is too explicit -- I wouldn't just drop the school name unless you have specific things to say about that school.




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