5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
Posts: 273151
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Oct 12, 2013 4:43 pm

Rewriting....
Last edited by Anonymous User on Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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KD35
Posts: 948
Joined: Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:30 am

Re: 5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

Postby KD35 » Sat Oct 12, 2013 4:54 pm

You sound really anti-lawyer in it, especially in the middle. I do like the points of what you hope to do with a law degree, even if that might not necessarily be accurate in terms of reality. Also:

Anonymous User wrote:Subway Sandwich restaurants, just like many of their fast-food counterparts, or are primarily or solely franchisee owned.


And while it is nice that your PS says why you want to go to law school...you don't necessarily show anything about why you deserve to go to the law school you're applying to.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273151
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: 5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:00 pm

Point taken regarding to the anti-lawyer part, maybe I should rephrase that bit. Basically, trying to say certain lawyers are making a living basically on convincing many of these employees that they should sue their company, but not many lawyers are out there actually working with business owners to prevent these issues from ever arising, they are more reactionary rather then being pro-active. Which is what I kind of hope to change or what field I hope to go into. First draft so I know I need a lot more work, but thanks KD!

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rinkrat19
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Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am

Re: 5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

Postby rinkrat19 » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:04 pm

I don't learn anything about you as a person except that your dad owns some Subways. Unless the essay prompt is specifically "why do you want to go to law school," I think you actually need to trim that aspect of it down. You don't display any qualities or characteristics that would make you a good lawyer/law student, and you don't show any of your own personality, except for some contempt for your employees (who apparently only bring frivolous lawsuits) against employers (who are apparently never in the wrong).

And don't use the $5 footlong jingle unless it really gets tied into your theme.

BigLawer
Posts: 121
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:37 pm

Re: 5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

Postby BigLawer » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:14 pm

I think you need to start over, this doesnt tell anything about you or why you want to go to law school.

sparty99
Posts: 1433
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:41 pm

Re: 5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

Postby sparty99 » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:19 pm

I didn't like this PS. You sound like a pro-employer zealot who is trying to defend its business practices. " You use the term "outlandish." You sound like you as an employer can do no wrong.

Your story can be interesting as you manage Subway. But you need to stop trashing your employees and their right to seek justice. I could never imagine you doing pro-bono work. You need to write how the lawsuits made you think about going to law school and how you started to research the laws or something. Or tell a story that occured and made you want to go to law school. Or how your interactions with the employees prompted you to go to law school.

Or take a different approach and show how your experience as a small business owner has made you a better person or how that experience can add value to the classroom. Or what skills you learned growing up in family owned business. How has that experience shaped who you are? Instead of going to the movies every weekend, were you working at the restaurant? Did that instill a work ethic inside you? How is your experience growing up different then your peers?

Anonymous User
Posts: 273151
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: 5 Dollar Foot Long, Any, Any.....

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:30 pm

Great points again guyss, reeeading it you guys are right..I"m going to scratch it and start over.




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