Rip the hell outta it.

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Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Rip the hell outta it.

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:15 pm

¥
Last edited by Anonymous User on Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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blink
Posts: 428
Joined: Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:14 pm

Re: Rip the hell outta it.

Postby blink » Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:35 pm

This feels like a long, detailed, diverse GPA addendum. You didn't overcome anything except your own stupidity/immaturity. Your PS should draw from your strengths, not focus on a weakness.

In addition, you do a whole lot of telling us about what you did and what skills you have, rather than showing us.

ETA: you "nearly failed a class." Somehow that nearly makes you a college dropout?? Come on. I think you need to scrap this.

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Rip the hell outta it.

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 17, 2013 7:45 pm

blink wrote:This feels like a long, detailed, diverse GPA addendum. You didn't overcome anything except your own stupidity/immaturity. Your PS should draw from your strengths, not focus on a weakness.

In addition, you do a whole lot of telling us about what you did and what skills you have, rather than showing us.

ETA: you "nearly failed a class." Somehow that nearly makes you a college dropout?? Come on. I think you need to scrap this.

Thanks for the feedback. If others feel the same I'll try something else.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273263
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Rip the hell outta it.

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:34 pm

I'm going to take this down in two hours so please more feedback!

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mandyjay11
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Re: Rip the hell outta it.

Postby mandyjay11 » Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:43 pm

yeah, I agree I think you should go back to brainstorming. Maybe there is a PS in your mom and dad's situation/heritage and how that has affected you. I don't know, but this is not the best you can do.

I'm not going to even talk about the length of a lot of these sentences. (i.e. My mother’s side of the family also showed me my distinct Hispanic culture—such as large family gatherings, palatable food, and metaphorical proverbs that can be applied to many life situations—that I could not have experienced without being a part of it. )

Keep at it! GL

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Rip the hell outta it.

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:00 pm

mandyjay11 wrote:yeah, I agree I think you should go back to brainstorming. Maybe there is a PS in your mom and dad's situation/heritage and how that has affected you. I don't know, but this is not the best you can do.

I'm not going to even talk about the length of a lot of these sentences. (i.e. My mother’s side of the family also showed me my distinct Hispanic culture—such as large family gatherings, palatable food, and metaphorical proverbs that can be applied to many life situations—that I could not have experienced without being a part of it. )

Keep at it! GL

Right on. Thanks guys, back to the drawing board




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